I think I'm a fairly distracted individual most of the time - sorta scatterbrained - maybe just so busy most of the time it's hard to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing or where I'm supposed to be going from one moment to the next. I think about blogging a lot. I'm a thinker - pretty deep and intense thoughts run through my head in addition to the distracted chaos. I'm constantly thinking about things to blog about . . . interesting topics, tidbits from my day, things I think about on my runs. But then when I sit to write, the ideas never seem as grand. The tidbits seem trivial. I can't focus to write something eloquent like I want to do. And yet - I still feel like I have so much to say most of the time - or so much to write, I guess. We even use the term 'blogworthy' around the house a lot - things that come up that are funny or amazing that seem important enough to blog about - like the crab that came home last week from Pike Place Market - damn it was good!
While I was running today, I was thinking about all this - thinking about all the things I think about and wishing I could write about them and have it all sound the way I want. Really wishing that I could figure out exactly what it is I want to write about. And I think somewhere in there, I discovered my issue. It isn't just one profound thing I want to say - it's way too many profound things.
I live in a world with so much going on all the time - and I don't want to miss anything, or forget anything, or take anything for granted. I want to take it all in and do something with it all. It's an impossible idea. Sometimes I think about what I want to be when I grow up, but I have a hard time choosing between too many options because I want to try everything. This whole idea is the basic underlying theme of why I'm a runner - why I love to be a runner. I get to see and hear and feel and experience and think and process and have pain and euphoria and emotion all at the same time. It's a powerful thing.
Some days, I like to watch the world around me when I'm running. Today was one of those days. I think I'd like to call it a little bit of life. I passed some people staring off at the ground - seemingly grumpy at the day. I saw parents with strollers out for companionship. There was a couple on the beach picking up seashells. Lots of people were out walking their dogs - the dogs sniffing at meeting one another. There was an otter swimming just off shore - he dove under and I never could see where he came up again. The harbor seals were out barking on the bouy. I passed several pieces of dead crabs that the seagulls were apparently through with, and a couple of fishermen on a pier. Several scuba divers were heading out with their air tanks, and dressed head to toe with all kinds of equipment. I watched people heading into a fancy restaurant, meeting for an early lunch. The tide was really high - but it isn't a full moon - interesting to note. I ran along the sand and let the waves chase me as I zigzagged my way across the beach. Tankers were coming into the bay - ferries were heading out. A little old man stopped me and asked me how to get to the park - he was about 3 miles away, so it was a long description and a good chat. We talked about the park, and about his previous bike ride in the area, and about his friend at an appointment . . . sorta funny when you just strike up a conversation with a person but sorta what makes the world go 'round too. It was a really grey cloudy morning - pretty typical where I live from now until next spring. The kind of day in the kind of place where seasonal depression is common and staying in bed under the covers seems preferable to venturing out into the day.
But out on that run, it wasn't just that all of this stuff was occurring around me, but it was having an effect on me as I processed it all. It was sparking my thoughts, forming my opinions, shaping my ideas . . and that's the way life works - if you let it. Some people - like the first people I saw when I was running - seem to shut it all out and tend to only look within. But . . . when you open up your eyes and take notice of what's around you, amazing things happen. You open yourself up to a connection with the world and the people and things that it's full of. There's so much out there, that it really is impossible to take it all in, but why not get as much as you can from it? Take notice.