Thursday, August 02, 2007

it's all because i used my voice

I don't often give myself priority in my world. I'm a stay-at-home mom with three (plus) kids. I'm not saying it's the right thing to do - lack of priority. It's just what happens. I get so busy meeting the needs of little munchkins that I give myself a back seat, and if there isn't time left over, so be it. It's usually when I get cranky and resentful that I get reminded that I need to do something for me - take care of me - give myself that priority. So when I haven't been running these last three and a half months (yes, I've been counting - there has been one day since April 16th), I seem to have even less of 'something' for me. Then you couple that with pregnancy and not feeling good and having to take care of the creature in my belly - I just get completely overwhelmed. But instead of getting resentful and cranky - after all, I really do get to play a lot, who could get mad about that - I used my voice, and told my husband something that I wanted for me.

Whew! I could've said all that in one sentence.

I was lying down last night in a dark room, writhing in pain with a headache - a bad one that pregnancy and sunny summer days with a glare on the water don't seem to help. My husband was doing some work on the computer in the other room. I randomly called out, "Can I do a race next month?" And really, instead of immediately responding with a clear answer, five minutes later he was asking what shirt size I wanted while he was finishing up registration online. And there you have it. I laid there, dumbfounded, and told him how many days I have to train. He tried to convince my that it's a short one, and that I could do it in my sleep, but although I'd like to think that I can, it's not gonna be so easy.

Today he woke me up at sunrise and somehow got me out the door. This is the pregnant mommy who's been sleeping in 'til 9:00, now getting out at 6:00. I can't believe I've been missing all of those summer sunrises. It was beautiful out and I got in two miles. I could lie to you and tell you that I went for a run, did even tempo, hillwork, and had some competition. The reality? I actually walked the entire two miles, my tempo was precisely even - 16 minute pace, there was a hill on the way home from the track, and I tried to speed up when the guy running laps went past me. But it was great to be out there. I think I might need a girdle or something for my ever-expading stomach and my running shorts are a little tight. Oh, well. If I have to walk that whole race next month, so be it.

So, I learned to use my voice and say what I wanted for me. I forgot that my husband always listens. I also learned this morning that part of that voice is wrapped up in my running (or walking). It's that time when all of my thoughts and intentions are for me. And when I write in my blog, it's all of my thoughts and intentions that come out and that's a good thing. It's priority for me. And really, the reason I'm currently getting that writing time is because all of my little computer users are still asleep. The early bird catches the worm, you know.

And . . . we found out what sex the baby is. But that's incentive for a whole other blog post. Unless you're savvy and you figure out how to cheat and get the information sooner. :)

15 comments:

13akbal said...

I bet the baby PR's. Although, you'd have to compare this race with with it's times in Boston.

psbowe said...

So glad to hear you taking time out for yourself, you truly deserve it. Sometimes I think, we're(moms) a little too hard on ourselves, have so much expectations that we forget to indulge ourselves more often. You truly got a winner(hub) too.

Happy training for your race now.

JustRun said...

Good for you! I've been wondering about you, not running this summer.

I don't think I'm savvy enough to figure out boy or girl. Unless savvy either means a) a good guesser or b) saying "please just tell me, Ginger!?"
I acutally like the surprise, though. So if it's not for another few months that you "reveal" it on the blog, I think that's cool too. :)

IHateToast said...

aw, hubby lerves his pusspuss.

Josh said...

What a good man!

Good luck with training and racing... And I must not be very savvy either. I guess I'm waiting.

Josh said...

Er, I take that back... Methinks I've got it figured out.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Just12Finish said...

Once a runner, always a runner ...

iliketoast said...

sounds like a great move

Sarah said...

That's great! Glad to hear you're getting out there again with a race on the horizon. Even walking, you've got that competitive spirit!

IHateToast said...

ooooh, i know i know i know i know i know i knoooooow!

i cracked your co-ode!

i know what it ih-izz!

Anne said...

That was a wonderful gesture on your husband's part. I think he must know what you're going through. And, walking is a great substitute for running during the first two-plus trimesters. Have a good time at your race and make sure folks know you're running for two.

Nicole said...

OMG that is so awesome! The baby will have its first race before being born that is great!

Kurt said...

Glad your out the door. walking or running it doesn't matter.

I know it is a boy and you have named it after me. Of course don't go with slothman is my recommendation. Kurt works just fine.

Danielle said...

Well, I have a guess...but will have to wait till you blog about it. I'm thinking opposite to what one of my friends is having soon...:)

That is very, very sweet of your hubby. There aren't that many guys that would think to go that far. Many would be helpful saying yes, that's great, but to register you and push you out the door...that's even better than my water support I think...or at least tied, but you guys have been together much longer!

Sarah Elaine said...

That's one supportive hubby you've got there.

It'll make you feel better to have a goal in mind - even if you do have to walk it. Just think of it as the first running event that you and Newest Little One are doing together...

I'm lousy at guessing games... So I'm just going to call him / her Little Runner in the making.