moving on

Do you ever feel sore from a race and walk around the next few days, knowing that it looks a little funny? It's been two days, and I still can't walk right. Seriously. I planned on running tomorrow but I can't put weight on my right quad and bend my leg at the same time - the leg just buckles under me. It's hilarious. It's happened before. Every time I run a marathon, but I must selectively erase it from my memory. When I was hobbling around the other night my husband thought I was sick talking about my next marathon. Maybe I won't be able to run tomorrow - if I plan a flat route . . . it's walking downhill that's really getting me right now - maybe I'll get in the pool. The pool . . . scary place. I'm afraid to swim. I'm afraid of putting my head underwater and trying to swim at the same time. I've done it before, and I know I can do it. It's just a big fear. I'm completely self-conscious, and I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything by flayling around in the water. I imagine myself looking like a fish out of water, flopping around. However, I have exactly 13 days until I see swimming on my training calendar. I worked out a training plan until the end of the year with lots of cross-training. I have a duathlon scheduled in July (trail run, road bike, trail run - no swim), 2 short trail races this summer, and 4 marathons before the end of the year, but no triathlons scheduled yet. I'm thinking maybe if I get this cross-training thing down, and I feel a lot more confident in the water . . .

My brother is my inspiration. He told me about his first tri last summer and how he got so emotional after the swim that he almost started crying. He wasn't sure he'd be able to finish the swim, and being a novice, had to stop in the water several times to get the water out of his cheap goggles. He's currently training for his first half-ironman later this summer. He ran the half-marathon on Sunday in 1:22:53, after running a marathon in 2:59:28 seven weeks ago. His recent half was just to get a gauge for his half-iron training. What a stud. He's so disciplined when he trains. He has a full-time job and a family (just like everybody else) and finds the time to train for it all. But I see him do it, and it makes me believe that I can do it. He used to be really scared of the swim, and just went for it. So now I have aspirations.

What I really am excited about is the training. I love running - with a passion. And I'm so excited to be in the pool and on my bike. And I live within walking distance of the Y to lift weights and go to Yoga. I mentioned to someone today how humbling exercise can be, but it makes you feel so strong emotionally and physically to meet the challenges. I've done a lot of running in my life, but never planned so many events in one 6-month period of time. I think the cross-training can play a crucial role in me not getting injured. And judging from my lack of quad strength as exemplified by my after-marathon lack of ability to walk . . . I think the bike and the weights will do wonders for my legs.

So, big lofty goals. I have some time goals for my marathons, but other than that, I just hope to be able to complete the training and events and enjoy it all in the process.