Reality Check

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

2010-06-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

Seriously? It's been over a year since I wrote? And I think about it daily? I've fallen a little short on personal goals. Since May 2009, I've PR'd in a marathon, and lived a life with four kids. Rock n Roll Seattle was June 2009, and I ran a 3:24. I've run 12 marathons in 17 years, and that was my fastest. Today was Rock n Roll 2010. My husband ran, and I spectated. I had a blast, but I'm so jealous. I think more than anything, I really want the bright green shirt. I swore I wouldn't run another marathon this year. I ran the Sunflower in May, and Newport in June - both without training. A little silly, but I learned a lot about my capabilities. I'd like to focus on training for an early fall 10K, and trying to PR. I don't think that in my 30 years of running, I've ever really trained for a 10K. Funny, 30 years of running. I'll be 40 next month, and I've been running since I was 10. My kids are 2, 9, 12, and 14. They're all runners. (The little one just doesn't know it yet.) The 9-yr-old set a city-wide record for her 4x100 relay this spring. The 12 and 14 yr olds went to the city meet for middle school, and the oldest is training for cross-country season this fall. My husband ran a marathon today (his first since his Ironman last summer), and is paddling 12 miles tomorrow as part of a multi-sport relay. A 10K for me at the end of summer seems sort of trivial. In the last month, with 4 kids, I've been camping three times, there's been BMX racing, track finals, ice-skating performance, Spring music concert, 8th grade graduation . . . and then just the day to day preschool, cooking dinner, shuttling to and fro, laundry, etc. So, again, just a 10K in the fall? Maybe I ought to run a half marathon shortly after. It was a huge high to get up at 5:30 the other day because my 14-yr-old requested to go for a run in the early morning. The northwest is cloudy, cloudy, and then cloudy. This time of year when it's suddenly sunny and it's light from 5 am til 10 pm, you take advantage of anything you can get. My kids are out of school until September. Think of all that time I can train. I can take the kids to the track, I can go solo at sunrise, I can do an afternoon run at the beach and follow it up with a dip in the lake . .

I love running. I hope to love it until the day that I exist no longer on this planet. But I love writing too. How on earth have I thought about it and plotted and planned it day after day, and never really accomplished it? Perhaps because I'm more busy than I'll admit. I feel like I'm superhuman and I can do it all. Dinner has been prepped, served and cleaned up. The 14-yr-old is in the kitchen baking a gluten-free cake, the 12-yr-old has accomplished putting a new ring-tone on her mother's phone, and is busy on the internet, the marathoner is asleep on the recliner (perhaps I shouldn't have fed him the second beer). The 9-yr-old has plugged the 2-yr-old into a Sesame street video from the library. I'm sure there's some laundry to do, or some food prep for my long day tomorrow to and from the paddle event with kids in tow. But it's been fun to steal a moment for a few random words.

How do they do it in NYC?

2009-05-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

I love everything about New York. I've never been there, but that doesn't matter. I'll get there. I love the city, I love the culture, I love the people. I love the idea that when you live in the city it doesn't make sense to have a car. I can envision walking to the market, the park down the street, and taking the dog around the block. It makes so much sense to live close enough to all of your needs - to get everything done in a familiar circuit.

But then I thought about it today . . . I live out of my car, in the figurative sorta way.

My 'trip to the market' requires a weekly menu plan, list-making, coupon clipping, a drive across town to the bargain market, the next town over for my specialty items, and across the bridge to the produce market. Toddler in tow, grocery bags, diaper bag . . .

Then I add a run into my day - which brings up issues of the baby jogger, the rain fly, blankets, dry clothes if I'm grocery shopping, mapping a park route via the grocery trip that has swings and walking space for the jogger-rider.

At this rate, I'll be gone so long, I'll need to pack a snack and water for myself and a lunch for the little guy, and consider time for a diaper change. So, in all of this, my car shuttled my kids to school, carried ten bags of groceries (we eat a lot), transported the jogger and all my gear, became a snack table, and later a changing table and a dressing room (with some clean-up both times).

I run in some amazing places with the little guy napping in his jogger. We did ten rainy miles today on a paved park path along the lakeshore. Evergreens dripping down from way up high, woodpeckers in the trees - and hardly a soul out and about. And we made two grocery stops. And ate in the car. I just don't get how they do all that in New York. I think I'm enamored of it all somehow because it seems so simple. But maybe I'd miss all of my planning and complexity and my adventures.

Fitting in the outdoors

2009-04-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

Sunday came and went. I was out the door at sunrise. My favorite run skirts the water of Elliot Bay as it heads 15 miles north. I love the city and how much life goes on within it. All in one run was a whole lifetime of observation. I started out tiptoeing past the sleepers under the bridge. I ran through the industrial area and gawked in awe of the size of the port, the railroad, the freeways, and the metropolitan skyrises looming ahead. The waterfront was a bustle of activity with sidewalks being hosed off, people leaving a shelter to exist somewhere else in the daytime, those dragging luggage for the boat to Canada, and the first cruise ship of the season sailing into port. Then my hill. It may not be the steepest in the city, but starts out as a hefty incline, and continues three miles to the biggest park in the city. And those three miles reward me with sweeping views of the sound, the marina below, the tankers, the islands . . . but really I like looking at where I started out across the bay and how high up I've come from the water below, knowing I ran up that high and that far from home. I can actually see it simultaneously. There are very few people out this early. Not even the gardeners getting started on the lawns of these expertly manicured grand homes in the neighborhood. The park brings me more views - further west and north, rabbits, birds, sandy trails, open fields - then into the woods with tall trees and switchbacks. You can zigzag so fast it becomes a game. I run down down down out of the park to the locks and watch for boats and salmon and heron that live nearby. My last couple of miles are along the bike trail and through the marina full of sails waiting to be taken for a ride. And then the golden park. Golden Gardens really is it's name. Sandy beaches galore. But golden for me, because my husband has arrived. While I've been running . . . he's gotten four kids up and out the door with cocoa, stopped at the bagel shop, and brought me warm clothes and a couple of recovery drinks.

What does one do next in this scenario? My husband took off for his point-to-point run - today that was 12 miles east. The kids and I dug in the sand, watched trains, found statues, found a troll, leapfrogged through town and took the dog for a swim at the dog park on the lake where my husband's run ended. We were all home in good time before lunch.

Spring Break in Seattle

2009-04-01T23:14:00.000-07:00

Rainy Seattle isn't really anyone's idea of a spring break location but sometimes in life you just don't get to do the choosing.

My family is all sick except me and the one who is attending three different sleepovers in four days. My marathon training plans were going great. I visualize the event every single day and I get so excited just thinking about it. I even had it all planned out with the kids home all week from school. One day I'd put three on bikes and one in the jogger and go to the locks and ride out a trail to the park. Another day I could do Greenlake and the zoo. I'd get my runs in, the kids would get out, and the little one would get his nap in the jogger. That was all before the sore throats, stuffy noses, headaches, fevers and doctor visits. I didn't even run at all today and my weekly mileage is totally screwed.

Yesterday I reached burnout by late afternoon. My run had never transpired. The cool planned outing with kids never happened. The toddler never got a nap all day. I spent hours grocery shopping at three different stores with sick kids and accomplished nothing more. Nothing tries my patience more than sick kids. Somehow all of a sudden they become so helpless and I feel overstretched and want a break. So much for the satisfaction of being a stay-at-home mom. I made coffee at 4:00, knowing it'd keep me up late, but not caring because I was so tired and cranky. I even decided it was late enough in my day and turned it into a coffee cocktail. Most delicious. I started dinner and chalked it all up to just another day - tomorrow would be different. After my husband arrived home, I calculated how much time I had until he had to leave for a meeting, and thought . . . just maybe . . .

I pulled on some running clothes, grabbed my music and headed out the door. I sorta wondered if that cocktail I had earlier is how crazy runners train for those pub crawls. Sometimes, though, you just have to take the opportunity when you have it. Evening is a weird time of day to run for me - I do the day thing with the baby in the jogger and he does his nap thing. My run was so different it was amazing. I ran hard and fast - it's amazing how different it feels when you aren't pushing a jogger with a baby wearing ten layers of clothes and blankets and the rain fly.

I ran the same place I probably run 3 or 4 days a week, but at twilight nothing seemed the same. There was this one moment where I looked all around me and thought about my camera. It seemed ironic to me that the camera is broken. Almost as if it were a silent message to me to forget the tool and just open my eyes and take a look around and something I might miss.

I could look out across the bay to the city skyline as the lights were just beginning to twinkle. The sky beyond was dark and grey, but the mirrored buildings reflected the last bits of light from the fading day. A waterfront restaurant was all aglow in colorful holidayish lights that made it look like a magical wonderland. A couple of eagles flew overhead and I watched one soar up to the nest high in the trees. While I was looking up, I almost tripped over the geese scurrying across the path trying to stay out of my way. I stopped and noticed the babies. Finally. The baby geese - goslings if you prefer. To me, that and the sweet cherry blossoms signal spring around here. The winter has been unseasonably cold and wet, and today at the beginning of April it was snowing - like a sick April Fool's joke. But there were the tiniest of geese all huddled together hustling around with mom and dad. It doesn't last long. The smallness, the fragility, the clinginess. It's all a necessary part of an amazing process. It made me re-evaluate my little ones and not so little ones at home feeling needy. Some days are hard, but they're worth it.

I love my family. I love running. And I love when winter is over.

Passion for Writing

2009-03-22T21:26:00.001-07:00

I opened my blog and discovered with shock the last date in November. And the pics of Jackson are from a lifetime ago - now he runs around and climbs up the shelves. The truth is, I think about writing every day. I want to be a writer. I think I am a writer. How can that be when I'm not writing? Facebook drives me crazy because every time I post something I feel the need to explain myself and write a long description - but that defeats the whole purpose of Facebook.

So I'm asking myself how I am a writer if I'm not writing. I want to publish something. I've had countless people tell me throughout time that I am a skilled writer. Someone even said once that I missed my calling as a writer. Missed it? I'm not old. You're never too old for anything. I think my mind lives and breathes writing. I'm a little rusty - in fact I'm just spitting stuff out right now as it pops in and out of my head and it's really disorganized. I hate that. I think that prevents me from writing. I have a little obsessiveness and feel the need for it to be perfect from the start. I want it clean and pretty. I want my words to flow with wisdom and affect the reader in ways I can't begin to imagine.

Throughout my day I think as if I'm writing. I think of titles and topics and subcategories and who my audience is or can be. I consider the introductions and the chapters and funny tales and the time I'll spend writing. And then for some reason, I don't write. Like I said, I think it's a perfectionism thing. I feel like I have to have a plan and a publisher and the topic and the done deal before I start. People tell me, "no, no - you just need to write . . and write and write - it'll happen for you." Sorta the 'if you build it, they will come' theory. So this is my giving in. I'm writing and it's not perfect and it drives me nuts. It's like the free writes I learned in 8th grade when we had a time limit and kept our pencils constantly on the paper or we had to fill the page.

I'm not sure if I want to write about running and my latest marathon training or what my plans are for dinner this week or my adventures with my kids in the rain. I think it's wrapped up in all of that somewhere, but that's all I can figure for now. It'll have to evolve when I'm ready - tomorrow or next year. It'll figure out it's topics and it's readers. It'll develop it's own voice and place in this crazy cyber world. It'll seek out it's dreams of columns or articles in some published format. It'll find friends and groups and lectures. But for now, the writing just is.

weather

2008-11-24T22:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if it's just me, or a part of me that is exaggerated a little more than others, but I have a thing with the weather. I think I mentioned recently that it isn't wise to get me started about the national hurricane center. Well, the Atlantic hurricane season is drawing to a close. I suppose I could discuss my obsession with the sites I have bookmarked with the northern Aurora forecasts. I don't live in Alaska, but I've seen them from here and they are truly an other-world experience. It really isn't peak aurora season here either, though. What's really funny, is that where I live, it's gonna be cloudy with a chance of rain, 90 percent of the time, for the next six months. I have no idea why I'm obsessed with the weather. The tides fascinate me. Trying to decipher whether it is going in or going out at first glance is a subject of pride with me. I figure I run along the beach often enough that I ought to know. Some of my favorite runs have been the ability to sneak along the 'never trodden upon' sand at really low tide. It's a little challenging lately with the baby jogger. But the other day we (the baby in the jogger and I) played hide and seek with a harbor seal for a good mile or two from the seawall, so it was okay that I wasn't on the sand. But I'm digressing from the weather.

It's November. For the next four months I will hope for snow. Otherwise it will be cloudy with a chance of meatballs as it hovers near forty degrees day and night. It is so damp here that I have a de-humidifier running in my home several hours a day. But back to snow. This morning it was 32 degrees when I awoke. And unlike the rest of the world that uses a metric thermometer, 32 degrees here is freezing. But no snow today. Just a life-altering sunrise.

I used to try to decide if I was a sunrise or a sunset person, and never came to a concrete conclusion. Until today. When I pulled up the blinds, the sky was still dark on the eastern horizon, with a hint of light from the impending sunrise. The moon was but a sliver of silver with a shadow of it's better half. I sat with my hands glued to my ceramic coffee mug hoping the heat transfer would tame the chill of early morning. And as I sat, the night turned to day. The moon began to fade against the sky as a pink glow emerged. Mount Rainier appeared in all of its glory as a silhouette against a painting in transformation. Clouds slowly formed in pattern to celebrate the light as the pink turned to a fluorescence. I have no idea how long I watched, transfixed by the show, until it became a yellowish light and the day had begun. The vision, though, carried me throughout my day and somehow uplifted me every time I remembered it - like it had been a promise of the day to come and a celebration of my every moment.

I wish I could share a photograph - but maybe I just did. And I just decided that I'm a sunrise person. Although, sunsets can be pretty amazing - reflecting back in thanks on all that has been.

But now, I have to check the forecast, for tomorrow . . . I get to travel over the mountains and oh so hope that I will get to glimpse some snow.

Tech Savvy - keep up!

2008-11-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

I can't keep up. It still amazes me that my 93 year old grandmother (who died a few years back) was trying to understand email. Trying. Blogging evolves too quickly to begin with, now there's twitter and facebook and linkedIn . . holy moly. I'm lucky when the laundry is washed (mind you - I didn't say folded), there is food in the house to eat (and mind you again, I didn't say cooked or prepared or on the table), and especially when I get a run in.

It's crazy how some people are doing it all - they're texting all day, and they're on facebook, and they're twittering and they're keeping up with a blog. I don't know if it's the time it takes to do it all that gets me, or the time it takes to try and understand it all. The time to actually maintain your own stuff is monumental, but then to check and respond to everyone else's stuff is a whole other agenda entirely. But I suppose it's connecting people. And that length of time that I can type a blog or read someone's wall on facebook and connect - would take me so much more time and money without the technology. It really is an amazing thing - this interconnectedness.

Our oldest wants a facebook account for her upcoming birthday that will officially mark her entrance into teenhood. She just wants it so she can build a city on the site. Most of her friends don't know a thing about facebook - yet. She has a blog. Some kids her age are into that - but it takes time and dedication. She has an email address. She has a cell phone. She chats with her friends online, but her phone is merely a tool for emergencies and important endeavors.

Our second oldest is 11. She has an email address. That's it. But she can use skype and have videoconferences with her friend in Australia. How cool is that.

The youngest two - they see the computer as a toy and cell phones for talking to family. That's the way it should be. Let them play a little and then go outside and play in nature.

I was gonna say - 'go outside and play in the real world' but I stopped myself. This . . . internet, chat, cell phones, facebook, blogs, twitter - it is the real world. Today it is. And I'm trying to keep up. And I'm trying to educate my kids to keep up according to their age, but yet to instill in them that there is still a physical world right outside the front door. It's not in the computer. Somehow I'm learning there is a balance.

Aahh, yes - and baby pictures. Although, truly, because he's walking everywhere, he's now graduated from babyhood to the land of toddlers.

April

May

June

July

August

September

The Sun That Won't Stop

2008-10-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

How funny that it was raining when I wrote last. It seems like October has been sunny every single day. I always razz my brother about the weather in October. He says his birthday during the month is the most beautiful day of the year - we share our love of the fall and all of the things it entails, including colorful running weather with the leaves crunching underfoot and that crisp feeling in the air with the bright blue sky. I complained to him that after his special day, the weather was gonna sour and it'd be all his fault. Somehow it turned even more orange and golden outside. Usually around here it's just rainy and windy and the leaves all fall off.

I took little Jack outside today. Not really to the park, but there was a park involved - some swings and some stairs to climb up to the slide. Every time he swings forward he closes his eyes to the wind that gushes toward his face. And he laughs at the rush of it all. The stairs - he has learned to climb those with his little legs, although he'd rather climb up the slide itself. But the most fun he had was not at the playground, but at the beach. For, you see, someone nearby was feeding the seagulls, which meant there were many around. And they were so much fun to chase. The clever monkey learned to walk a couple of weeks ago, but he can go faster on all fours. He simply couldn't figure out why the seagulls would fly away when he got near.

My day is so taken up with I have no idea what, that I sometimes forget that I never even considered going for a run. But then - there was my grand accident to consider. My lovely fall after my dizzy spells. It sounds grand, but really - I fell on my butt and I've never had a little whoopsiedaisy become so debilitating. It was 3 weeks ago, and I think I might be able to run. I can stand on one foot when I put on my socks - and that's recent progress. Sitting comfortably is getting easier. And my dizzy thing was a bad relationship I had with my friend the pump. Super Jack is now on formula and happy as can be. Maybe I'll try to run tomorrow. Or at least go for a walk.

After all, I have cooking to do. I'll be busy. I cooked a pumpkin tonight and I have to puree it and turn it into gluten free pumpkin spice cake with an apple glaze. The kids need treats for their lunches, don't they? And the weather really is supposed to turn yucky and little Jack and I will need an excuse to stay inside and play - until I find him some rain boots . .

Where Am I?

2008-10-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile and I soo miss blogging. I've been anonymously reading once in a while, but when I have a free moment I'm usually busy being the chef and chauffeur and activity planner of the household. I thought when the girls started school it'd be so easy to transition back into running and blogging. It's happening, but it's so so so slow. Progress was great until the baby decided to wean himself cold turkey and then I got sick, and two family members were out of town. Crazy September. Now it's October and it's raining. Fitting for Seattle. All the talk around here is about Halloween costumes - so far it's a vampire, an alien, a witch? I think, and baby Jack-Jack from The Incredibles. I'm gonna dress up as a chef, a chauffeur and an activity planner.

Time has flown by so fast with this little munchkin - I can't believe he's 10 months old already! He's on the back patio - asleep in the rain in his baby jogger - (complete with the rain fly of course.) All the talk around here lately is the next big race - but it's not mine. It's the mighty Ironman my husband registered for. How cool. I'm totally in awe of the ironman and so impressed with his new endeavor. I want to marathon train some more, but I keep pushing out my goal race. I have some flexible plans in my head, but I just want to be consistently training for a while before I commit.

Other than running and all things baby, my focus has been on gluten free blogs a lot lately. I've thought of writing about cooking instead of running, but I enjoy reading about cooking and then playing in my kitchen. We (our family of six) eat primarily gluten and dairy-free in our house so it's always exciting to discover new ideas. Our twelve-year-old has a passion for cooking and is becoming quite the talent in the kitchen. She's taking two cooking classes concurrently. What a hoot. My other fascination is the national hurricane center - I can't get enough - I shouldn't even get started.

Running used to bring me quiet alone time that transpired into all sorts of writing. Now it brings me a flat course, the baby in the baby jogger with the rain fly and diapers and a bottle and the snack cup with the tight lid and the blankie . . .
Katy is all pissy at me - she didn't tell me, she pops off to my hubby about me - because I haven't been blogging. She's so funny. And I've had some other emails about where I've been. So, I'm here. Not at my computer with the new quiet keyboard, but in the kitchen with the laptop so I can see the baby on the patio. It's always about the baby. Maybe I'll post some pictures soon - Jackson with his 8 teeth and his almost walking feet. And guess who just woke up? Later.

Teetering on the Edge

2008-05-16T17:08:00.000-07:00

teetering on the edge of what? insanity mostly. hang on - gotta put on my new reading glasses. I'm teetering on the edge of getting old and I have too many kids. I think I'm up to four - not sure - there's always a different number running through the house. teetering on the edge of being a runner. some weeks i run, some weeks I don't get it in. I'm not sure about that fall marathon I've been dreaming about, and I'm gonna have to leave it at that. I ran today. I put on my running shoes and made it through the entire zoo with baby and jogger in tow, in under two hours. I can NEVER accomplish that with the older kids. Then I left my car parked and walked to the lake, ran around the lake, and walked back. Three hours in all with that jogger. That's because it's sunny in the city and it brings people out. Teetering on the edge of summer. It's hot out today, the cruise ships are back and the geese have had their babies. That's how I can tell. Jackson's teetering on the edge of everything. He got two teeth this week and learned to roll over. He's on the verge of sitting up, and that would be most excellent. I'd love to let him sit and play with his toys and not always pack him around. My back would really appreciate it. He's getting so big - 5 months already - and he's already been camping in a yurt and dipped his barefeet in the sand down at the beach. Teetering on the edge of summer was that camping in a yurt. I can't wait 'til real summer and camping outside. Only two short trips planned - not including the cabin and the kids school camps. Short because we're not sure how Jack-Jack will handle a long ride in the car. And I don't get to overnight on the kids' school trips because I'm still attached to a nursing baby and he might keep little campers up at night. Teetering on the edge of writing and being a blogger. I wrote a cool post on Mother's Day. Wrote is the key word there - I never typed it. The clicky keyboard is too close to where the baby sleeps and it seems to wake him up. (the mister says he can get me a quieter one) Thus, lack of writing. When the day is almost through, and I can steal a moment, typing would wake him up and ruin my moment (and his). So I wrote with a writing utenstil and paper with the intent of typing it later. Later never happened. I think about blog post topics all the time - I guess I'll get back into it when it happens. I miss reading blogs and seeing what goes on around the world in everyone else's lives. I think the handwritten post was a lot about the passage of time. Looking back, looking forward, and living in the present. Trying to, at least. With a 12-year old on the verge of teen things (oh, my), a 10-year old who needs a million sports daily to exist properly, a 7-year old who thinks we don't love her anymore (she confessed this to her teacher who told me so), and the little guy who zaps all the energy away. Living in the present is what drives us to insanity. Living in the past brings me laughter and learning and living in the future is the stuff of dreams. Future? Right now I think I oughtta live one day at a time. And just hope in the future that there is cookies and sunshine like today.

Invincibility

2008-03-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in life I have these moments where I feel like I can do anything. It's sort of a euphoric feeling - like I'm on top of the world. Even more than a feeling like the world is out there and I can live in it and do as I please, it's as if I'm one with the energy of the universe and I'm about to accomplish more than my mind can conceive. It's an amazing reflection on the power within.

Everyday isn't like that. I'm working slowly to get back in shape and it isn't always easy with an infant and my family schedule. But it isn't ever easy for anyone, really. It's a lot of where you set your goals and how hard you work to achieve them. And never making excuses. Just accepting life and moving forward with it. Kind of exciting really. Lately I've been thinking about two profound questions. At the beginning of the day - What am I going to get to do today? And at the end of the day - What did I celebrate today? It's all just a little bit of livin'.

The Iditarod started yesterday - and damn if it ain't just a little bit o' that livin'. I think it's the most fascinating study of the human experience that I've ever seen. Check it out.

Tomorrow

2008-02-27T21:23:00.000-08:00

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow . . . " - William Shakespeare
Sometimes I mourn the days gone by and live for the thrill of tomorrow's unknown. It seems to somehow all meld together and go by so fast. One looks forward to the future, but when it's gone, wonders where it all went. Having a new baby has been one of those reminder lessons to live more in the present and enjoy each and every moment. And what would those moments be if you didn't laugh and cry and allow yourself the emotion?

I can tell I'm getting ready to blog again, because I start writing in my head throughout my day. Finding the energy and the time combined is another issue entirely. When my husband walks in the door, home from work, here's a common scenario:

"Hi honey! (baby crying) Can you take him? He's cranky, he needs a diaper change, and I think he just wants to be held - he won't let me put him down. #3 needs help with homework - something's going on with the computer, #2 is mad at me and wants to know if you'll go to the gym to shoot hoops, and #1 is having a pre-teen moment, and will you tell her to turn down her music? Hey honey, when you're done changing his diaper, can you pour me a glass of wine and help me fix dinner?"

That's the reality. I swear it. But at least we can laugh about it. I love my family. I wouldn't change a thing. We just spent some of our tax money on a zoo membership. The river otters are my favorite.

My first sorta run
It was back in early January. We'd just spent a week at the cabin. I watched my husband and kids go x-c skiing, sledding, snowshoeing, iceskating . . . I went for a walk to the end of the street and back, and it made me sore. I didn't feel up to doing all those cool things, I was with the new baby - but I was still sorta bummed. I didn't get to see the kids do all those cool things or be with my husband experiencing it. So the next week we were at home, and it was raining profusely and the kids had been sick and on school vacation. I had to get out of the house. We had a new little stroller and one of the kids had asked Santa for a kickball, and Santa came through. I piled the kids into the car and we drove to a nearby elementary school. The three girls played a game (or 2 or 3) of kickball in the pouring rain, and I hung out in the covered blacktop nearby - baby in stroller, walking laps around the basketball court. It was the highlight of winter break to watch how much fun the girls had, and to be outside. (I think I walked 30 seconds per lap - I had to clock it - some sick internal runner disease.)

My first real run
January 27th. It was sunny. It was a Saturday afternoon. I really had nothing else to do. I had gone for several walks in the previous weeks. My husband convinced me that I should go and that it would be good for me. Baby Jackson was now 7 weeks old and we'd been glued to each other 24/7. I got dressed and ready to go, but then I procrastinated. At this point my husband had to do some persuasive encouraging. I cried (hormones), but my husband convinced me that Jackson would be okay without me. I wasn't gonna be gone very long, and if he fussed, he'd be okay.

It was a great run. I went 29 minutes without stopping. I was only supposed to go 20. But it was sunny and I couldn't resist. The back pain was something outta this world - that whole childbirth thing caused havoc - but who cares when you can go running.

Running last week
I have four kids - somewhere around here. It seems at any given moment I have a combination of three. It's great that I can stuff a jogger and three kids in the car, hitch two bikes to the back, and off we go to the park for a 2 plus mile loop. Everybody gets exercise. The next day was the same, just a new combination of kids. I love the park.

My run two days ago
I'm up to three miles - or supposed to be. I got ambitious and made out a training plan. I really wanted to run that marathon this summer, and believed I'd be ready. And maybe I would have been. But then I remembered that I have this little breastfed baby and it might be cruel to just assume that I can be gone for hours at a time at my own leisure and that he won't get hungry. Sure, I can run a 3-4 hour marathon, but what if I injure myself on the course and it takes me 6? So, I've adjusted to the idea of a fall marathon. Back to those three miles. I was supposed to go Sunday. Oops. So Monday came. Monday morning I had a piece of glass stuck in my foot. I'm not sure where from - I brought in a bike off of the porch on Sunday night - maybe something then - I dunno - no time to inspect it. So there's this glass, and my back was killing me - I tote this baby, who's growing like a weed, around all day and feed him every 2-3 hours in random precarious positions, so my back is really outta whack. I don't think I'd slept much the night before - I don't think he'd slept, so that usually means me too. I didn't want to go running. With this family of 6, two are up and gone to work and school and an early hour. I'm up next to feed one, waken the other two, feed the other two, dress one, encouraging dressing and lunchmaking, etc. By the time I've finally got two more off two school, I have a small window of opportunity before feeding time again.

Sometimes you have to force yourself to get out for your own good - I did run. (I took tweezers in the car, but never managed to get the glass out 'til later that night. Honestly, I just didn't have time.) I imagined my run in my head like one of those credit card commercials:

new mizuno tights for Christmas $70
shiny green i-pod $80
specialized nursing sports bra $75
Ironman BOB babyjogger $375

The opportunity to go run three miles? Priceless.

And to clarify . . . those tights are beautiful - I feel like they're too good for me and that I need to feel faster and fitter to wear them. All things in good time. The i-pod I have turned way down so I can hear the baby if he cries. The sports bra. I gotta say, I tried many a nursing bra, and hated them all. I finally went to a specialty store. I laughed at the idea of a nursing sports bra - like I'm gonna feed the baby while I'm running! But truths to be told: my friend designed it for the company, and it's comfortable and I really do need to feed the baby on the go after a run, and I don't have time to change clothes first. And the amazing BOB was a baby shower gift on Valentine's Day. I think everyone should take one for a test drive.

Now here I am - somehow a runner again - somehow a writer again. And somehow a mommy all over again. But I guess I've been them all along, it's just learning to adapt through change. It was sunny in Seattle today. I hope the sun shines down across the land.

The Story of Jack-Jack

2007-12-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay, I'll post. I'm not sure I'm ready for the blog world yet, but I'll at least put this out there - my husband leaked the news so I'm getting requests for more info.

Have you ever seen the movie The Incredibles? This is Jack-Jack.

Now we have our own Jack-Jack.

Here he is - about 16 hours old - Jackson Ryan - born at 3:08 am, December 7th, and weighing in at 8 pounds 12 oz.

Until a week ago, this cute little girl was our youngest child. And even today, she still got up in the morning and wanted to climb into her daddy's lap and snuggle. She's seven, and wow does she seem like such a big girl all of a sudden when you see her holding her little brother, who was only about 6 hours old in this photo.

But there are details - oh so many. I'll sneak in a few, then I'll sneak in a nap - or two. At 36 weeks I had a dr. appt. 3 days later I was induced, because amniotic fluid was leaking. According to the nurse, you time labor for the amount of time you feel the contractions. The pitocin drip was started at 8:30 pm, but I didn't feel the contractions until 1:00am, and just after 3:00 am, out he came! So, pretty quick and painless. Okay, I complained a little. Maybe a lot. But he's beautiful and amazing and how can you complain when you have this new little life. It's amazing with each new child how much love you discover you have inside. All three of our girls are completely enamored of their new little brother and we're adjusting well. My husband and I are both exhausted - but we're a family of 6 - I guess that's to be expected.

Jackson came home Saturday, but a Sunday blood draw proved his bilirubin to be too high (jaundice). He was put on a double phototherapy light, which, by Monday, was increased to a triple light because the level kept climbing. The combination of the high bilirubin and weight loss (down to 8 lbs, 2 oz) threatened to put him back in the hospital on an IV, but thankfully yesterday he turned a corner - the level dropped and he gained weight - an ounce and a half. It's been frustrating because we're only supposed to take him off the phototherapy to feed and change him. One of the lights can be wrapped in a blanket without the bed, so we sneak in our share of snuggles, but it'll be exciting when it's over, and we can take him out to play and go christmas shopping. For now, we just call him the Glow Bug baby.

Other than looking like he has an infant suntan, he looks pretty content, don't you think? Can you imagine how big he would have been if I carried him to full term?

Now I just have to figure out how to get holiday shopping done, whether or not we can sneak over to the cabin (in our new 4-wheel drive vehicle that fits all of our family into it) to play in the snow for New Year's, and when, oh when, to I get to go for a run . . .

Cheers, and Happy Holidays!

Truths of my current life

2007-09-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

Until today, it's been over a month since I read anybody's blog or wrote one of my own. That sounds sorta like an AA meeting confession.
I ate 4 chocolate chip cookies for snack this morning and felt guilty about the one I put back in lieu of a chewier looking one.
I ran a 5k a week ago in 28:01. I think it's my slowest time ever. And I loved it.
Our seven-year-old completed her first triathlon last month. She was hysterical at the water start and tried climbing up me as if I were a beanpole, to escape. Her big sister and I held her hands and waded through the water to the other shore. She never stopped screaming until she was out of the water. But you should've seen the smile on her fast as she sped down the hill on her bike, amidst all of the volunteers telling her to slow down. I wasn't sure she knew how - she just learned to ride a bike, and didn't know how to ride up the hills.
I drove to four different libraries to pick up books yesterday, and went to the bookstore. I went to the same bookstore again today.
The first week of school, the bus our 6th grader rides never showed up. She was nearly an hour late to school all week by the time I got her there.
Our fourth-grader's class is going here on a field trip friday. The last time her older sister went on this trip with the same teacher, they were instructed to stop in the middle and stand silently to just listen and exist for a moment. Right then someone farted and it's always been our daughter's favorite part of the trip.
I got no sleep last night. There was sporadic mysterious beeping from somewhere in my bedroom that kept waking me up. When I'd finallly get up to investigate, it would stop. Sometime around 4 am, I discovered it: my seven-year-old used my bathroom to brush her teeth last night, waaaaay overran the water, and let the sink fill up. It slowly drained all night, at times overloading the pipes. The leaky pipe dripped below into a basket of first aid supplies. As it dripped onto the digital thermometer, it caused it to go haywire. It's drying on the counter.
I still have three more months to be pregnant. He already moves around all the time and I rarely get any rest. We still vacillate over name choices. December 13th would be a great day to have a baby, but it's not my due date.
But yesterday I discovered I can cut my Tums intake in half because I bought papaya enzymes.
I bought clipboards today for two of our kids to do homework in the car while I shuttle the third home through rush-hour traffic from the other side of the city after soccer practice.
I fixed boxed mac&cheese for dinner last night. It was horrible. I'm going to Costco today to pick up some popcorn chicken for tonight's dinner. It might be horrible too.
Our seven-year-old triathlete just started swimming lessons and loves them with a passion. Go figure. Did I mention the triathlon swim was in salt water?
Our nine year old girl is having a birthday this Saturday. She has a soccer game. For her birthday she really wants a skateboard. Sunday she's taking her friends to play laser tag.
Our dog brought all three of her new tennis balls out the kitchen at 7:00 this morning, one at a time, in hopes that someone would take her out to play fetch. She had no success.
I just ate two more cookies, and I think I need a nap.

Ramble Time

2007-08-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

Ramble time sounds like rumble time - what is that, big time wrestling or nascar? That's how my brain works when I'm pregnant. I can't think of anything and I'm totally dyslexic when it comes to typing.

So, my intent was a couple of topics. But . . . my 11-yr-old has taken to sitting here staring at me while I type, so I'm rather distracted. That's what it's like being a stay-at-home mom with kids at home all summer. I try to keep them occupied, but . . . We did go listen to a band downtown today - the Paperboys - they were pretty decent, and you can't beat free. We even went to a raptor program at the library and rode city buses. She's still sitting here staring at me, though. Now you understand if I haven't visited your blog lately, because I can filter mine while I type, but I can't necessarily filter anyone else's while I read with her sitting here.

So, I'm ready for summer to end. The weather has gotten cloudy. I live in Seattle, go figure. We're done with vacations for the most part. My husband finished his 6-month long training goal and completed a half ironman last weekend. It was truly inspirational. He had a great swim and a great bike, then had some back cramping/spasm issues that required him to walk the remainder of the run course in order to finish, and finish he still did. My youngest and I (and the dog) wandered around the corner, out about 200 meters from the finish line, where finishers couldn't see how close the finish was. It was fun to talk with (at) the people coming in and see the realization on their faces when they learned they were almost through with a half ironman. My husband didn't even seemed phased by what I thought would be physical exhaustion - we went back and continued camping when he was done. He spent no time contemplating what his next event will be. I think he's becoming an addict.

And then there's still this baby thing. I felt great for a month or so, now I'm starting to feel yucky again. C'est lavie. I did something interesting this morning. I checked out gender prediction using the chinese lunar calendar. I've done it before - checked it against our other kids, and thought it only got 2 out of 3. But I did it again. It factors in the mother's age at conception, and the month the baby was conceived. It predicts all three of our girls correctly. So I checked for this baby. The supposed conception date, according to the doctor, is the first week of April. Two different ultrasounds have dated the baby about 10 days older, giving it a supposed conception date of late March - but the doctor says the ultrasound people are always a week off. When you look at the prediction chart - conceived in April gives you a girl, conceived in March gives you a boy.

In order to have been savvy and figured out the gender before now, you would have needed only to view my husband's blog - he tells it straight out.

But there's another interesting side to my story - The Sound of Music. That's right - the movie. You have to have seen it some time in your life. Here I go on a long tangent . . .

For complicated reasons, my husband did not know his grandmother, Anna, until he was an adult. However we were fortunate to have several visits with her and hear her tell stories in her heavy german accent before she passed away. She and her husband lived during the holocaust in Germany. Her husband was a pilot in the german army. Anna was a concert pianist and even played for Hitler. They didn't agree with Hitler and his agenda. When she was supposed to cursty for him, she bowed instead. They had five children - 1 girl and 4 boys - the youngest being my husband's father. I don't know all the details of their heroic journey - but that they really did escape over the mountains. Anna, alone with all 5 children. (Her husband joined her in the United States at a later time.) She was nursing her youngest child and so was another woman on a train along their route. This other woman could no longer provide milk, and Anna helped feed the baby to keep it alive. There were other tales of favors to the german soldiers somewhere along the early parts of the trip to help get herself and her children to where they could be safe. She was an amazing lady - very strong-willed.

So, this family with five children made it to the United States, and the children grew up. Two of them got married, only one had children. Fast forward to today, and only one of those five children is still alive, and not in good health. But the one that had two children - there was a boy and girl. The female has had surgery and will never have children. The male - he's my husband. To date, we've had three girls. So, if you've been able to follow all that . . . you look at the family legacy of all of that - the challenges that were overcome climbing the alps and keeping children alive to give them a chance at a new life and the future - and the future of a family. And then if you're like my husband and me, and you look at old-fashioned traditions of carrying on the family name . . .

. . . it's sort of ironic that the ultrasound dating seems to be the correct one. Not only does it date the baby to have been conceived in March, but we saw some pretty good visuals of a baby boy inside there. There is that minute chance that it's wrong, but we're pretty sure, against all odds, that it's a BOY!

And now, my three girls brought the dollhouse and ALL of its accessories out into the living room and it's time for me to provide afternoon snack, consider dinner plans, fold laundry, and fall asleep on the couch by 7:00.

it's all because i used my voice

2007-08-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

I don't often give myself priority in my world. I'm a stay-at-home mom with three (plus) kids. I'm not saying it's the right thing to do - lack of priority. It's just what happens. I get so busy meeting the needs of little munchkins that I give myself a back seat, and if there isn't time left over, so be it. It's usually when I get cranky and resentful that I get reminded that I need to do something for me - take care of me - give myself that priority. So when I haven't been running these last three and a half months (yes, I've been counting - there has been one day since April 16th), I seem to have even less of 'something' for me. Then you couple that with pregnancy and not feeling good and having to take care of the creature in my belly - I just get completely overwhelmed. But instead of getting resentful and cranky - after all, I really do get to play a lot, who could get mad about that - I used my voice, and told my husband something that I wanted for me.

Whew! I could've said all that in one sentence.

I was lying down last night in a dark room, writhing in pain with a headache - a bad one that pregnancy and sunny summer days with a glare on the water don't seem to help. My husband was doing some work on the computer in the other room. I randomly called out, "Can I do a race next month?" And really, instead of immediately responding with a clear answer, five minutes later he was asking what shirt size I wanted while he was finishing up registration online. And there you have it. I laid there, dumbfounded, and told him how many days I have to train. He tried to convince my that it's a short one, and that I could do it in my sleep, but although I'd like to think that I can, it's not gonna be so easy.

Today he woke me up at sunrise and somehow got me out the door. This is the pregnant mommy who's been sleeping in 'til 9:00, now getting out at 6:00. I can't believe I've been missing all of those summer sunrises. It was beautiful out and I got in two miles. I could lie to you and tell you that I went for a run, did even tempo, hillwork, and had some competition. The reality? I actually walked the entire two miles, my tempo was precisely even - 16 minute pace, there was a hill on the way home from the track, and I tried to speed up when the guy running laps went past me. But it was great to be out there. I think I might need a girdle or something for my ever-expading stomach and my running shorts are a little tight. Oh, well. If I have to walk that whole race next month, so be it.

So, I learned to use my voice and say what I wanted for me. I forgot that my husband always listens. I also learned this morning that part of that voice is wrapped up in my running (or walking). It's that time when all of my thoughts and intentions are for me. And when I write in my blog, it's all of my thoughts and intentions that come out and that's a good thing. It's priority for me. And really, the reason I'm currently getting that writing time is because all of my little computer users are still asleep. The early bird catches the worm, you know.

And . . . we found out what sex the baby is. But that's incentive for a whole other blog post. Unless you're savvy and you figure out how to cheat and get the information sooner. :)

Learning

2007-07-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'm always amazed at how much fun can be packed into summertime in the Northwest. We've picked berries, wriggled our toes in the sand at low tide, gone camping, and been for a dip in the lake and in the river. We've seen outdoor theatre in the park, listened to summer concerts downtown, been to the library and read many books. We've taken the kids hiking, bike riding, horseback riding, swimming . . we've been to triathlons, street festivals, tea parties, played with friends . . .

. . . and there's still so much more of the season to be lived. We had a picnic dinner tonight for my birthday and went for a beautiful walk along the bluffs above Puget Sound. (My birthday is actually this weekend, but we're headed out of town for a triathlon, so I get an extended celebration :)

A couple of really cool things have happened recently. Our 6-yr-old, the youngest of three girls, has always been our 'baby'. But she's growing up. Her timing couldn't be better, either, with a new sibling coming along. She's learning all kinds of things that are giving her huge confidence. This spring she took off in reading and is now really into chapter books. While we were camping a couple of weeks ago, she learned to get over her fear of water. She isn't lap swimming yet, but she is having a lot more fun at the beach. Last summer we tried to get her bike riding, but she didn't show a lot of interest. So we tried again this week. It took some diligence on our part, but she was sooo excited to finally 'get it' and be able to ride with her sisters. The very same day she learned a very different skill. She's always been talented when it comes to art - really takes us by surprise. This new piece left us in true amazement:

Yep. The back of our PT Cruiser, nicely done is white on navy rock scratch. The clean slate before it was etched upon used to look more like this:

She thought it would rub off like when you write in the dust with your finger. No such luck. For comic relief, we've come up with many things she could have etched on instead of a smiley face. I guess we got lucky. We have a nice message to display to all those people who drive on the road behind us. Her birthday is next month. Instead of some colored pencils and paper, or some new paints and white canvas, we were thinking . . . maybe we'll just head over to the junkyard and buy her a door with a sharp rock collection to go with it.

(Ironically, the car has a dead battery. It happens. It's a car. Grown-ups understand this. ) When the child was confronted and asked why she would do such a thing to the car, she responded, "But the battery is dead, I didn't think you wanted it anymore." A true child of the new millenium - if the batteries don't work, it has no worth. Perhaps we'll do some learning on rechargeable batteries.

"From wonder into wonder, existence opens." - Lao Tzu

2007-07-16T14:29:00.000-07:00

Life is a road map.

It's a big broad picture with shapes and lines and colors. Sometimes it has a key to decipher it, sometimes you're on your own. Whatever happens, you find yourself travelling down a road. It might be a many-laned freeway with frequent travellers all headed in the same direction. Maybe you end up on a dusty, bumpy, country lane with no signs and not an intersection in sight. Sometimes your sense of direction carries you to the destination you had in mind. Other times you feel lost amidst a myriad of intersections in a busy city. You can make frequent stops at the greenspace labeled, 'park', or many passes along the lakeshore to admire the view. Days can go by sitting in rush hour traffic in the smog with cranky drivers honking horns and flipping you off. Half the time there you struggle to get off on the exit you want. Better days might be driving through town to clearly marked stops. You can pause at the stoplights and watch the people and life pass by. The speed doesn't seem so rushed and hurried. I think some people choose to drive the same routes over and over; it's comfortable, familiar, predictable. Others like a little variety - a new scene, and choose new roads, often wondering where they'll lead. It's a little risky sometimes - you might get lost - but there's that chance that you'll discover something new and exciting along the way. Even though you might miss out on something new, there's something to be said of driving down the road you've been on a million times, those days with a sunny sky, the windows rolled down, and old music on the radio.

Funny thing . . . you're rarely the only one out there on the road. There are a lot of different road maps, but it's amazing how much they overlap and where they intersect. The other drivers on the road can make a big difference in how you experience the drive. Sometimes it's as if you're all pushing the speed limit in a pack on a long road trip, other times it's just the slow truck on a one-lane highway that forces you to slow down when you can't pass. It seems we all initially pull out the road map, figure out where we want to go, and head on down the road. But where we truly end up or where we spend our journey is anyone's guess. We pass each other and often leapfrog our stops. One road leads to another and the course becomes ever-changing.

I'm fascinated by maps. There's no concrete beginning or end to any trip, but I'm always up for the ride. It's amazing what you see when you look out the window and make frequent stops.

___________________________________________________________________________

Here's a profile of the little face growing inside of me - early photos for the family album. This was taken the third or fourth week of June. I'll have another ultrasound at the end of July to check and see how the baby's doing. We don't know yet if it's a boy or a girl, but already have names picked out for either. Hopefully we'll be able to find out in a few weeks if we're adding a fourth girl to our collection . . . or if it's a boy and we'll need to get a new rule book.

Rodents of the Skies

2007-07-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

I learned something about myself this last week. I don't laugh often enough. I've thought about it lately - I'm a pretty intense person emotionally. I need to remember to loosen up more often and have fun. I'm a planner, a worrier, meticulous about detail. I think what finally clinched the whole needing to laugh thing more, was actually having several moments of it - day after day, and realizing how much fun it was - laughing, I mean. After driving across the state and camping in 95 degree weather with the kids . . . there really wasn't a whole lot to do there. We - on a rare occasion - didn't overplan with sights to see and activities galore. It was even too hot to play frisbee. There was a swimming hole, but you can't stay in there all day. So - hot and irritable to an extent, the kids didn't fall asleep until after 11:00. But my husband and I were awakened around 4:30 (to a gorgeous sunrise that I have no regrets about being up to see) by the squawking. Yes, the lovely squawking of the crows. If crows don't live in your neck of the woods, then you simply must consider the title of my post to understand. I mean - you're out in the wilderness - camping in the middle of nowhere - hot as hell and desert-like, but beautiful - and you're awakened by scavengers with scratchy voices. I think there is some Native American story about how the crow lost it's singing voice. If there isn't, there really ought to be.

So, admiring the colors of the morning sun . . against the contrast of the loud annoying birds, with tired jollies from lack of sleep and another hot day ahead of us, my husband and I started mimicking the birds - inserting words with what they might be saying to one another - and we just started cracking up and I couldn't stop. Then a looooong freight train rolled by - aways away, but quite audible. One of the kids sat straight up in bed from a dead sleep, watched the train intently, then laid back down and went back to sleep. The next child, out of the blue, and an assumed sleep, called out, "Are those stinkin' birds?!" All the more fodder for my inability to stop laughing before 5 in the morning.

I had another such unstoppable laughter episode involving mayonnaise and trying to make sandwiches on a beach towel under a tree in the shade. I greatly dislike mayonnaise, and that's all I'm gonna say about that story.

Camping was a blast though, it always is. Before our trip, we did something different this year for the fourth of July holiday and took the kids hiking. We went around the back side of Mount Rainier - checked with the ranger about the trail and everything. Should've been a great 4-mile hike with the kids - excellent views and not too much elevation gain. It was beautiful and warm and sunny - but the ranger never said anything about the snow. We spent two hours trying to connect the dots with the trail that was covered about 95% in snowfields. The kids finally lost the feelings of nervousness and frustration and sledded and skiied down the hills. It was really a beautiful hike . . . Mt. Rainier is one of those things in life that humbles you and puts life in perspective.

PS. I added a photo of Clint to my last post

Time

2007-06-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go? I can't believe how long it's been since I've written a blog or surfed on others. At first it was a fatigue thing from pregnancy - combined with a lack of running and a feeling like I had nothing to say if it wasn't relavent to running. Then I was gone. Gone, gone, gone. I could spend days reminiscing - and write pages and pages - so many memories. Sometimes I wish I could bottle it all up and send it out to sea. Someday someone could read about the beauty I've seen and how seeing the great big world out there somehow gives me a sense of inner peace. I know, it sounds sappy - but I almost starting crying once when I was out there - it was just so amazing.

I've gotta apologize for being AWOL - I didn't realize how it may seem when I'm pregnant and then I suddenly stopped communicating. I finally had enough comments and emails from friends to let me know how it appeared. Everything baby is 'so far, so good'. I've had a few ultrasounds and have photos of a beautiful little face with no name. I have another dr. appt. today. My due date keeps changing - sometime in December. We're still not naming the baby Boston.

Where, oh where, did I go on vacation? Two trips were chaperoning kids school camping trips - one in cabins and one in tents. The highlights: within 48 hours, standing at the tip of the contiguous United States (Cape Flattery in Neah Bay) and looking out at Tatoosh Island - to being amidst the Olympic Mountains at an elevation of 5230 ft - to hiking through mossy old growth rain forest - to chasing Dungeness Crabs at a saltwater beach at sea level. And waking up oh so early in the campground to the sound of the birds, and taking a walk with the neon pink sunrise reflecting over Sequim Bay.

The third trip was Grandma Camp. I am in awe of my mother. This was her third annual camp with all seven of her grandchildren. As a grown-up, we're free to hang out at the cabin and participate - but also free to play and have our own mini-vacation while we're there. She does intense crafty activities with the kids - concrete leaf print bird baths, watercolor painting . . glass plate art, she takes the kids into town to the candy store and out for ice-cream and swimming at the lake, she roasts marshmallows and popcorn over the fire - she cooks pancakes in the morning. They took walks and did some community service pulling an invasive plant down by the river. She surprised the kids and took them on a horseback riding adventure out a trail to a clearing where they were provided a catered breakfast feast. All the other five adults in attendance also rode horses. I, the pregnant mommy, hitched a different ride to breakfast. I was able to capture photos of the delight on my children's faces as they mounted horses, then was whisked away.

My ride was some cross between an outback wagon ride and feeling like Cinderella in her carriage. An older gentleman named Clint - a weathered sort of cowboy - was my driver. Bob & Wishem pulled the wagon. Before we left, I had a little bit of time to talk to Clint . . . get a feel for his pace of life and meet the horses. But once we started moving, we were both silent for the 45 minute ride out and also on the ride back. This was the part of vacation where my emotions took over inside me. The trail wound around Sun Mountain in eastern Washington, with the Methow Valley below and glimpses of Lake Patterson glittering in the morning sun. We rode through hillsides ablaze in sprays of wildflowers - most specifically the sunny yellow balsam root leftover from springtime. The light breezes blew through the aspen trees, almost twinkling like christmas lights. We road along quietly, listening to the wind and the horses hooves and the wagon wheels over the ruts. Every so often Clint would point out a grazing deer, or grouse crossing the trail. Big yellow butterflies would zigzag through the air around the wagon. There was just something about the sights, the sounds, the smells . . . the fresh air . . . that was just astounding - wondrous in its own right. Arriving early at the meadow where breakfast was served, I had time to talk with the chef - outback chef by summer, telemark skiier by winter - what a life. I nearly stepped on a gopher snake as it slithered past my feet into the nearby rock pile. They aren't poisonous, but at quick glance look very similar to a northern pacific rattlesnake. It was one of those moments in life when you don't know how you'll react - I sorta stared at it and watched it go by.
____________________________________________________________________

It's funny what people pull from a text and focus on. Clint seemed to attract attention, so I thought I'd edit the post and add a photo of him. I hope seeing him in photograph after reading the fine print, isn't like spoiling a good book by watching a movie. He just seemed to earn a small tribute of sorts, so here he is.

____________________________________________________________________

Now my kids are out of school on summer break for two months. Novice piano music fills the air at home. My youngest woke up this morning and told me she had a dream that she was a native american (she is not) hunting bison, but that then she saw some deer and went over to pet them and wanted to ride them. What a crack-up. I have a full summer schedule ahead - to include lots of sand, music, sun, beach days, walks in the woods, good books and great friends. Maybe I'll go for a run. I'll have to journal it all in my blog. I miss writing, and it's gonna take me eons to read through all the other blogs I've missed. I'll get there. It's summer, and all I have is time.

Five Weeks

2007-05-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

5 weeks and 1 day since I last went running. I've swam twice in that time period, and gone for a long walk on the beach once. Pretty exciting, huh? But, I've now been so inspired by comments from other strong women who've run during pregnancy. I never have before - don't know why. Currently, I spend a lot of time on the couch. You're supposed to exercise when you're pregnant, and I sleep half of the day I'm so tired. You're supposed to eat well when you're pregnant, but most of the time the thought of food makes me nauseated. I force myself to fix dinner, then go back to my couch. Sometimes the nausea fades and I get hungry, so I figure I better fill Up when I'm in the mood. Last week that was a Hostess Ding Dong. The week before it was a Hostess Fruit Pie - cherry if you must know. I should write and thank the Hostess company for fulfilling my needs. Today I made a trip to the International District to pick up some things for dinner that sounded good, only knowing that by dinner time I might not like the idea of food. And then there's the fluids - supposed to drink but have to use the bathroom every five minutes. And then how do you get proper rest at night when you have a headache, and you're up three times to use the bathroom again. It's truly crazy. To top it off, my mind is occupied by the fact that in a year from now, with an additional child crawling around, this house won't be big enough. So, we move. The median house price in this city is $475 thousand. The gas prices are the highest in the country, and the transportation system is in major turmoil. It's so cloudy and wet half of the year, that depression rates skyrocket and people become ill from mold allergies. But we love the saltwater, the mountains, the green, the city . . . it'd be tough to move from friends and family and all that we love, and it'll be crazy to stay. Ah . . . the cranky bored pregnant lady speaks . .

Here's a better story. The dog. She's a cross between a collie and a shepherd, but small - sorta looks like a cross between a black lab and a coyote. She's a great family dog - 6 years old, and amazing with the kids. She herds us like a collie would, and gets nervous when one of us is gone overnight. She's only barked at someone once - and the person was well-deserving of it. She's an indoor/outdoor dog, but stays in when we aren't home. We used to give her free reign of the house until she started eating - anything that she could get to. One particular day it was a variety of chocolate desserts my mom had brought over for a special occasion. So, we resorted to shutting her in the bedroom whenever we left the house. It's a big enough space with her bed in it. She's been fine in there, day after day, for a couple of years. Until last week. I came home to find that she'd chewed the bottom of a fabric window covering. Strange and frustrating, but I didn't think too much of it. The next day was disturbing. When I came home, she had completely shredded the window covering, including bending the metal wires. She had chewed a 3 foot hole in one of our thick blankets, and pulled down a hat rack, piece by piece. She had pulled everything (all the bedding, pillows, etc.) in it's entirety off of the bed. A paper grocery bag with some clothes in it was torn up, it's contents spewed. All items atop the sewing desk were flung onto the floor. A plastic bag with marathon items was chewed, but thankfully nothing destroyed. And last, but not least, I realized that she had been chewing at the bottom of the door to the extent that it will need to be replaced. What the !@#@$#?

So we bought her a harness and had to start leashing her up outside when we left. (We have leash laws where we live and a dog isn't allowed to roam free. We also live near busy arterials.) It's a long leash, and she has water and a doghouse, and a nice grassy backyard. I still come home daily to find her tangled up in something. Most often, I just put her in the car with me and the kids to make quick trips. Yesterday I was trying to leash her up as I headed out to take the kids to school and she got mad. She saw the kids getting in the car, and hopped in. I called her out, and when she discovered she wasn't getting to come, she started circling the car nervously. I finally coaxed her to the leash and harness. This morning was a repeat. She hopped in the car. This time, when I called her out, she knew what was coming. So she ran off. Literally. As soon as we tried to call her, she trotted faster. The kids were all out of the car trying to help, and our 11-yr-old started running down the street after her, but it just egged her on. So . . . all the kids hopped into the car in a hurry as we drove down the street with the slider door open, going 'ding - ding' and the kids yelling for the dog. I'm sure the neighborhood was thrilled. We saw her zooming down the next street and caught up with her. I pulled over and pretended to be all friendly to her. With the door open, and the kids excited, she was only so eager to hop in for the ride. Anything to avoid that harness.

Just another day . . . what's up with the dog? Nothing has changed but the baby growing inside me. Can she sense it?

"In this box are two things I will show to you now. You will like these two things,"

2007-05-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ted Geisel would be so proud . . .

Favorite Storybook Character Dress-up Day.

5-11-2007

Some days are just meant to be so much fun.

Yes, we're having a baby . . .

2007-04-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

It's like an experiment in sociology to tell your children that you're having a baby and watch what happens. It's been a crazy week - not to mention coming home from vacation, having 2 days to recover, and then having company stay at your house for seven days, finding out you're pregnant, and really just trying to recover from a marathon emotionally and physically and wishing you can run.

So, yes - if there was any question after my last post - I am pregnant, and no, I had no idea when I ran the Boston Marathon. It's kinda funny to think about - maybe my body had it's own way of telling me to slow down. And it's kinda funny to think that I carried someone along that never qualified - oops! It's kind of a worrisome thing, too - to know that I ran that far and pushed my body to the limit while it was concentrating on other things. I've tried and tried to find research on the topic of running marathons while pregnant, but there isn't much out there but the standard - run easy while you're pregnant and don't compete. There are supposed heart rate limits (140 bmp) and supposed temperature limits (102 degrees), but there are articles that refute that, too. Perhaps when I talk with the doctor, I can find more answers.

The whole thing about telling the children . . . when you find out you're having a baby, it's a pretty exciting thing, and you want to share it with your children. It is highly unreasonable to tell a six-year-old such news, and expect her to keep it a secret. But it's also still very early in the pregnancy and there are reasons to not tell the general public. We chose to live in the moment. The kids - mostly our youngest - told the entire population in a matter of hours she was so excited. I've had very healthy pregnancies, but you can never predict such a thing - only take it one day at a time.

One day at a time? Me - who has no patience? Me, who was asking what next and planning my next marathon? Oh, my. It's so hard to take it day by day and not think too much about it all since it's so early, but it's so hard to not think about it when there is this child miraculously growing inside of me. I know that I have a scheduled 2 more weeks of no running, possibly 4, to make it either 4 or 6 weeks of no running post marathon to let my IT bands heal. And really, with no upcoming race, I have no reason to hurry it. I swam Friday, and can continue to up that training, and water running, just not with too much intensity. And I can lift weights lightly. And I read yesterday that I could bike up until 10 weeks when the uterus moves up into the abdomen. Prior to that, it is protected, and even falling off of a bike would not hurt the baby. But with IT issues, I won't be biking until after that, and then, I guess, I could ride a stationary bike. But that means a tri is out. Grrrrrr. But I've read that people do it . . . if anyone has more thoughts on that, I'd love to hear them. I did go for a 2-3 hour walk on Saturday and did lots of yardwork - my little leggies were sore after, so that was too much. Maybe I'll just walk the dog.

I'm seriously gonna go crazy. I need some focus - something to keep me occupied to take the place of training and training goals.

And all of our children were intentionally named after places - just something we chose to do. All five members of our family have the same middle initial as well - kind of a family connectedness thing. But it's so early to think of baby names . . . . and I really just want to take a nap.

Reflections on New Beginnings

2007-04-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

My sister turns 40 today. She's beginning a new decade. She told me she took some time off this morning to honor the transition. Pretty cool when you think about it - to take the time to pause and reflect - to look backward and forward before moving head on into the present.

Our oldest daughter, Kenaia, is 11 years old - named after Kenai, Alaska. The day she was born it was unusually stormy and windy. Her birth was very difficult and she came out with reddish hair and freckles. It all fits her personality. She's a determined little bugger - stubborn to the end, and likes to have things her way. She was an early talker, an early reader, and her current literacy skills blow us away. She could honestly be a published author right now. Books and writing are her passions, and she loves all things of the natural world, especially the wind, which she claims is her 'element'. Not only can she read into books, but she can read into people - she's very introspective. Her ability to comprehend people and situations is amazing. It makes me emotional to think about how she's grown into a little young lady. She's not only my daughter, but my friend and advisor at times, and a very independent creature. She's very true to herself and loves to explore. She's adamant about the fact that her true calling is to be a Dragonologist - to travel the world searaching for dragons.

Sydney is nine. When Sydney, Australia was named the site of the 2000 Olympics, we decided it would be a perfect name for a child. Sydney was born so fast that the nurse had to grab some doctor in the delivery room next door because our doctor didn't make it in time. And true to her name and her birth, Sydney is extremely athletic, fascinated by all sports, and does not like to wait for anything. In fact, not just sports, Syd is fascinated by everything. With her allowance, she bought herself a subscription to National Geographic Kids Magazine. She loves the Guinness Book of World Records. She loves Garfield and the Sunday comics and has a terrific sense of humor. She often hides around the house and tries to pop out and surprise me. She's a sponge for all sorts of information and can relay any information you request at any moment - how many people were on the Titanic, what caused the Great Chicago Fire, etc. What she really loves is animals. She has a very tender, compassionate side and gets emotional when it comes to any type of creature. She tells us that she wants to have a big house someday so she can have lots of dogs, and she wants to travel around studying animals all over the world. And play basketball for the WNBA.

Meissa is 6 years old. She was named after a place, just like her sisters - only farther away. Meissa is a double star serving as one of the head stars in the Orion Constellation. In Arabic, it means 'the shining one.' This child was also born under the constellation Leo the Lion, and in the chinese zodiac Year of the Dragon. You can only imagine the little fireball that she is. She's a true wild one - fueled by race cars, extreme sports, all things pink, fashion, hairstyles, and shoes. Several years ago she could tell you several different models of cars as they drove by on the street - yet she might also be able to tell you about the latest shoe designers. She has recently learned to read and is fascinated not only by books, but by the world of print that exists before her eyes in every moment of her day. She's a busy kid - constantly jump-roping in the house. Currently she has no aspirations for the future. She lives completely in the moment and enjoys every second of her day - inspiring others to join her. Whatever she chooses to do with herself, she doesn't let anyone or anything stand in her way, and she gives it one hundred percent.

That's a glimpse into my reflections today - inspired by my sister. And then a moment to honor the transitions before I move into the future - the unknown - the exciting, the scary, the thrilling.

I mentioned in my marathon posts that I wasn't sure what I'd learned yet. It took a while to gather and understand. But what I understand today, is that the body is an amazing thing. All things in life occur for a reason, and all things in life have their own timing - be it marathons or be it children. Well, what about both? I think it's sorta humorous that I can claim I finished the Boston Marathon ~ injured, without much training, and pregnant? Yep. Our littlest one has got to be the youngest Boston finisher in history. It's still very early - the baby won't be born until late December, but the speed of growth is rapid. Although currently smaller than an apple seed, it's heart is forming, blood is circulating, and it's liver has begun to function.

Today, we're celebrating new life as we head into the future. I'll have to reschedule the fall marathon, yet hold that Boston Marathon in my mind, understanding that the human body really can accomplish amazing things.

Now what?

2007-04-23T13:15:00.000-07:00

I'm bored.

That great thing I wanted to do all my life has a check in the box next to it.

My massage appointment was cancelled today, leaving me a whole day open. I drove to the kids' school to drop off a bicyle helmet 'cause they're doing cycling in PE. I ate the last brownie for breakfast, and had cold slabs of seasoned tofu for lunch (the microwave is broken). And no, I'm definetely not a vegetarian, I just happen to like tofu. I've done the laundry and my house is clean - enough. I should get something out of the freezer for dinner since we have nighttime company all week, and I could clean a child's bedroom who's having a playdate today - but that's not my job.

But it's sunny and it's springtime and I can't run. I could go outside, but today I feel like if I can't run, what's the point? It's like drinking decaf coffee or showering before you get in the pool.
I really want what's next.

I spent all morning reading blogs. And I've read and re-read the comments from others on the accomplishment of merely finishing a marathon that meant the world to me. It's humbling to remember that everyone else is out there with their own agendas and ambitions and enlightening to take part in those journeys.

What's next? My training plan is all penciled out for the Bellingham Bay Marathon in the fall. (If you look at the photo of the footbridge in the link - and you were to walk north another 100 meters, you'd come to another similar footbridge that my husband and I were married on :) I'm supposed to do the cross-country ski leg of the Ski to Sea Relay (cross-country skiier to downhill skiier to runner to road biker to canoe - 2 people - to mountain biker to sea kayaker) May 27th, but I'm not sure that's going to happen. I'd love to do a triathlon. I've always wanted to, and now I've actually learned to swim and I have a bike. I want to do an ironman. I want to do a half ironman. My husband has convinced me that for my body right now, it would be wise to try a sprint first. That's easier said than done - to try to schedule that in this summer is insane between camping and long camping and my husband's race schedule. Chelan Man might work - we'll be there both days anyway because my brother and my husband are both participating and on different days. I wonder what a splash n dash is? And to clarfiy: 'Camping' designates a weekend trip, long camping is the longer trip to the California Redwoods and all the stops enroute. We're thinking we can fit in the Redwoods, Crater Lake, Mt. Hood, and we're considering Mt. Shasta/Shasta Lk, the Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, the Lava Beds National Monument, and the Oregon Caves National Monument.

I long to see the world and go play in it, can you tell? And aside from all of those above desires, I'll just throw out there that I'd love to run NYC and London - but that's not a plan, yet - just a dream. I'd like to do Safaricom too, while I'm purging. And I might as well tell you about my Frito addiction. I eat them every day. Really. Mostly while watching healthy television programming late at night, but often for mid-morning lunch and sometimes they're a good breakfasttime treat or a dinner appetizer. In fact, I'm eating them right now. Like I said in the beginning - I'm bored. So, now I really oughtta go make myself a smoothie and email my swim coach about the triathlon training group.

Two questions of the day:
~Does boredom breed creativity or insanity?
~Who is 'Impey'?

Perspectives on Boston 2007

2007-04-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

I don't think it has completely settled in with me just what I accomplished.

There are so many runners and so many stories and so many individual experiences --this one is only mine, and everybody else's is different.

The email alerts on severe weather that the BAA sent out days prior to the event were a little intense.
Saturday was calm in Boston - like the calm before the storm. Sunday morning it started to drizzle and a lady from somewhere in Texas described it as 'bone-chilling' cold. We drove up the coast of New Hampshire and into Maine - it was snowing up there while we were geocaching.

Sunday night the weather got crazy and the news media had a heyday. Every channel showed the storm system and hour by hour forecast of the tremendous power of the nor'easter with 40 mph sustained winds - gusts higher, many inches of rain, and temps near freezing. It became nerve-wracking figuring out how to layer for a race in such conditions. I heard one man interviewed who said you train in rain, you train in wind, you train in cold - but the likelihood that you'd train in all three is pretty slim.

By Monday morning the weather was pleasantly warmer - high 40's - and the predictions were that the rain would die down as the race started. Shuttling around all morning from the hotel to the state park to the start line to the athletes village and back to the start was messy.

This is a picture I took while sitting under the tents at the village - on a plastic garbage bag where I huddled on a 2 foot square patch for over an hour - wearing many many layers of polar fleece, goretex, and thankfully not the shoes I was to run in.

This picture is of the area between the two large tents at the village (the field at Hopkinton HS). It wasn't a fun place to cross.

Just as the race began, the rain stopped, it was warm enough to run in shorts, and for me, the wind never factored in. I actually felt great. I anticipated going out a little fast the first few miles with the downhill, but made sure I stayed really relaxed and comfortable. My first 5 miles were all in the 8:00 range, and that was fine, but I went conservatively after that and intentionally slowed my pace to what I thought I might accomplish in this long run. My next five miles averaged around 8:20's - perfect. I actually felt pretty good - all that cross-training has left me with relatively good conditioning - sorta.

At mile 9 my IT band started acting up. It was just mild at first - just sorta sore/tired feeling - but I could feel it - the same as that last long run I did in February. I hung tight for a little while, thinking one thing at a time - just get through the half. And I almost did that respectfully enough. I stopped for a couple of minutes - restroom stop and just to sorta gather myself. I started noticeably slowing down in there somewhere after the half and by miles 15 - 20 the pain just got worse and worse. I consider myself to have a pretty high pain threshold - (I've had 3 kids all natural childbirth :). But for me, IT pain gets pretty intense. It sorta feels like there's a big wide rubber band stretched along the lateral side of my knee and it's being pulled at the ends and plucked from the side. My gait become pretty awkward and my favoring my left knee was obviously creating a whole host of other issues for me. I walked every now and then - it was less painful and it gave me a break, and then I'd start again, only to go a little while and have it continue to get worse.
The Newton Hills approached. Having been a seasoned ITB runner, I know that uphills are easier than downhill. And truly, compared to the hills in the Pacific Northwest, I'm not sure what the worry is over those hills in Boston. The inclines, I'll call them, helped me tremendously. The uphill rolls felt better, but it got to the point that any kind of downhill decline had to be walked because I couldn't run anymore. So through the Newton Hills and continuing on. By mile 22, my pace was between 11 and 12 minutes. My right calf was doing all the work for my left knee, my quads were pretty pissed that I hadn't put in the appropriate miles in the months leading up to this, and my left ITBand was shot to hell. But I could still limp. Many a person would pass and touch my shoulder or say, "hey, you're doing great - you'll make it." I remember some bystander hollering to the masses, "Remember what race this is!" That comment stuck with me. This was the Boston Marathon. That thing I'd watched on TV when I was a kid and only dreamed about. That race I used to record every year and force my family to be silent while I watched it in awe and reverence. I spent many an emotional mile during this portion of the course - I cried every now and then when I wasn't holding back tears. It was hard to be walking at times when there were so many spectators lining the course and cheering and being supportive.
Around mile 23, I started feeling my other ITBand - it came on pretty suddenly to the point where I felt like I couldn't limp well anymore. I wondered what it would be like to come this far and have to stop. I never thought about what I might be doing to my legs by running on them. I just wanted to finish. Just before mile 24 I had some serious anxiety. It had gotten to the point where I'd stop to walk, and then I couldn't start to run again - my legs just wouldn't work right to complete the motion. I had a tense moment where I started hyperventilating and couldn't catch my breath. I actually considered the thought that I didn't know for sure if I could finish. Then I got mad. I'd decided way back somewhere that I didn't wanna come back and do this. I didn't wanna have to. And I didn't wanna live on, saying, "Yeah, I went to the Boston Marathon once - I never finished." I dug deep from somewhere within and started running. I told myself that I couldn't stop and walk at this point, because if I did, I knew inside that I wouldn't be able to continue. I blocked out everything else and focused on the thought that this was Boston, and I was going to be a finisher.

The finish line before the runners arrived.

I'm somewhere in there with that white space blanket on.

And so I was. I finished the Boston Marathon. According to the BAA, I ran a 4:07:13 - with an injury, and without really running much for 2 months. Aside from childbirth, I don't think I've willingly and intentionally put myself in that much pain in my entire life. It was truly a grueling experience. It helps to wear a Boston Marathon shirt around when you can't walk - people look at you funny, then they just smile. It's 4 days after the race and I can almost walk normally. The inability to walk made vacation highly interesting.
I'll have to post more later in tidbits on perhaps what I really learned from the experience - like I said in the beginning - I think I'm still figuring that out. There's a lot still in my head. I know that I'm tired. Mechanical airplane failures - switched flights - missed connections - airport food vouchers - shuttles that never arrive for some hole hotel the airline puts you up at in a city which will not be named somewhere in the middle of the country . . . a 6 hour flight that passengers can accomplish across the country took us 23 hours. And our lost luggage arrived on our doorstep late last night.
Vacation was amazing - but that'll have to be another post. And I've got loads of blog-reading to catch up on.

Marathon Weekend Plus

2007-04-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

I feel that today I should be able to say something profound . . deep inspiration that I've learned from my training, what my goals and race plans are. But really, i have nothing. Seven weeks of injury recovery and mininmal running. Completey different exercise regime than I'm used to. A time change to adjust to. And a race forecast that changes by the hour. Yesterday it was forecast to be in the high thirties, raining, and 40+ mph winds. Lovely. How do you take all that into consideration and plan for a race?

I have a tattoo on my ankle. Maybe you've seen it - there's a picture on my first blog post. It's a kanji symbol for 'passion'. The reasons for it are multifaceted, but the basis is the way I want to live my life - with passion. I want to be able to take each moment, enjoy it completely, and live it to the fullest potential - to get the most out of my experiences and really live.

At this point in my life, Boston isn't just a race - it's an experience. It's the cleaning the house inside out for my parents to stay here and spending weeks making sure everything is in order for our children while we're gone. It's the picking and choosing of the hotels, airlines and rental car. The excitement of driving around Boston, then getting the hell out of the crowds when it's over and staying in the fancy villa in providence, rhode island. It's the walking barefoot on the beaches of the mightly Atlantic Ocean at Cape Code, with 40 mph winds in my face, and the funny little old couple who own the B&B we're staying at. It's eating at the hilarious restaurant in Boston Anne told me about that doesn't really fit tourists well. The many late nights I've spend looking up the geocaches that I'm going to log, and which travel bug I'm taking for a trip across the country. It's the checking out the coast along the New Hampshire seashore, and really being able to say I went through 4 states in 5 days. Coming from the west coast, you don't do that very often. (Our states are bigger. :)

So this big race - with the crappy weather and the unknown fitness level put to the test of a marathon? Fuel belt or pockets? One shirt or two? Shorts or tights? Gloves or not? Gatorade or water? Cliff shots or gu? Breakfast or not? I have no idea, really. I've gone through so many race scenarious in my mind. I know I want to start out conservatively the first several miles. (But if I'm freezing cold, I might just whip through the whole course really fast to keep warm.) After those first downhill miles, if I feel good, I'll take it up half a notch - maybe just a quarter notch - at it's my secret what a notch really is. At the halfway point, I'll gauge how I'm doing and make a pace judgement again. And if I'm still running by mile 19, I'm gonna go like hell. My PR is 3:25:17 - Vancouver, BC, 1994. My second fastest was Portland, OR last October with a 3:34:05. My slowest was Seattle, WA 1996 - 4 and a quarter hours, I believe. This marathon is # 9 for me. Boy, it'd be great to run really fast, and I know exactly the race I'd need to run and the splits I'd need to have. But come Monday, I truly think I'd be happy somewhere between 3:45 and 4:00. I think I need to slow down and enjoy this one - and really focus on actually surviving it until the finish line. There are so many factors going into this one, that sometimes you need to leave them all behind on the starting line, and when the gun goes of - just run.

Have an excellent weekend.
-# 12892 (wave 2)

Pace Adjustments

2007-04-08T17:35:00.000-07:00

Running too fast is how I injured myself, so it would seem logical to slow down. For a few weeks I barely ran at all, then I only allowed myself to run on the track or the treadmill. The treadmill was safe - I could set the pace and not cheat. The track . . . well, that just got me excited. Running on a brand new track in the springtime . . . the smell of it warming up after a light rain . . . coming around the last corner and down the straightaway. I just couldn't hold it in. And then sometimes other people show up at the track - and I just can't help myself and pretend it's a race. I don't think they ever know the difference - I just look like the average runner with headphones, but inside I'm scheming and unintentionally getting in interval workouts. Then I go back to the treadmill so I can slow down, and I find myself looking in the mirror for other people on treadmills to race. I know, I'm sick. I've just gotten really bored and antsy. I actually allowed myself to incline the treadmill once to feel a hill, and I've allowed myself to go downhill a few times. I figure that's good training for the first 5 miles of Boston. I often wonder if other people at the gym think I'm cheating my run and making it easy by going downhill. Maybe they don't notice.

I attempted to create some ways to slow down my pace last week. I had two very exciting training days. First, I now have an adjustment on my cell phone plan that will allow me to email my photos. So I took my phone to the track to practice taking pictures with it while I was running. I mean, why have it be a new thing out on the marathon course, and have it be impactive? I had to practice, right? But it didn't slow me down. Instinctively, I knew I had slowed down to take a picture, so I'd speed up again. My laps were on pace like clockwork - one 400 after another. And I'm proud to say that I'm up to 7 miles at a time. :) I haven't actually looked at my photos, but I know how many I can take so I can pace my camera-taking during the marathon.

But I found another way to slow myself down. I know it was naughty. My IT bands would probably be much safer on flat surfaces. But what would you do on a day like this?

Initially I was just sneakin' out to run in the sunshine - the mountains and the water were calling to me. I figured the concrete bike path is pancake flat and the dirt path is nice and soft, so I'd be just fine. Then I discovered it was low tide and I couldn't resist the beach - that soft sand and the waves breaking and the seagull cries . . .

So it was a little slanted, but if I came back the same way I got the slant on both sides, right? And I had my camera to slow me down - that's supposed to be a good thing - not going too fast. And then my terrain changed a little bit - that's where the naughty part comes in. Sometimes a week before an important race you shouldn't take risks, but sometimes you just have to live a little.

I was able to slow down that too fast pace by a whole two minutes! And I had a most excellent and uplifting run. Then I went back to the track and I'm still stuck on that quicker pace. But the way I figure, with lifting three days a week, yoga, massive stretching, water running and swimming - I've only gotten stronger and I haven't lost any conditioning - endurance, maybe - but my strength feels really great when I'm out running. So that's my excuse for not slowing down.

And??? I have NO PAIN when I'm running! I know it might come back at any moment but it's still exciting. I'm sorta looking forward to 'post-race' training because I do feel really strong and I can't wait to restructure my training and set some goals for what I want to do next. My swim coach has been a huge help and I'm feeling really comfortable with my stroke - thinking about all of those summer triathlons looming out there . . . but I gotta wait. It's like I have BB time and AB time. Before Boston and After Boston. I gotta reign myself in and do one thing at a time.

Happy Easter!

My fascinating fact about these Easter Eggs:
We died them with three things: purple cabbage, beets, and turmeric. (and vinegar and water)
Turmeric dye is yellow, beet dye is deep pink, and purple cabbage dye looks plum purple but the eggs come out blue. You mix colors like you learned when you were in preschool and you get new colors. The really odd thing, though - when you mix the cabbage dye (purple) and the turmeric dye (yellow) you get this glass of orange liquid. When you put an egg in it, it comes out green. This was truly the highlight of my Easter.

Honest Thoughts

2007-04-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

Two weeks and counting 'til the Boston Marathon.

I've run far too many laps around the track lately - forever running in circles provokes all sorts of contemplation:

~ why does it take runners 45 minutes to go a half mile from the athlete's village to the starting line?
~ is it improper etiquette to wear a jacket you buy at a race expo if you don't finish the race?
~ i've never not finished a marathon . . . what if?
~ should i go out of my way to buy a smaller foam roller that will fit in my carry on, or should i just get out the bread knife and saw the one i have in half?
~ which old raggety running shirt should i pack to throw off somewhere in Hopkinton?
~ is 4 states enough to drive through in 5 days, or should we try 5 for 5?
~ will there be a sunrise that morning at the Cape, or will it be cloudy?
~ at which mile mark will my ITB start feeling like a rubber band pulled too tight?
~ what will Heartbreak Hill feel like after 49 days of not running any hills?
~ how much memory do i need in my camera for mid-race photo opportunities?
~ will vitamin 'I' get crumbly in my pocket if i don't put it in a ziplock?
~ for my pre-race meal, should i have roasted garlic or spicy chicken wings?

All in a Day's Work

2007-03-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the PT said I could have the gingerbread boy use a rolling pin to massage my ITB, but I think I'll stick to my foam roller from now on.

Does competition really breed success?

2007-03-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

As a runner for most of my life, this has long been one of my favorite quotes:

"Beating the competition is relatively easy, but beating yourself is a never-ending commitment."

I could never really remember where it came from, or who to give credit to, until I just found this on a runner's blog. I think my brother had that poster on his wall when I was a kid. I remember cutting out the words from somewhere - maybe the poster or a magazine ad, and taking them with me to college to post on a bulletin board. I still have them in a file somewhere. I still don't know who to give credit to for writing it - someone at Nike has had a huge impact on my life. Those words meant something when my brother would quote them in a letter or recite them while we were out on a run - wise advice from an inspirational sibling. Those words taught me to look within from beginning to end, no matter what the rest of the field was doing. It's you that you go home with at the end of the day, and you that you need to feel happy with. It's your own reality that you live with.

I've struggled recently with my title statement - the idea of competition breeding success. It feels like that's what the world says, until I sit back and remember that success lies within. I'd have to better define success as truly defining who you are and being able to live to that potential to the best of your ability.

My recent quandary? Registering the oldest child for middle school. Fortunately in life, you have the power of decision, and the power to choose. In the Emerald City, the choices are baffling. We live in an area where the public school system is called a 'choice' district - really meaning - you choose. Often, in other places, your schooling is decided by residence or by income. Surely, those things factor in here is well. It could range anywhere from home-schooling to the private, elite schools. The public school system here allows you to choose from any school in the district - residence area is a priority, not a requirement. Within this public system, free to the common tax-paying citizen - are a myriad of selections: the neighborhood school, the advanced academic placement school, the alternative school, the athletic school, the rich school, the poor school, the multilingual school, the expeditionary model, the outdoor education school, the school for the social elite . . .

Which one is best for our child?
If competition were to breed success, it would follow that our child should be placed in a school with the utmost academic standards. Perhaps the choice should be a school with the wealthy in attendance to be able to better fund extra opportunites, furnishings, buildings, learning materials.

But then the reminder - competition does breed success - but that competition lies within - being true to who you are and what you can become with that self. And true success can only be measured in the eyes of the beholder. So - a school with a place that will allow a child to compete with oneself would then become the goal. It would have to be a place that mimics that core value, and brings out the best of the whole person in that child - academically, emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. As parents, making that decision for an 11-year-old child, is perhaps the most difficult decision we've had to make.

The rest of the story becomes long and political - with school visits, tours, application dates and times, waiting lists, priorities. We'll know results in early April, but they might not be finalized until August. But we did find that school. It just felt right more than anything, and it blew us away. The process really forced me to look at our children and who they really are, and how to bring out their personalities and motivate them. I'll post more on the school in detail when we find out if she got in or got put on the waiting list.

On running notes - the quote has put things in perspective for me today. Running is all about how I interpret it for myself on a given day. Running Boston with an injury will be interesting. It's still day to day right now with how my legs feel, but I still intend to make the most of the experience. And I believe I am in Wave #2, -not officially, but by looking at my bib number on the website. Considering my slower race with an injury, that's a good thing at this point, and it'll force me to relax and enjoy it.

treading water

2007-03-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

Somehow I'm WAY behind in blogging, and can't fit in the time to write lately. I think about it all the time - think about all the things I'd like to blog about - zillions of topics stored up in my brain that come out when I'm exercising - lost in thought.

A couple of quick responses to things without having to find the right places to send them (multitasking):

D - thanks for checking . . . I think I get self-absorbed sometimes and forget to realize there are other people out there who take the time . .
Katy - jumprope club is like an after-school sport (remember, my kids go to an alternative school). At first we thought it was sorta hokey, then saw how amazing it is for conditioning, how much our child loves it, and what it does for her confidence.
- the postcards were aweswome and hilarious! - I'm not sure which one of us liked them the most
Anne - as far as the commute between the Cape and Hopkinton - we're actually staying in town before the race, and the Cape is after. Thanks tons for the eating out tips - Durgin Park sounds like a hoot!
Robin - you're oatmeal/egg concoction is fabulous!

And to everyone who reads and/or comments on my posts: You're all truly an inspiration. I get busy with my kids and feel guilty taking the time on the computer. Then I read posts and comments from all of you guys and remember what an amazing support system running and blogging is. It blows my mind how we can all connect through simple technology.

My journey to Boston and recovering from ITBS has taken me on an interesting journey. I've run exactly eight times in the last three weeks - either on the treadmill or the track. My longest run was 6 miles. I've been lifting weights - planning to train through this marathon instead of backing off too much. I've done yoga, I've been swimming, and I tried bike riding - that was a mistake - it set me back another week when I was feeling really well. Massive amounts of stretching and my foam roller have been the critical factors for me. I get really tired of it all, and I feel like I just wanna head out the door and fly - go for miles and miles on an early morning with no one around. It's not gonna happen yet. My husband is busy with training plans and schedules and I get jealous - it wouldn't be wise for me to get over-zealous and plan until I heal.

But what has really come out of all of this, is this pool thing. I like water. I can swim around and play. We do the beach a lot in the summer, and take the kids to the pool. But swim laps? It's not my greatest feature. The whole face underwater thing makes me nervous. And having to cope with another body in the same lane in the pool is a daunting task. Any time I've had to do pool time was because of an injury and the need for cross-training. I usually water-run, use a kick board, or create my own version of a side stroke. But really those things don't equate to the running I'm missing when I'm supposed to be training for what I consider to be a big marathon. So I needed to swim. Scary. My husband learned how. Last summer he overcame childhood near-drowning issues, faced the water head-on, and did his first tri. Now he's training for a half-ironman. With that inspiration, I figured I needed to overcome my fear. I really had no excuse.

I made myself talk to a swim coach about a class. Didn't register. Just talked to him. He said I really ought to be able to swim laps in order to take the class. I surfed the internet for stroke techniques (creative, don't you think?), then went to the pool. I swam for 45 minutes. Somehow, between the frustration of being able to run marathons and not swim, or being forced to take a beginner class if I couldn't do laps, something just clicked. At first I had to keep stopping to fiddle with my goggles, or breathe for a second because I was going too fast and thought that if I slowed down I would sink. I wrote down 800 meters in my training log. I wasn't until several days later that I figured out I swam 1600 meters. Perhaps it's a math class I should be enrolling in, but today I signed up for the swim class. I still can't allow myself to plan training until after Boston, but maybe there'll be a tri this summer mixed in with that running I'm looking forward to.

Red Wine and Chocolate

2007-03-07T23:23:00.000-08:00

Oh, where HAVE I been, and what am I here to say?
(the red wine is gone - I just poured the last glass, and I could care less about the chocolate)

The world is a much bigger place than just me.

It's 5 and 1/2 weeks 'til Boston - the marathon of my dreams - and I'm having ITB issues. It's my own damn fault. It felt so good running so fast and far - until I ran my 17 miler and could barely walk by the end - literally. I should've known better. It's just like when you go out fast in a race, and you do it every damn time, and you know better. I got excited. And I guess I can still be excited at the thought that I conditioned myself to the point of maintaining a fast pace over a good distance. I'm capable of it. I proved it. Perhaps I needed to bottle it up and save it. I've run twice in the last two weeks - 3 miles each time. I'm done wallowing in my self-pity of injury and am in maintenance mode (icing, stretching, strength training up the ying-yang, swimming, arnica, glucosamine . . ) until Boston - then I'll reconvene with my brain and assess the situation.

I haven't wanted to blog. I haven't really wanted to talk about it or write about it at all. But then when I was at the gym there was this guy. Sometimes in life you need people to shake you out of your misery. This guy is always at the gym. He's probably around 75-80 years old. He always has on navy blue sweat pants and a white ribbed tank top. Sometimes he's on the bikes, sometimes lifting weights or on the rowing machine. He smiles and he talks to a few people, but he's fairly quiet. He's there to exercise. I doubt he's training for an ultra. I don't think he's into how sculpted his muscles are. I know he's not there for the social life. I'm pretty sure he's not breaking any records. But he's always there. He's there to take care of himself - to do what makes him happy.

I could write all night about how this little old man and my self-pity are connected, but I think it's as simple as my previous statement. The world is a bigger place than just me. In the long run, what's the big deal if I'm injured? I'm taking care of it, doing what I can. I can continue to do what makes me happy and healthy and move on. There is so much to be said of focusing outward instead of just focusing inward. And perhaps blogging about it doesn't just do something for me, maybe it will have an affect on somebody, somewhere else. The world is a bigger place.

The Fine Line

2007-02-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

What to do, what to do . .

I remember when I was in junior college, our track team wore neon yellow t-shirts with a bright pink Nike slogan: Eat right, get lots of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, . . and go like hell!

We were conference champions that year, and I competed in 4 different events.
You just showed up for practice and did what the coach said.
I wish it were still so easy.

Now I design my own training plans, workouts, races, and nutrition. There are so many variables to factor in to know if I should be doing something different. I read a lot of training plans and updates on theories. Way back when, I received a college degree in Exercise Science, so I know a little about how my body adapts to training. I follow the 'no more than 10 percent' increase in training rule. I run the right amount of long runs before a marathon. I know I'm supposed to strength train in the off-season and stretch all the time.

My latest dilemma is pace. I typically run comfortably at around 8:30 pace - an average. It goes up and down. I know my long runs are slower and my speed and pace workouts are faster. What happens, though, when you have a week and you all of a sudden feel comfortable running faster? I know when I start out a marathon and it feels good to run faster and go with the crowd, that I'll end up paying for it later. So, in training, is it a mistake to be running faster if it feels good? How do you know if your conditioning level has simply improved, and that's why you're running faster. What if it feels really slow to run at the pace you were scheduled to run at? I'm talking - that comfortable 8:30 pace went down to under 8:00 this week - all week - culminating in my 10 miler at 7:52 pace. I head out, telling myself, "okay, slow . . . . " thinking that an easy 9:00 minute pace would be good for me, and slow and comfortable ends up at 8:00 minute pace, and then I pick it up.

That's all great and wonderful - I should be thrilled running so fast - in the back of my head I imagine how fast my next race could be. But my smart side says it's too fast too soon. So I took yesterday off. It's gonna screw up my mileage for the week, but I had to listen to my gut. And my legs don't feel so fresh. I know right there that it's obvious I should slow down - if I don't feel fresh - but then again, there are parts of any training plan when you are building or doing speedwork, and you don't always feel fresh. And going slower felt - well - slow. I even tried to do it on the track and pace it out really slow, and I went too fast. If I look at it logistically, it'd be like saying I did tempo runs all week. Bad news for injuries. But my question still remains - how do you know when your fitness level improves and you can train faster and not worry about the ramifications?

Abstracts of Daily Life

2007-02-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

It seems like my posts are so sporadic lately - I have a hard time keeping up with the blur of life, and no time to sort my thoughts into decent writing. I haven't a clue what I've been spending my time doing. I've been running. I'm around 40 mpw right now - it's pretty low mileage for marathon running, but that's what works for me. I still have most of my long runs ahead of me leading up to Boston. My last couple have been hilarious. The flu has been rampant here lately - in many forms and varieties. I probably shouldn't have gone for that long run a couple of weeks ago when I was sick, but I'm a runner, what can I say? When you run in the city, you usually rely on park restrooms - and I found out during that run that many of them were closed for the season. (They turn off the drinking fountains in the winter too, so the pipes don't freeze.) Nice. I ended up walking my last 2 miles that day - didn't feel so good. I got smarter last Sunday. I planned my route to go past bigger parks, where I knew the restrooms wouldn't be closed. Lo & behold, I approached one and the sign said it was closed due to vandalism. Great. But, alas, there was a port-a-potty available for use. My new words of wisdom: Don't take a hydration pack into a port-a-potty. I took such good care to hold on to the pack, but when the hose with the mouthpiece drooped and hit the floor . . . yeah, I didn't hydrate too well after that.

I ate goat meat on Wednesday. Perhaps that statement makes it obvious that I'm not a vegetarian. I'm a believer that you eat what's available. On Wednesday, it was goat meat. We went to an Indian cafe/restaurant for lunch and they had Himalayan cuisine as a portion of the menu. So I had goat. With spicy pickle. I'm still not quite sure what that was - it got lost in the translation with the person that brought it to me, but it was tasty. It was doubly cool sitting there eating with a picture of Mt. Everest on the wall nearby. Then we went to an amazing art preview for a Chinese exhibit that was to open the following day. It was interesting to go from India to the Himalayas to China all in one afternoon. It made me realize how big the world is, and how badly I'd love to wander through it and explore.

The most fascinating thing in our house this week is xmradio. We have it in the car, and that'll be most excellent on road trips, of which we are currently planning for spring and summer. Online, xmradio is a whole different ballgame. The one-hit-wonder station is hilarious. Most of all, though, I've discovered, to my children's great dismay, that I can listen to 80's music all the time! Our 6-year-old switched stations on me right in between the Pretenders and Yes the other day. I'll just have to teach the munchkins about quality music. :)

Another big event in our home. New family members. It's been a long time coming, and no I'm not pregnant and we're not adopting or hosting foster or exchange children. The child was told it would only happen if the bedroom was kept clean for an entire month. She'd been told this for a couple of years, and it finally happened. So now we have "Yazhi" - Navajo for 'little one'. And along with Yazhi came the mealworms and the crickets. The mealworms are nasty. I have issues - really big issues with wormy things. I don't allow them inside or in my refrigerator, and I think we are going to get rid of them altogether. The crickets are a whole new world. They are a pet, a food source, music, a source of entertainment and curiosity all rolled into one. Truly, I think they are like a toy for my husband. They keep him up at night, no matter where in the house we try to hide them. They escape no matter how secure we keep the cage. But it's truly amazing to put them into the big glass tank and watch the gecko hunt them down and eat them in one bite - four of them in a row. I don't know where she puts them, she's so tiny and the long-legged hopping things are as big as her head.

Yazhi

Tomorrow ends basketball season for child #2. Next week is break with no school, and then we head toward spring. Am I ready for that? Kid # 1 has chess club and girls only indoor soccer, kid #2 has co-ed indoor soccer, and kid # 3 has jumprope club. We are currently holding a limit there at that amount of activities - when you add up school and homework, the scheduling takes a toll as we head into a weekend of training for my husband and I, and getnout and having fun with the kids.

While I sort through my thoughts and find an enlightening post for next time, I'll end this one with a token of hope for most bloggers in the United States. Spring is coming. I promise. Somehow, some way, it happens every year without fail. Believe in it.

The Rules of Degrees

2007-02-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

I remember having a conversation with my dad years ago, and I think about it often as the seasons start to change. We were discussing what to wear running during different types of weather and both seemed to adhere to an unwritten set of rules.

The Rules:
(in degrees fahrenheit, because the USA refuses to conform to the rest of the world)

80° and above - you really should've gotten up and run at sunrise when it was cooler
70° - 80° shorts and a tank top - great for track workouts, not long runs
60° - 70° perfect running weather - shorts and a t-shirt
50° - 60° shorts, but long-sleeves - you'll inevitably roll 'em up, but if it's windy or rainy . .
40° - 50° tights and long sleeves - deceivably chilly, even if it's sunny
30° - 40° tights, long-sleeves over or under short sleeves, gloves, hat optional, wool socks -
unless you want numb feet the first half of your run
20° - 30° tights, short sleeves, long sleeves, gloves, hat, smart-wool socks
below 20° (doesn't happen that often here) I'd add a sweatshirt to everything else and be amazed
at the lack of sweat when I was finished.

So, really - my point? I wore shorts when I went running today!!! It's a MIRACLE! My dearest apologies to the rest of the country, where winter still isn't over, but I finally have hope. I'm so burnt out on depressing winter weather, rain, snow, wind, ice, cold temps, floods, power outages . . . hmmm, was there more?

It was 12° in Cape Cod, Massachussetts today. Why do I know that? Because the guy at the B&B out there told my husband when he booked a night in April. Ahhh, yes - the dreary days of winter provoke one to plan vacations. Two nights in Boston, because there is some silly marathon I'm supposed to run. Some random hotel, because really, I'm there to run a race, buy a cool jacket at some expo, eat some food at Faneuil Hall, and drive up the New Hampshire and Maine Coastline. Then a night in a fancy place in Providence, RI - because after all that runnin' I'll need some quality Itlalian food in little Italy and a soak in the jetted tub at a lovely euro-nouveau hotel. And then a lovely suite at a B&B within walking distance of the ocean in Cape Cod - complete with a fireplace. And my tide table shows me low tide at sunrise on the east coast that day. Perfect for some time to stretch the legs . . . Life is good. I hope winter is over soon.

News from Boston - good or bad?

2007-01-29T15:27:00.000-08:00

Change in life is necessary, otherwise it would become stagnant and boring and there would be no growth. I get that. But sometimes when some things change, I don't get it.

Perhaps this is old news for some, or it's already been spread across someone else's blog, or on a newspaper article is some other city. But this news is new news for me. Here is what it reads:

NEW for 2007: The 2007 Boston Marathon will utilize a two-wave start with the fastest 10, 000 qualifiers starting at 10:00 a.m. followed by the rest of the field at 10:30 am.

I have issues with this. I knew the time had changed from the legendary afternoon race to a new mid-morning start. If you think about being out on the course, and the things you see and hear, and run past - the 'stuff' that's legendary of the Boston Marathon, a 2-hour earlier race is actually a big deal. It'll be different out there. So, okay. Life changes. But the 2-wave thing really gets me. Boston is prestigious, historical, competitive, expensive . . . you could insert millions of adjectives. It's an honor to qualify and be allowed a chance to run. It takes a lot of hard work. It becomes about reaching goals and lifelong dreams. So then, you qualify. You meet your goals, you 'get there', you've done your work . . . and you get placed in wave 2 with the 'rest of the field'. What the heck is with that? Is that the real race? The real Boston? The race that makes all your dreams come true? Or is that just the second wave, after the crowds are done watching, and the results are done being scored. I mean, it's Boston, people work a lifetime to get there, and some people never have any hope of being one of 'the fastest 10,000 qualifiers'. Shouldn't they still get to run the same race as everyone else? Starting corrals will be different, media focus will be different, crowds and trains and parking will be different. Think how many more men than women will be in that first wave. It'd be one thing if they told you up front that it was like the Olympic Trials and there was an 'A' qualifying standard and a 'B' qualifying standard. But maybe I just missed that fine print somewhere.

To clarify . . I did qualify for Boston, and I did register. I could've chosen one of 3 marathon times to use for my 'qualifying' time. I chose to use one of my slower times, and save my faster Portland time because due to the date I ran that one, I could use it for Boston 2008 - to run the race again, or in case I get injured this year. The 'news' article that I reproduced above actually goes on to state that you can update your registration with a faster qualifying time until March 1st. So, my dilemma has become whether or not to use a time that is 10 minutes faster, and increase my chances to be in that first 10, 000 wave. In reality, I'm not going to want to go another year after this. I'd rather go run London or Eugene, OR. Why not submit the faster time, and let chips fall where they may. But I'm still mad. Not just for my own sake, but for the whole second half of the Boston field whether I'm in that group or not. It's just not Boston.

Traffic

2007-01-24T21:07:00.000-08:00

The sun came out today. I know that doesn't seem like a very bold statement, but after the gloomy weather lately, a little sunshine went a long way today. I was out on my run, waiting to cross at a pretty busy intersection. The cars on my right, were making a left turn from the turn lane onto the street I was waiting to cross. The green arrow turned to yellow, then red. My crosswalk signal turned green, so I went. I knew damn good and well that there was still a car turning - two of them in fact. Because it's a busy intersection, the first of those cars made it just past the crosswalk before traffic in front of it came to a stop, and it had to stop. Thus, the second car had to stop right at the crosswalk. Irritatedly, I put my arms up, as if to say, "Hello? Stoplight's red? Crosswalk? What were ya' thinkin' dude?" I laughed when I heard a car honk as I continued on my way, passing a bicyclist coming from the other direction. Then I promptly heard the cyclist respond to the driver, "Hey! Ya' dummy!" I laughed out loud so hard I had to stop running for a sec and catch my breath. Cyclists rule. I don't think I've ever heard a grown man call another grown man a 'dummy'. Every time I think about it I laugh again.

Then I got another half mile down the sidewalk and these two little toddlers were out with their vehicles. I think one was pushing a plastic lawnmower, the other was on a yellow plastic dumptruck. The first put out his hand to stop me like a traffic cop. He was making sure the sidewalk was safe for his friend to go by. See, so you know they learn all about traffic safetly when they're young, why do they forget it all when they grow up?

Skyward

2007-01-19T13:02:00.000-08:00

Shoshone Falls, near Twin Falls, Idaho

I'm always a fan of things in the sky -

At home, we affectionately refer to the Seattle cloudcover as Cumulus Abundus.
My husband proposed to me under an Autumn sky and our youngest child is named after a star in the Orion constellation we often watched out on evening walks back when we were dating.
I can recall sitting out on lawn chairs in the middle of the night during winter a couple of years back to watch the Aurora Borealis, and dragging a sleepy child out of bed to see it.
Last week we took the binoculars out to glimpse Comet McNaught against a magnificent winter sunset.
I love to watch the seagulls gliding and soaring on the wind high in the sky.
I love the snowflakes that fall like glitter, I love the smell of fresh raindrops, I love the falling leaves, and I love the summer sun.
Way back when I decided to write this post, I saw rainbows 4 days in a row (granted we have a lot of rain here in the Emerald City), but it was unusual, like some sort of sign that I should pay attention to.

And so . . . rainbows. It just makes sense that I'd wonder in awe about them - I always have. The fact that I have 3 little girls seems to amplify that somehow, and add something tender to my affection for rainbows.

I've often claimed that I've driven through the end of the rainbow, and have read accounts of others doing so. But it isn't possible, not really. I've done my research to make sure. And yet, who am I to let someone else dictate what is or isn't possible in my life? Things in the sky have a way of making me feel small sometimes, but not in a belittling way - more like I'm a small part of something so big it's thrilling to even try to comprehend.

Lots of things usually come up when you talk about rainbows. How many colors are there really, and is it purple or indigo? In your head you start humming the tune to 'Over the Rainbow' or 'The Rainbow Connection'. I know, it makes you feel sorta silly and kinda girly, but here's some trivia for you:
'Over the Rainbow' was first produced in the late 1930's (lyrics by EY Harburg, music by Harold Arlen). It became a symbol of home for US soldiers during WWII, and it tops the Songs of the Century List created by the Recording Industry Association of America. By my very modest estimates, it's been redone by about 125 artists (but in reality, more than double that) since way back when Dorothy (Judy Garland) sang it in the Wizard of Oz. 'The Rainbow Connection'
(written by Paul Williams & Kenneth Ascher) is a little more modern and makes you feel a little cooler, a little more hip, right? I mean, after all, that one's been remade by the Dixie Chicks, Jason Mraz, Willie Nelson, Kenny Loggins, Sarah McLachlan . . oh, and about 40 others. But guess who's credited with the original version? None other than Kermit the Frog for the Muppet Movie in 1979. That song received both oscar nominations and golden globe nominations in 1979 and was a huge radio hit. Both songs have been credited with a symbolism for the youth of their generation: a promise of hopes and fulfilling dreams amidst a yearning for what promises might lie ahead; a desire for something else, something better, something more satisfying.

So what's in a real rainbow? If you don't know, a rainbow is caused by rays of light that are bent as they enter a water droplet, and when they are refracted (bounced back the other direction), the light is separated into a color spectrum. By definition, a rainbow does not actually exist. It is considered merely an optical phenomenon seen only from the position of the observer. It's position is dictated by the position of the sun in relation to water droplets in the air, and the point of the observer. More specifically, "The position of a rainbow in the sky is always in the opposite direction of the Sun with respect to the observer. The bow is centered on the shadow of the observer's head, or more exactly at the antisolar point (which is below the horizon during the daytime), appearing at an angle of approximately 40°–42° to the line between the observer's head and its shadow." (wikipedia)
Scientifically you cannot reach the end of a rainbow. No two people see the exact same rainbow because they are at different vantage points. You can see the end of a rainbow from afar, and I've wondered so many what if's . . . if a cloud moved over the sun, and bent the sun rays at a different angle and they refracted and reflected through the curvature of the raindrops just at the moment you were moving toward the rainbow, could you reach it? . . . but it gets complex and there's still the laws of physics to contend with.

Kind of a funny thing - a rainbow is beautiful, colorful, isn't really there, and you can never reach it. Sort of an alluring fantasy, isn't it? But sort of like human nature in life. We seem to always wonder what's on the other side, what's out there, what more is there? How do we reach ultimate bliss and beauty in our lives? And yet, what we see, isn't the same as what anyone else sees. And tangibly, it doesn't exist at all. What one person perceives as eternal happiness, another person might not even notice.

Rainbows make me think, and they make me feel, and they leave me with a continuously unsolved mystery. For me, those are the important things in life. But that's me, and I suppose it's gotta be different for everyone else, doesn't it? A couple last notes . . if you've never heard Israel Kamakawiw'ole's version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful world, now would be a good time to listen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A2Jt4WOxN8) - it's amazing. And I can't seem to find where this quote came from, but is sure makes a lot of sense:
"We must each paint our rainbow from the colors we've been given."

Tao or Taos?

2007-01-05T11:05:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna move - to Taos, New Mexico. Oh, wait, that was just a wishful dream. When you live in a place that boasts 2 of the wettest months ever on record within the last year, and both of those months have been in the winter when the average day brings only 8 hourse of daylight and 16 hours of darkness, what else should one hope for? The temperature ranges from a 35 degree low to a 45 degree high. Not really cold enough for the thrill of snow, and not warm enough for much else. The constant forecast is partly cloudy with a chance of meatballs. Most days I live in smartwools, polar fleece, and a hat.

Rewind.

December 21st brought the winter solstice which means a gradual 6-month increase in daylight hours. Then Christmas happened and we went on vacation. Probably the best way to sum up vacation would be to link you to my getnout buddy's post to see the photographs. I'd have to say the highlights for me were: skiing up Thompson Ridge, learning and loving skate skis, seeing the glorious pink sunrises light up the sky and the hills across the valley from the cabin every morning, snowshoeing up to the top of Patterson Mountain - it was like being on top of the world, and the peacefulness of my solo showshoe through the cemetery down the road.

Running? Did I do that? Not really unless you count chasing my husband 1,000 ft. straight down Patterson Mtn. through 3 feet of snow, wearing snowshoes. It was sorta like trail running and I laughed most of the way down. Since December 24th, my only run has been Wednesday (2 days ago). I had to force the Wednesday run - all 3.6 miles of it - the missing .4 mile was when I decided it was much more enjoyable to walk along the beach and track the waves from the passing tanker as they started way out in the bay and finally crashed on shore.

I feel compelled to discuss the new year because - well, it's a new year - at least until Chinese New Year February 18th - and then it's all sort of confusing. My year has begun in sort of an awkard way. I rely a lot on technology in my life. My special order 'hard to find' earphones for my ipod have broken, our stereo isn't working very well, and my computer crashes right now after about 5 minutes of having any browser or any document open. No itunes, no net surfing, no blogging unless I am quick or hijack my husband's laptop. Life is quieter without music. Part of me wonders if it's like a message to me to focus on the quiet and solitude and theat there is something for me to learn there. I've been really into books on naturalists lately. I'm currently reading a book I borrowed from a friend on John Muir (a huge idol of mine since I was about 12 years old). I have another book that I had on reserve from the library - Silence and Solitude: Yellowstone's Winter Wilderness by Tom Murphy. The photos leave me in true amazement. It's ironic that at a time when I'm focusing on solitude, simplicity, and nature, that all of my technology toys should break.

I've long been pondering the idea of what to be when I grow up and find myself with an internal struggle for the current time in my life. I have a love of running - of the drive, the power, the endorphins, the struggle, the sweat, the goals, the times . . . I have a passion for nature - for reading and writing about it, but moreso for existing in it, and photographing it to freeze the moment for eternity - to always enjoy the beauty and peace from that given moment.

I love both of these things, but I feel that in my world, they are opposite extremes, and if I lean too far one direction, I'll lose the other. Thus, I sit in the middle and don't give my whole self to either one. I feel like if I go crazy and really train to my ability that I'll lose the passive side of myself - the nature lover. And I feel that if I relax and take time capturing the stillness of nature, that I'll slow down too much and lose sight of the ambitions of running. I know these thoughts might seem illogical - but they're how I feel. My resolutions for the new year are to find a balance somewhere within myself and allow myself to live all of what I love, right from the heart, every single day.

And I want to learn to play chess . . it's a long story with my daughter - sort of a deal someone suggested we make - that if she learned to type on a qwerty keyboard with proper finger positions instead of the hunt and peck method, then I would finally learn to play a game that she loves.

Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year

2006-12-25T18:50:00.000-08:00

Snowflakes in the air
Sparkling glitter from the sky
Magic all around

(the haiku I wrote for the front of our Christmas card this year - complete with periwinkle blue snowflakes on white glitter paper, inspired by Haiku Thursdays)

The season had finally come and gone, and the last day is winding down. Amidst all the chaos, I've had this photo on my desktop for the last several weeks. It has put me at peace and made me feel like there were always candles burning with warmth and hope. As for now, we're packing skis and the dog and heading out very early to head over to the cabin, hoping to stay ahead of the approaching snow storm. I'm looking forward to snowdrifts and skiing, hot cocoa and books by the fire, deer out wandering in the evening, and wondering if I'll get in a run the whole week. It's been a fun and zany holiday season, and I'm looking forward to returning to a little bit of normalcy and catching up on missed blog time when the kids go back to school. I still have a post to write on rainbows, one on 'cause and effect', and an apology to my male runner friends who I called 'extras' in my last post. (I've had a lot of thinking time during my 5 am runs these past couple of weeks.) Hope you and yours have had a great holiday season ~ Be Safe, and Have an Excellent New Years! See ya' next year! -Ginger

12k's of Christmas

2006-12-19T06:51:00.000-08:00

I was sorely reminded on my run this morning, that "oh yeah, i ran a race on sunday". (if i can be so brave as to call it that)

I rememeber getting up on time, and it was really cold and I could only find one of my wool running socks. The other has been missing for a few weeks, but I thought maybe a miracle would happen - no such luck. We left later than we'd planned - we have three kids and it was cold and early and their winter vacation to sleep in. No worries. I didn't really train for this race. I honestly wanted to do it for what's in the picture - the shirt. I figure I can go to the store and buy a cheesy holiday shirt, or I can pay the same money and go for a run. I saw the logo a long time ago and registered 'cause I like the artwork on the shirts. Pretty funny.

So we finally get to the race and park and pick up my race number and I have about 5 minutes 'til the start - so much for a warm-up. And so much for the porta-potty line. No stress, I mean it when I say I didn't train for this one - I've been running about 20 miles a week, no speedwork. With everything from flooding to ice and snow to wind and power outages - my schedule and the school cancellations have been crazy. So now a week before the big holiday and then a week skiing - maybe I'll train next year. hehehe

Okay, this race I did . . . I got into the start corral - freezing - I don't know how Danielle runs in MN - her last race post said there were 5,000 runners and it was 10 degrees and windy at the start. It was probably only around 30 degrees for my race. A couple of women jumped into the corral next to me and one said to the other, "try to blend in". They laughed - obviously not your typical runners, just out for a holiday run, having no idea what they were getting themselves into - they were ooh-ing and aah-ing over my nifty tech-fabric shirt I had on. So, the race started and off we went. During the first mile, 2 things happened: we passed a turn-around point, and I saw my first mile split on my watch. At the turn-around I could count the women in front of me - I don't know why I did it - boredom, I guess. I was the 40th woman. I sorta laughed, but it sorta ignited something in me, and my competitive side wanted nothing of it. My first mile split was 8:15, and as any good pace chart can tell me - I ran my last marathon a hair faster than that pace. So then the course took us by the start area. I saw my family - threw my hat, waved and smiled. I wanted to say, "My feet are numb, I really need to go to the bathroom, and do you know how slow this pace is?" I wanted to slap a little mitten, but there was a cop in the road between me and them. Oh well. On my merry way I went. The 12k's were marked with hand-drawn signs depicting the quotes from the song - "seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, etc. That little competitive fire in me took over and I spent the remainder of the k's picking people off. It became my focus to see how far down I could get that number from the original 40th. It was easy at first, but the further along we went, the more spread out we were, and the harder I had to work. It wasn't any fun to pass guys - they didn't count in my mind - just extras. The course was a wee bit hilly, too, but I like that - a good variety makes for a nice muscle change-up every now and then. I clocked one of my downhill surge miles at 6:30 pace - hmmmm. My husband laughed at me after I finished - "I thought you said you were just gonna run easy . . " He knows me better. All in all, it made for a great workout - I need to put some more road races on my calendar and not prepare for them - I think I get a lot more out of it. I can pick a big race or two to train for and stress and fret about, but it's so much fun to have a race for a hard workout. I finished up in 13th - I think there were about 300 women .

Place Div/Tot Bib # Name Age City/state Net Time Gun Time Pace
13 4/114 53 Ginger Breadman 36 Seattle WA 54:34 54:52.4 7:22

My kids' favorite part was the candy-canes for post-race food. Me, too. I don't know if I've ever run this distance, so I can't compare my time - but I don't think it equates very high when I compare it to my best 10k's. I must've run hard, though, 'cause I was pretty sore this morning. It's gonna give me an itch to maintain through the rest of the year, and then crank up my training some in the new year and find some more races to run.

The Truths of the Season

2006-12-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

Joe tagged me with this fun one, so here goes:

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? Either one with coffee and kahlua
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? both, i think - sometimes they are left by the fireplace - i imagine after an all night job, it's a lot easier after he comes down the chimney
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? usually white lights on house and trim, alternate years with the tree - this year is colored, and blinking, and the children usually prefer that
4. Do you hang mistletoe? 'Mistletoe is the common name for various parasitic plants in the order Santalales' - would you hang something with that name in your home?
5. When do you put your decorations up? Thanksgiving weekend
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? don't have a favorite to eat - like to try new things
7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? a letter was divided into three and my 2 siblings and I each received a piece in our stocking. When we put it together, it was a list of clues to find a hidden kitten which was our Christmas present
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? As soon as I was old enough to walk and talk, I learned there was a Santa Claus who brought magic to Christmas. There is no other truth.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? no way! that's cheating! okay, my parents celebrate the holiday with extended family christmas eve, so we do, but never ones under our own tree
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? traditional ornaments from family past and ones the children have made - also lots of glass
11. Snow! Love it or dread it? love it - the excitement in watching it come down, to enjoy the beauty, and to cross-country ski in it
12. Can you ice skate? yes, somewhat
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? no, just the excitement
14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you? the magic, the music, the lights, family
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? almond roca from a passed down family recipe
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? making gingerbread houses
17. What tops your tree? a star, definitely
18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? giving
19. What is your favorite Christmas song? Do they Know It's Christmas - the original Band-Aid
20. Candy canes? they were great 'after-race' food yesterday at the 12k
21. Favorite Christmas movie? The Grinch, and the one with the abominable snowman
22. What do you leave for Santa? cookies, truffles, rice milk, and carrots and oats for the reindeer

So, now you've read it . . . TAG! You're it! C'mon, join in the fun!

Scramble, Jingle-Jangle, Slip'n'slide, Chinese, Hannukah & Solstice

2006-12-10T20:32:00.000-08:00

Scramble - yes, did that - loads of fun at Pike Place and beyond. got in three miles with three kids in two hours (got in 17 checkpoints in the rain with a total of 460 points - pretty amazing, and great family fun!)

Jingle-Jangle - spectated that one - crazy massive sea of red-shirted runners with jingle bells and santa hats and you-name-it Christmas costumes. the abominable snowman was definitely my favorite. there were 8,000 runners in the 2nd of three waves of participants. The highight for our 11-yr-old runner was when the crowd of runners entered the tunnel while running on the vacated freeway, and promptly broke into a chorus of 'Jingle Bells'.

Slip'n'slide - hmmm, sorta did that - went ice-skating. Mind you, I live in the Emerald City, nothing with icy diamonds. so for an ice-rink during the holidays you'll have to use your imagination. It was a blast and my feet aren't as sore as I thought they'd be. My friend likely has a tremendously large bruise that occurred when she fell when the young delinquent boys knocked her over. ice-skating . . . what a hoot.

Chinese - damn the Kung Pao was good, and the martini hit the spot. That was yesterday with mom and sisters for lunch, and I'm going to the exact same restaurant for dinner tomorrow with friends. And you know what? I think I'll order the exact same thing. Why not? It was most excellent. it's a humorous study on sociology - where people like to go when they come in from out of town to visit the city during the holidays.

Hannukah - ah, heck, why not? our friends invited us to a party at sundown Friday when the holiday begins and I really don't know a lot about the celebration. how cool to be invited to be part their community, their friends, their family. I think the kids will get a chance to expand their world just a little . .

Solstice - wow, saw a really cool rehearsal today for the solstice festival @ the international fountain @ Seattle Center - some sort of dance interpretation, soloist performers, and acapella singing - and supposedly they're having a parade of lights with luminaria and wishes for the new year. I love lights. I might have to get it on that festival somehow.

Oh, and I saw the end of a rainbow today.

I need to fit in a long run tomorrow somehow - but the good news is that I got new shoes this week - amazing before and after experience between the old and the new pair.

'Tis the Season

2006-12-04T09:26:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh, yes . . . the holidays in full swing. I love the holiday season. I could care less about Christmas itself, other than the delight and true mystery it brings to children - but that, too can be classified as part of the season, and not Christmas itself.

To me, Christmas often seems like a lot of excess. There is so much shopping for things that really aren't needed, so much wrapping and garbage from the wrapping, so much food, and so much food that doesn't get eaten. It's easy to get caught up in the glitz and glam of it all - it seems almost expected. People want your Christmas list and you ask it of others. Heaven forbid you know the person well enough that you actually spend time considering the person and what they actually might like or want or need. Instead of simply eating, so much time and energy is spent on entertaining foods - fancy things you only eat once a year, food as decorations. And I think for me, Christmas Day itself represents the end to a special time of year, and things have to go back to the way they were. Sometimes that's sad.

I don't mean to be such a scrooge. I think it's hard for me: I love the season for other things that it stands for, and for the tradition, but at the same time, so much of that extra stuff goes against my better judgements and my morals.

I love the magic of the Christmas season, and amidst all the chaos, I hope that's what we, as parents, convey the most to our children. I love the spirit of giving - not for the junk because you want to give SOMEthing, but for the thought and time and energy that goes into that one special gift that you are so excited to give. I love the lights at Christmas time - on the trees, on the houses, in the city, all the candles, the miniature Christmas villages . . . they all seem to represent a unified beauty, a symbol of hope, and a magical time in the air. I love Santa Claus for all that he represents. My husband described it well to our 11-yr-old yesterday: it's something that everyone chooses for themselves whether or not to believe in, and what it represents for them. He said to think of it as a spirit like a god or a buddha and what it means in your own life. I'll always believe in Santa Claus, because to me it represents magic and a reminder of things in our world so mystical that we'll never fully understand. I love the snow this time of year because it's peaceful and quiet and it's beauty is an awesome thing to behold.

Some parts of the holidays, I take part in because of tradition. I feel like that's hypocritical. I guess, although they might not follow my everyday structure of living, and frustrate me for that reason, they might make others happy - and that, I need to remember, is giving something that others enjoy and might define their holiday season, just as I try to define what mine is.

So what does Ginger Breadman do during the holidays? I'm going to attempt to do what makes me happy, and what makes my family happy. Somewhere in there is a compromise.

The season always kicks off with Thanksgiving weekend, because it's always also a weekend of our oldest child's birthday, our wedding anniversary, and the Seattle Marathon. That weekend we also cut down our Christmas Tree at a tree farm out in the country - complete with roaming farm animals, wagons to pull the kids and the tree through the property, and honey from the bees. And that weekend we went to see the fancy gingerbread houses, and the tree lighting. Things that symbolize the holidays. This last weekend we went to visit out-of-town relatives and friends and see their special lighted Christmas displays they're so proud of, and visit Santa Claus.

So what's left? The house is decorated, the village is set out, the lights are up, holiday music is playing . . .

~we'll make almond roca for gifts - a coveted family recipe, and a passed-down tradition

~we'll make a gingerbread house the children and their cousins will eat Christmas eve - it's a tradition I've done since I was a little girl, but now as an adult who appreciates the art form, it's hard to see the waste of leftovers, but something the children look so forward to

~we'll go see the lighted Christmas ships and hear the caroling, and sip hot drinks with the people on the beach by the bonfire - it's been a tradition since we were married

~we'll go to 2 holiday road races and a street scramble

~we'll go see the eagles nesting on the river - a winter time favorite

~I'll have holiday tea time with the women in my family - a tradition as long as I've been an adult

~we'll take a drive and walk to see the holiday light displays

~we'll do something special for my husband's birthday on the 22nd, so it doesn't get lost in the holiday shuffle

~we'll make truffles and bake cookies because it rocks the world of my children

Somewhere in all that, we'll try to pretend there is peace on earth . . . the children will go to school, my husband will go to work, we'll go running and to the gym, we'll fit in ballet and basketball and chess club, we'll cook dinner, read stories . . . and come Christmas day, I'll actually be exhausted and looking forward to a break from it. And hopefully I'll be able to reflect on the joys of it all, and have new memories to reflect on throughout the next year.

Seattle Marathon, Part III: Mile 20.7

2006-11-26T14:45:00.000-08:00

When we left the house this morning, there was a dusting of wet snow on the ground, and it had begun to rain, at a nice, balmy 33°. Perfect marathon weather.

~running tights

~silk long-sleeved running shirt

~long sleeved cotton shirt

~long sleeved thermal Patagonia ski shirt

~polar fleece top

~canvas-type cargo pants

~smartwool socks

~insulated waterproof boots

~goretex coat

~ski hat

~goretex insulated ski gloves

~second goretex goat

~second pair of insulated ski gloves

Did I run the marathon? Hell no! In that weather? I thought it'd be much more fun to stand on the side of the road for 6 hours with a neon vest on.

Ahhh, yes . . Course Marshal, Mile 20.7. And I got to choose the location. Last year we were one block up at 20.8. Either way it's along mile 20, in the middle of the most grueling hill on the Seattle Marathon Course. And I honestly used all of those clothes. Goretex works until it gets saturated enough to drip onto your pants that aren't goretex, then you need to switch to coat #2. It rained nearly the whole time the runners and walkers were out there - there were two short breaks, and once it hailed or snowed, I'm not sure which. I'm just amazed at the ability of all of those participants to withstand the elements. One of my friends that ran the half passed out at the finish line and was put in the med. tent for a while. I can just imagine how chilled to the bone all of those people were at the finish, and how stressed it made the medical personnel. What saved me, was my daughter joining me for the duration (in and out of the warm parked car) to keep me company, and my husband bringing me warm soup and coffee and relieving me for a short break.

It's actually a pretty cool thing to be able to stand there and watch the looks on all of those faces as they run by. Some are seasoned Seattle-ites and could care less if it's cold and rainy; some are seasoned marathoners and don't need your assistance or advice - they're in the 'zone'; some are complete newbies and have a horrific look on their face as they come up that hill. The real job there is to keep vehicular cross-traffic off the race course, but some runners are so grateful to have someone standing there telling them something - anything - positive to help get them up and over that hill. Their ability to experience what they were going through and continue on was truly inspiring - and I'll keep them all in mind next time I think I feel tired when I'm running a marathon.

Lucky for me, I love a sport where I can spectate free for six hours on the best part of the course!

I took the day off from running. I'm home and warm and dry. It's snowing again outside and my husband went for a run in it. Time for me to get out decorations for this big green tree we cut down yesterday and brought into the living room. 'Tis the season!

Seattle Marathon, Part II: Kids Marathon

2006-11-25T20:11:00.000-08:00

No rain in Seattle today
Three thousand kids and all of their support crews
Awesome finish into Memorial Stadium under the Space Needle
Today is our 13th wedding anniversary - we were actually married on Thanksgiving Day like Katy & Mark (the toast people - Happy Anniversary guys!)

Seattle Marathon, Part I: The Expo

2006-11-24T20:03:00.000-08:00

Seattle Marathon weekend got off to a great start, handing out goodie bags and shirts at the race expo. The kids actually looked forward to this after doing it last year. It's a great way to teach them to give back to the sport a little bit. (And they have a blast taking work breaks to peruse the expo and score lots of swag.) We followed that up with a downtown day of: peppermint cocoas at Starbucks, a ride on the holiday carousel, peeking at Santa through the big glass windows, and viewing the gingerbread houses created by top executive chefs. They were so amazing! The highlights of the day were the downtown tree lighting complete with christmas choirs and fireworks, and watching it snow indoors (they might only use bubbles, but the show is fantastic - you should've seen the kids) in a 5+story shopping center with a glass roof. What a day, I'm exhausted! Downtown in the city is so much fun during the holidays. Tomorrow is the Seattle Kids Marathon. The children are to have accumulated 25 miles on their own over the course of the last couple of months, and then they all come together to run the last 1.2 miles on the marathon course. It's a blast - they've done it several years now. And - it's supposed to 'not rain' for a couple of hours in the morning - maybe we'll be lucky. The full Seattle Marathon in Sunday - the current forecast is 36° and rain/snow mixed with a 10-15 mph wind. Lovely. Four to six hours into the marathon it's supposed to be just snow and 37°. Maybe I oughtta stand on the side of the road and hand out hot chocolate . . .

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-23T21:09:00.000-08:00

Point Brown off Grays Harbor

Ocean Shores, Washington, USA

Burnout?

2006-11-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

A funny thing happened yesterday. There was a comment on my post that suggested I had reached burnout. And I got mad. (no offense to Anne's comment - it was a good thing, and exactly what I needed) I had to ask myself, "Am I burnt out?" and "why?" Part of it is sick kids - I love having them home, but when they were all home sick it was a real drag, and I lacked room to breathe. But beyond that . . .

I got mad and went for a run. It was a great run in the dark in absolutely pouring rain. (It''s November in Seattle, where - as of yesterday - we just hit the record of the highest rainfall on record for a single month - and there are still 9 days left in the month.) It's always dark and always wet, but it was kinda cool last night 'cause I couldn't see the puddles, which made for a nice surprise quite frequently. And when I stopped for a drink of water from the fountain I didn't have to wipe my face off because I was already drenched and dripping.

While I was out there stewing about why I'm burnt out, and what my problem is . . . I finally realized something. I'm not injured, I have available time, and I love my dirty running shoes and grubby clothes to workout in. Instead of wondering what my problem is, and how do I fix it, I decided to consider what my strengths are and how I'm going to embrace them.

I really thought about all of the comments on my post yesterday - people are amazing when they share their thoughts. Thanks.

An Open Box

2006-11-20T22:26:00.000-08:00

I've been in a questioning sort of mode lately. Trying to figure out what I want out of running - out of life, what I wanna do next week, next month, next year. Thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. The truth is, there are just so many choices, how do you pick and choose? I think it all got overwhelming to me, so I took a break from it - all of it.

It's like I've spent the last couple of weeks in a box. (I've had really sick kids at home for a few weeks, so that skews all normal perspectives to begin with.) But I've been avoiding really dealing with my thoughts. Not like depression - my friend described it more like a cocoon where you go into waiting in preparation for something. I think I've been really fortunate to accomplish the things I've done in life, and to learn from the experiences I've had. But now what? Some people plan and have goals and become so focused on the road ahead that they miss all of the side streets. Some people spend so much time browsing the side streets that they never reach their destination. I guess I'm not into browsing, but I'm not ready to form a new destination, either. So one would think that you should carry on and let life lead you. But I have an itch for so much more right now. An itch for what, I don't know. I have so many passions and my inner spirit seems to transform and change and grow exponentially by the day. The idea of what I want to do next is starting to consume my thoughts.

But then there's always today to think about. The present. I started my training for Boston last week. And if it's not Boston, it'll be Eugene. It always seems it's the easy training goals that I can't meet, and the harder ones that come easy. I really want to focus on my cross-training. The gym is about a quarter mile from my house - it's faster to walk than drive and park. Pool. Weights. Cardio stuff. Indoor Track. Yoga. Childcare. Open early. Open late. My job is my family, and although it's very busy, it's very very flexible. So why aren't I meeting my cross-training goals? I've met all of my running workout and mileage goals even though my legs hurt because I need new shoes and haven't bought any. You'd think I'd cross-train. Of course, there is a newly surfaced track also a quarter mile from my house, and the beach is down the street. Go figure. Inside? Outside? Outside. I do have a bike, but it's very wet out there and I'd simply rather run. I think I need to start an incentive plan. (There's also a new drive-thru Starbucks being built less than a quarter mile from my house. Incentives . . hmmm)

Thanksgiving is coming up. I boycotted it this year. I'm thankful for that. We're going to play at the beach for the day. And I don't mean the beach. I mean THE beach. We're going to take the day and drive to the mighty Pacific Ocean to play. I'm so excited. I really need to get out and play. We went to the cabin over the weekend, and the snow was most excellent, but it just wasn't enough outside time. I think maybe we'll have pizza for dinner and watch a movie on Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for our little family, and that's exactly who I want to spend the day with. This weekend is also our wedding anniversary and the Seattle Marathon weekend. I'm not running, but it's a weekend event for us. Maybe that'll give me something to write about later this week.

And my great reads for the week - The Alchemist by Paulo Coelo, The Extra Mile - an autobiography by ultrarunner Pam Reed, and Clearcut by Nina Shengold. (Told you I've been in a box for a while.) They're all vastly different and fascinatingly enlightening in different ways.

Water, water, everywhere - not a drop to spare

2006-11-07T21:54:00.000-08:00

One can hope that maybe it's Noah's Ark, but in truth, this is someone's house taken away by the Cowlitz River. There are so many stories in the news, in the paper - flood warnings on 19 rivers, rivers cresting, community evacuations, levee breaks, shelter openings, road closures, school closures . . . so many photos of the damage and water filling streets and houses and cutting off towns with no roads in or out, but none that make the point so boldly as this particular photo.

Seattle . . called the Emerald City in the Evergreen State - I wonder what makes the plants so green?

Truths of the day:

~ during flooding, a river can carve a brand new route for itself - actually reroute itself - right through a neighborhood full of homes.
~ the rain is decreasing (actually it just went south to Oregon), but the rivers here are still rising and another weather front is expected later this week

I'm sitting here in fascination with the raw power of water. It's really amazing what it can do - just water - a couple of molecules thrown together. I'm always so fascinated by it - in awe of it's beauty and strength and the changes each new tide brings. I've never lived in fear of it and seen close-up how much energy lives within it.

"Till taught by pain, men know not water's worth"
-Lord Byron

marathon dreams

2006-11-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

I had some weird dreams last night. Maybe it was the Winterhook - 'tis the season. I dreamt I was at the NYC marathon. Somehow when I was running yesterday I started thinking about it. In my dream, there was a stopping point at the 17 mile mark - under some freeway interchange. We were asked to stop at the large water station that looked more like a concert venue. I figured I didn't need water, but the officials held me back, too. No one was allowed to continue, and water wasn't being served. It was unclear whether they were out of water, or simply making us wait. The officials all seemed to have no concern about the fact that no one was being given water, no one was getting water - and none of the runners seemed the least bit bothered by it. I remember being so annoyed at the ridiculous thought of waiting around 20 minutes at mile 17 for no reason. My dream fast-forwarded to after the race - in this part of the dream I wasn't a runner, but a volunteer. I was speaking with a man who had run. He was an older black man - probably around 75 - of the variety that has lived a little and has great stories to tell if you stay a while. This man told me he had run a 2:20, and he was waiting for water. The finishers were sitting in folding chairs near a stage area, and were being 'served' water. I went to ask one of the wait staff if I could take the man some water, but was told they were out at the moment. I convinced the staff that when water came in, to please take some to the older gentleman first. That's all I remember of my dream.

My run yesterday was in the rain - lots and lots of rain. Usually when one lives in the northwest, one looks forward to the rain this time of year, only to forget that once it starts, it will continue through next June. I had such a great run yesterday, though - I love the rain. Many streets and rivers in the area are forecast to flood later today and into tomorrow, and I relished in all the water. I love to get wet and muddy and puddle stomp. I was feeling so lucky to be able to live where I live and run where I run. Within a mere 9 mile run, I was able to add in muddy trail running in a wooded park all to myself, and 4 miles of saltwater beach with a little ways actually on the sand along Alki. I love beach runs. One day last week I was out running in the wee early morning hours and noticed the low tide. Really low tide = cookie runs on the sand. Once summer is over, it is a rare opportunity. There is always sand right on the main beach - less than a half mile to run on, but I'm talking tide low enough to add an extra 2.5 miles on the sand for an out and back. Pure solitude. Pristine untainted sand like a blank slate for my fresh footprints. Up close and personal with the herons out fishing and sometimes the eagles. Weaving through the section of barcacled rocks and seaweed. Chancing fate with the waves rushing toward my feet. It's all such a high for me. When I came back from running, I looked up the tide charts to see when my next opportunity would be, only to discover there isn't a tide low enough in my waking hours for the rest of the year. I just got lucky the other day.

Today I haven't run yet - just keeping tabs on NYC - and athlete tracker won't load for me - such a bummer. I'll have to check Josh and Steph's blogs later, or look up the results when it's all over. Or keep refreshing tracker, or keep refreshing marathonguide.com for updated results or tune to NBC later and hope for the hour of late race coverage. There isn't anything else pressing to do on a Sunday morning.

Time Passages

2006-10-30T09:49:00.000-08:00

Time Passages was stuck in my head during my run yesterday. I sat around all day feeling crummy then forced myself to go running at 4:00 because I had an hour left before the new early sunset. There's something about fall that brings back memories for me. It could be the chill in the air or the smells drifting in the breeze, but I think it's a combination of feelings. Or maybe it's all because I've been sick and been forced to run really slow and have time to think.

My first real road race by myself was in the fall. I think I ran the Gold Coast 2 miler with a friend in the summer just before - must've been 1981. I ran the Fallfest Classic likely in October of 1981. Somewhere around here in a box I have a medal with an orange ribbon - I think I was first in my age division. I'm guessing it was a 5 miler or a 10k - I'm not sure. But I remember what it felt like to run back then. It was different in so many ways, but still the same somehow.

I grew up in Bellevue, Washington, USA. I started out running on a 2 mile out and back to Yarrow Point. Sometimes I ran a further out and back to Hunts Point - home to the Nordstrom family (my best friend lived next door to them), and Steve Miller of the Steve Miller Band. My 4 and 5 mile loops went through Medina where Bill Gates now lives in his compound. The reason I know those distances were that long was because my dad told me and I believed him. I never measured them in the car (I was too young to drive). I didn't have any map software - nobody even had home computers yet. I have no idea how fast I ran - I didn't own a stopwatch - let alone a wristwatch. (In fact, my first watch was won at my first half-marathon in 1985. I had lettered the previous year in both cross-country and track, and I desperately wanted a letter jacket. My dad made a deal with me that he would pay for the jacket if I ran a half-marathon. I received the watch not because I ran fast, but because I was the youngest finisher that day. It was the Latitude 47° Half-Marathon which is still run today, but called the Super Jock n Jill Half-Marathon because of it's sponsor. The race finished at a winery, and they also gave out wine glasses with the race logo on them. One broke, but my other currently sits on our kitchen windowsill with spare change in it for parking.) I used to take my dog running on pretty much all of my runs. There were no leash laws so she roamed free - always had to be ahead of me, and didn't like to be passed. I ran through a park with a pond at a half-way point and she used to love to charge at all the ducks swimming in the water. She loved to chase other dogs and bark lots too - just for sport, she was a really friendly dog named Blue after a famous hunting dog. People yelled at me every now and then when she barked and chased, and they got angry, but I was just a kid - I did't really care all that much. I just called her back and we went on our merry way. I never had any concrete training plans, workouts, build-ups, tapers, race-strategies - I just ran. My older brother took me out on a hill circuit one time before high-school. We both reminisce and laugh about the fact that half-way through it I puked cause I pushed myself so hard - then I finished the rest of the hills. Another time he convinced me to go for a run in the middle of a hot summer day - just a couple of miles. We ended up going out 8 miles (I must've been 13 or 14 yrs old - probably never had run more than 6 miles - and that was only for a race), and we stopped at a friend's house and convinced him to drive us back home. When I started running on teams, I ran what the coach told me to run. I never questioned the training or how it would affect my racing. I don't think I even thought about it.

As I run today, the triggers that bring it all back are things in the air and all around. Things that remain constant year after year - the things of change. Leaves are falling and remain stamped all over the ground with the recent rain. A new squad of football players is out practicing on the field with lots of hollering and whistle-blowing. No matter what time of day you run, you can smell someone cooking and a fireplace warming someone's house. The smells seem to drift out into the cold and mix with the chilly air - teasing you as you run along. The early frost on the ground comes back every year. The sun returns to a slanted angle and filters the sunlight with an almost orange hue.

I think I get so involved with all of the logistics of running, that I forget the real enjoyment of it sometimes. I think my sickness has been a great thing for my running. I just get out and go without thinking about the mileage or the time or any upcoming races. I just run . . . and I love it. Somehow the training happens because you go by feel. You still have those days that you run hard and the ones that you run easy. You still feel sore and you still feel inspired. But you love it all a little bit more and it doesn't seem to feel like homework or a chore.

Funny that our oldest childest is now 10 - almost 11 - the same age I was when I started running. She begs me to take her running. She's done kid distance road races. She's done kid mini-triathlons. Some of her friends run, her sisters run, her cousins run. This year will be the 3rd year that she'll do the Seattle kids marathon. She doesn't own a watch. She doesn't drive a car to check mileage and doesn't use the map software. We live in the city and I don't think I've ever let her run out on the roads by herself. She loves the rain, she loves to stomp in the leaves and throw them in the air. She loves weather and never seems to get cold. She loves to chat about everything on her mind while she's running. She loves to run on trails. She simply loves to run. Maybe I'll take her with me tomorrow.

Take Notice

2006-10-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

I think I'm a fairly distracted individual most of the time - sorta scatterbrained - maybe just so busy most of the time it's hard to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing or where I'm supposed to be going from one moment to the next. I think about blogging a lot. I'm a thinker - pretty deep and intense thoughts run through my head in addition to the distracted chaos. I'm constantly thinking about things to blog about . . . interesting topics, tidbits from my day, things I think about on my runs. But then when I sit to write, the ideas never seem as grand. The tidbits seem trivial. I can't focus to write something eloquent like I want to do. And yet - I still feel like I have so much to say most of the time - or so much to write, I guess. We even use the term 'blogworthy' around the house a lot - things that come up that are funny or amazing that seem important enough to blog about - like the crab that came home last week from Pike Place Market - damn it was good!

While I was running today, I was thinking about all this - thinking about all the things I think about and wishing I could write about them and have it all sound the way I want. Really wishing that I could figure out exactly what it is I want to write about. And I think somewhere in there, I discovered my issue. It isn't just one profound thing I want to say - it's way too many profound things.

I live in a world with so much going on all the time - and I don't want to miss anything, or forget anything, or take anything for granted. I want to take it all in and do something with it all. It's an impossible idea. Sometimes I think about what I want to be when I grow up, but I have a hard time choosing between too many options because I want to try everything. This whole idea is the basic underlying theme of why I'm a runner - why I love to be a runner. I get to see and hear and feel and experience and think and process and have pain and euphoria and emotion all at the same time. It's a powerful thing.

Some days, I like to watch the world around me when I'm running. Today was one of those days. I think I'd like to call it a little bit of life. I passed some people staring off at the ground - seemingly grumpy at the day. I saw parents with strollers out for companionship. There was a couple on the beach picking up seashells. Lots of people were out walking their dogs - the dogs sniffing at meeting one another. There was an otter swimming just off shore - he dove under and I never could see where he came up again. The harbor seals were out barking on the bouy. I passed several pieces of dead crabs that the seagulls were apparently through with, and a couple of fishermen on a pier. Several scuba divers were heading out with their air tanks, and dressed head to toe with all kinds of equipment. I watched people heading into a fancy restaurant, meeting for an early lunch. The tide was really high - but it isn't a full moon - interesting to note. I ran along the sand and let the waves chase me as I zigzagged my way across the beach. Tankers were coming into the bay - ferries were heading out. A little old man stopped me and asked me how to get to the park - he was about 3 miles away, so it was a long description and a good chat. We talked about the park, and about his previous bike ride in the area, and about his friend at an appointment . . . sorta funny when you just strike up a conversation with a person but sorta what makes the world go 'round too. It was a really grey cloudy morning - pretty typical where I live from now until next spring. The kind of day in the kind of place where seasonal depression is common and staying in bed under the covers seems preferable to venturing out into the day.

But out on that run, it wasn't just that all of this stuff was occurring around me, but it was having an effect on me as I processed it all. It was sparking my thoughts, forming my opinions, shaping my ideas . . and that's the way life works - if you let it. Some people - like the first people I saw when I was running - seem to shut it all out and tend to only look within. But . . . when you open up your eyes and take notice of what's around you, amazing things happen. You open yourself up to a connection with the world and the people and things that it's full of. There's so much out there, that it really is impossible to take it all in, but why not get as much as you can from it? Take notice.

Sick

2006-10-24T13:23:00.000-07:00

I'm sick of being sick. I feel like I've hardly read blogs in a week. JustRun had a birthday, Bob ran under 3:40 for his first time out - Chicago happened, Kona happened, the Seahawks lost, the Seattle School District halted it's closures and the Superintendant quit, . . . is the world series over yet? And now it's almost Halloween. The other morning when I got up I felt so yucky, all I wanted was a cup of coffee and the newspaper. I moved two wineglasses out of the way to get to the coffee and I dropped one - shattered . . sink, floor . . mess. After I cleaned all that up, I finally poured my coffee and sat down with the paper. I leaned back and knocked over a carousel/music box/glass water globe - shattered . . everywhere . . . water, glitter, fine glass . . mess. Great morning. Yesterday I was taking out the trash - with the broken glass in it. The bag (with a piece of sharp broken wine glass already cutting through the bag, at the moment unknown to me) scraped my leg and the glass took a nice chunk out of my calf. Nice. It took forever to stop bleeding, but I survived. Then the school called and one of my children took a dive into a planter box on the school playground - with her face. She was a much bigger mess than me, but she survived too.

All is well, but I'm still sick. I'm cold and I'm tired and wet weather has decided to stay in the northwest. I haven't run in 4 days and I don't feel like running today. I did lift weights twice last week - that was good. And I did get in a beautiful run last week at the Arboretum. (The Seattle Marathon runs through there - but in November it won't be quite as beautiful.) It was so nice, I took the kids there later for a walk. The last pretty days of fall . . .

Fall Activities

2006-10-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

Crazy crazy weekend. Multisport Man had a mountain bike duathlon, and as part of the support crew, I got to stay up late and drink fine wine with friends, then play in the park the next day cheering for the competitors while they were getting really muddy.

It's that time of year again. I've been thinking about getting out my costume.
I really am a gingerbread man, you know.

Okay - here's my edit to the post. I zoomed in on the photo, because apparently it wasn't obvious that it's a ginger breadman - although it's blurry, now you can make out the buttons and a little bit of the frosting. And these pictures were taken last year - this year I've tried to convince my children that for Halloween I'm simply going to dress up 'invisible'. Although, I've sorta toyed with Peter Pan or being a jester. Peter Pan because I can pretend I have Tinkerbell's pixie dust and sprinkle glitter everywhere - I love glitter with a passion, and a jester simply because it becomes highly entertaining once you've had a few cocktails. I really do love the ginger breadman costume - just don't know where it is, and not sure I feel like running a road race between now and the holiday. But then if you wanna talk holidays, ginger breadman really likes Christmas because that's how Ginger came to be. Maybe that's another post - this edit is longer than the post itself.

I can run.

2006-10-14T00:18:00.000-07:00

I went running this week. I think the whole week off after the marathon was a good thing. I needed a break from running in my head more than anything - my training hadn't been overly intense, but I'd had marathons on my mind for too long. Then again, once I learned what it was like to have other crud filling my mind, I'll choose running any day. So I did every other day this week. I'm not sure if I'm gonna run tomorrow - I'd have to get up in precisely 4 hours and 42 minutes to run, due to the schedule of the day. Insane - sort of, but it'd be my sanity. There are 3 extra children sleeping in my house at the moment - giggly girls all still awake. I can't really seem to keep track of the coming and goings or how many munchkins I have in tow at once - today it varied from 2-6. After tomorrow's soccer game we'll be headed out of town to stay with friends for my husband's duathlon. This is what life is like in a gingerbread house - never dull. My 6-year-old was actually excited to help me clean toilets today. Life is such a mystery.

My first run this week was the crisp, clear, fall day I needed. I ran along the beach, passed all walks of like, and let the lyrics of my music trigger the thoughts and emotions. I had a lot going on in my head this week - all that stuff from my previous blog post - and couldn't quite wrap my mind around how to tackle it - let alone absorb it all. Wednesday I ran hills - hard. I think processing life came in the form of anger, and I hammered out the miles. It was one of those days where you keep going faster and faster and it feels better and better . . then you realize you've finished all the hills and it's like you're at the top of the world. You look down at the view and somehow life takes a new perspective. Then you run back home at a slower pace, feeling satisfied somehow. I also went for a drive on Wednesday. I grabbed some music to reflect my mood, got in the car, and drove south, skirting the water, and driving on all sorts of windy back roads. I was gone for 5 hours. I stopped along the way somewhere near a fishing pier and did some writing. I thought of all kinds of analogies to life - the fog bank blocking my vision - the island across the water that was so close by but inaccessible - the planes taking off from the airport, escaping to destinations unknown. It was good time to just think.

Today I ran with the sunrise. I usually love to sit in the kitchen and watch the sky turn pink with a hot cup of coffee in my hands, but I needed to get out today. I didn't run far - just over the hill really, so I could look back at the sun rising over the mountains. The fall always brings colors of neon pink to the sunrise - I'm not sure why that is, but it's such a cool sight. A calm quiet morning with a thin marine layer of hazy lavender-blue, maybe you could call it periwinkle for fun, and a bright neon pink sun glowing over the horizon. I actually stopped mid-run on some street corner with no one around and I just stared at it in awe. There's some sort of sense of renewal in a sunrise - a new day, a new start, a new beginning. Maybe it's a sense of hope.

I want to say thanks for the comments on my last post. I usually write because I love to write and it's good for my soul. I never write with the expectation for others to read it, and when people do, I'd prefer that it be fun and lighthearted or something profound that could have an effect on someone. But life isn't always that way - not reality anyway. I've learned, though, that sometimes what other people write in return can have that profound affect on me. I was able to talk to someone and eventually get some advice, some answers, some helpful suggestions, and some direction of where to go next. Some parts of life have to be about the little things you can do. And that's okay.

Land of Confusion

2006-10-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

Land of Confusion is a great Genesis song from 1986 - sorta how I feel about the world right now.

I haven't run in a week - 7 days exactly after the marathon - and my run today will be on a crisp, sunny, Autumn day - perfect, my favorite. Perhaps the fact that I haven't run, though, is the reason I've had too much time to do other things and read other things and hear other things. I've seen other aspects of life that maybe running gives me a break from. Or maybe running allows me time to think and process all of these things, and make rhyme or reason out of them. I haven't blogged much in a week either - too much going on in the land and in my head to simplify it to text.

My last week sped by and headed into a whirlwind of a weekend. We were supposed to be out of town at a mountain bike festival, but decided to stay home for my husband to rest his knee, and so we could actually just be home for a couple of days. To rest? Friday I brought 5 kids home after school - 2 not my own. It was a little busy, and then there was soccer and Friday night with a movie and pizza and beer and wine. I denied #1 an overnight at a friends because we needed family time. Saturday we divided and conquered as we like to call it. I took our youngest munchkin to back to back events - a wedding brunch where I have no idea how many mimosas I actually drank, and then a birthday party where I was promptly handed a glass of wine. What's with people drinkin' so early on a Saturday? My husband took the other two munchkins to a soccer game (by city bus - a family member borrowed car #2 for a week) - child #1 came home with dad via a ride from a friend, #2 went to a friends, then later #3 went with dad to pick up #2 - #3 ended up staying along with #2 to play with friend and friend's sister and dad came home. #2 & #3 conferenced with respective friends and coerced respective parents into an overnight. Mom drove over overnight belongings for #2 and #3. We had a lovely evening with #1 - it was after baked potato bar and I was winning Scrabble (10:30) when #2 called and wanted to come home. So I picked up #2, had a horrific nightmare that night, and at 7:30 am, mom of friends called and dad ended up taking #2 back to join #3 at friends while dads fixed breakfast, and later returned with #2 and #3. wow. I think I got all the numbers right.

But really, that's not my land of confusion - that's the reality of my life. It was really what progressed later that day that I struggle with. But I've got to back up and say there was stuff in my head stewing before all this - all week long it worsened. Every day in the paper there is so much negativity about which country is at war - violence, death, shooting - which political proposal isn't being passed. Every night on television are shows of crime scenes, investigations, missing people - no matter which network you watch. I've been reminded that we're a society of people that leave oxygen cannisters at the top of mount everest, we litter outer space when we travel to the moon and space stations, we dig for oil and destroy animal and plant habitats and our own natural space, and then produce exhaust from what we dug up. The state I live in has built miles of roads in national parks, and left them to decay and run into streams to destroy the ecological habitat for the fish. I won't even start with the global warming. In the city in which I live, it seems there are endless political debates on how to approach things, and nobody wants to make a final decision. I could discuss the 520 bridge, that will probably sink with people on it before it gets replaced, or the viaduct project that no one has a good solution for. What the article fails to tell you, is that for the near 60,000 population of west seattle who depend on the viaduct - when it's being replaced, it'll be like having to drive through rush hour traffic 24/7 - I've heard for up to ten years during construction - maybe it's just a rumor.

And if all that wasn't enough to oblitererate my positive outlook on life - there's the school consolidations. It's all everybody talks about right now, no matter where you go. To make the story short - the district needed to close many schools that were under enrollment because it was way in the hole and needed to cut back and save money. So it had to choose which schools to close, and nobody likes that. It's been dragging on for year two right now. Currently, the superintendent has decided to merge the alternative school my children attend with a traditional school. You can imagine the ensuing rage from the school communities. No one supports the proposal. There are board meetings and hearings every week. Everyone has an opinion about it they want to share, and I don't know how much more I can take. And yet, our school is an amazing community - a family, and being part of it, you can't help but wanna fight tooth and nail for it.

And then Sunday afternoon. One more playdate. Our child was frustrated because her friend was very late arriving. But if finally happened - the anticipated arrival - complete with the parent in near tears at my back door, which, after I shooed the children in, and went out with the parent - intensified to hysterical sobbing. We must've spent a couple of hours sitting on the back porch - at one point my husband made coffee and passed it outside to us. I really don't know what to say about it all. The issue is this person's partner, and the near physical and verbal abuse that is being dished out to this parent/friend and the child who is now in my house playing happily with my daugher, almost able to pretend that nothing happened, but is scared for her mom to go back home. It's not good. I don't know if you can cross the line and call it abuse yet - it's a dangerously scary line to cross, but the situation has become severely damaging and harmful. It's a classic case. How long do you wait for the next episode and how much worse will that one be? How many chances do you give? There were problems months ago, and they haven't improved. There's been counseling for a while, but it doesn't seem to be helping. The violence pattern seems to have escalated. I don't think it was so physical before, and now there are threats of more. What do you say to a person in this situation? You want to tell them to run far away, but you can't. They love this person. But it's so obviously a classic case of this person unwilling to let go and hoping it will get better and making excuses, and trying to make it work. The child is living in fear. Fear of what she will do wrong next, because she is constantly being blamed. The parent is questioning what is wrong with herself to bring on such a thing. How do you make them see - truly see what is going on? They are smart people. They are great people. The kind of people you'd never suspect this would happen to. I feel sick inside. The child stayed at our house through dinner - in fact she and my daughter made dinner and had a wonderful time. When I took her home, I felt like I was delivering her to hell. Her mom was the only one home, so it felt okay - then the significant other came home. How do I cope with that - other than to say hi and act nonchalant and eventually say good-bye and go home. I gave the child my cell phone number - just in case. And I told her to use it anytime she wanted. I'm not sure what I'm walking into. I didn't ask for it. It hurts to even think about it all, and I'm not living through it. What's wrong with our world? Maybe things will change and maybe it'll all get better and be a success story. But then am I just thinking like a classic abused individual - denying the reality of it?

So maybe if I start running again this week, I'll process my thoughts and write great posts on the power of a community or the story of the gingerbread man. Maybe I'll read some blogs instead of the newspaper and enlighten myself on happy people in the world.

2006-10-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

Me and the youngest members of my support crew before the race.

"For there to be good, there must be bad"

2006-10-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

I have to say - Iliketoast must know some secrets. That title quote is his. He also said "good to me is a matter of contrast". I think life is a constant balance of contrast. I did nothing right at all for the marathon I ran today, but I had a great - no - most excellent run. In the words of my daughter, " I was so stinkin' proud of myself!"

Here you go: Portland Marathon: 3:34:05 - 1st half in 1:44:27, 2nd half in 1:49:38. Not a PR, but I havent' run a marathon that fast in 12 years.

What I did wrong (or at least not ideal):
1 - I ran a marathon 5 weeks ago
2 - My last 5 weeks of mileage: 9 - 21 - 37 - 12 - 14
3 - lunch yesterday @ McDonald's
4 - dinner last night @ Subway
5 - hours of sleep last night - 5? (I'm really not sure - I fell asleep next to my 6-yr-old trying to get her to sleep in the hotel.
6 - I got to the start with only enough time to wait in the potty line, stretch for about 20 seconds - literally - peel off my sweats, and get into the start corral
7 - I ate nothing before the start - had one sip of water.
8 - I unintentionally lost 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks.

Extra bonuses that made the trip worthwhile:
1 - no stress - I chose not to have a time goal for this marathon, and I enjoyed every minute of it
2 - the kids are so used to camping that they thought the hotel suite was like Disneyland
3 - my husband had a pass to the Nike employee store in the area and he snagged me a really sweet jacket

The race itself:

I started out slower than I usually do, intending to enjoy it all and take in the experience. I had a packet of clif blocks in my hand that I rationed one at a time every few miles until about mile 18 - and I took sips of only water at most of the aid stations. I had some gels at mile 18, 21, and 23. My stomach felt better than it has the last two marathons. My pacing was pretty consistent - I slowed down some from mile 18-22, and I made two bathroom stops on the course.

Those are the tangible details. Those and the fact that my legs felt pretty good for the whole race.

The non-tangible details are the most amazing things I've ever experienced in a marathon - this was my 8th one. I thought about all of the things that people have said or written to me in the last couple of weeks about life and running. The big one that hit me over the head was ''what are you running to?" as oppossed to my questioning what I was running from. I thought about that one the entire race. I think I was running through and toward an enormous euphoric running high the entire marathon. I thought about Steph's recent trail race report, and how during the race, she was in such a state that she was convinced she didn't want to run anymore - she'd pushed her body to that limit. I thought about the kids I'd gone camping with recently and how hard they pushed themselves when they were miserable. I thought about all of the runners out there who run for a cause for people who are less fortunate and can't run. I thought that I was tired, but I wasn't hurting or suffering. I could stop and walk, but I'd just have to start running again at some point, so why bother? Allof these quotes from other people filtered through my mind over and over:

"If you're enjoying yourself, why slow down?"
"Take a leap of faith . . . Make it an experiment."
"Just run - just breathe"
"Does it make you feel good when you run fast?"
"Shift your thinking."
"You are awesome."

Somebody told me this week, about themself: "I do what I do because it makes me happy." I thought - how simple, but how profound . . . and how inspiring. I went out there today, and I did what I did because it truly made me happy - very happy. The spectators out on the course were like nothing I've ever seen in 26 years of road racing. There were people lining the course for the majority of the 26.2 miles. It was like running along a parade route for a good portion of the marathon - except all of the people were so pumped up and supportive it was just crazy. There were people with cowbells, signs, music - there was live music every few miles - cheerleaders every now and then - even a beer stop on mile 25 - which I joyfully took part in. It was like the whole population of Portland came out in full force to watch and support the marathon. I was so excited the whole race - I don't think I've ever whooped and hollered and thanked people and high-fived so much during a race before. There were so many runners to run with every step of the way. What a cool experience. I can't stop smiling from ear to ear about it. I feel like I became a true marathoner out there today because I finally understand why so many people love it so much and become addicted.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I'd like to run faster - but that will take some training goals - one thing at a time. I leaned a lot about the mental aspect of myself today. I ran Portland today approximately 10 minutes faster than my last 2 marathons - which were 5 seconds apart (3:43:56 and 3:43:51). Ten minutes faster - that's HUGE! I'm so excited. Those last 2 qualifed me for Boston 2007, and now after today, I think I'm qualifed for 2008. But I think I'm gonna train for 2007, and I'm gonna take a break from running another marathon until then. I'm looking forward to some cross-training and to stengthening some parts of my body besides my legs. And did I say how excited I am with myself? Maybe not . . .

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

Now I need a nap.

"Good Enough"

2006-09-27T10:37:00.000-07:00

This phrase has taunted me for lengthly portions of my life. Am I good enough? And for whom? Or for what? And what does it have to do with my running?

For whatever reason, I grew up never believing I was good enough. Maybe it was growing up in a very wealthy city and never being one of the wealthiest. Maybe it was attending private catholic schools. Maybe it was the influence of society, family, and community, and maybe it was something internal that I was born with. I'll never know. I've dealt with it in more ways in my life than I care to elaborate on it, but it wasn't until just recently that I realized how it affected me as a runner.

When I started running I was 10, and did it because my dad did and my brother did. Perhaps I wanted to be included - to be part of something. And maybe I was given a pat on the back - some attention for it - so I kept doing it. Somehow in there, it became natural for me to think that the faster I was, the more attention I'd receive, the better I was. Faster meant 'good enough', it meant acceptance, it meant that I was somebody special. And slower soon came to mean I wasn't 'good enough', wasn't worthy of being accepted, and wasn't really anybody of significance. For many years it became a pressure to succeed, exceed, excel - to keep getting better, or face becoming stagnant - slipping back and becoming nothing at all. My identity became and still is: 'I'm a runner'. There have been times in my life where I didn't recognize or accept myself if I wasn't running. I wasn't good enough. Years of therapy taught me to realize that I can be somebody simply by my existence. My therapist always wanted to know what I was running from. Although I hated the question - because I thought he was wrong and I just liked to run - I hated the answer even more. I was running from myself. One day I finally had to retrain myself so that I could be good enough for me and to run for myself and not to prove anything to the world at large.

But I still feel this need to run fast, and have a fear of what will happen if I don't. I've honestly never tried it. I faced having to live up to other people's expectations - what I thought was family, society, community excpectations of myself. Now I'm dealing with my own expectations. I still expect myself to run fast. But why? Why can't I just go out and run a marathon and enjoy it and not feel the need to race it? Millions of other people do it, why not me? If it's okay with me, if it's 'good enough' for me, then nothing or no one else should really matter, should it . . .

Camping at The Mountain

2006-09-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

I can see Mount Rainier from my living room window. I live up on a hill, and can look off into the distance and see the mountain turn pink with every sunset - a vision of grandeur, seeming to float in the sky.

Although a regular in sight, it's impressiveness never ceases to dazzle the onlooker. It's truly majestic in appearance.

This last week I joined 24 fourth and fifth graders on a camping trip to Rainier. It rained. A lot. The kids hiked. A lot. For the actual tally, there was a hike Tuesday evening, Wednesday morning, Wednesday evening, Thursday afternoon, and two short hikes on Friday. The most notable was the cold wet one on Wednesday when it rained, snowed, sleeted, hailed, was windy, foggy . . . that's the gist of it. It was pretty tough. And that's Mount Rainier - unpredictable weather. I think we turned around somewhere just above 6300 ft, and cut the hike short at 4 miles. We reached Comet Falls on Thursday - the highest falls in the park that you can actually hike to. The ranger told us 30% chance of rain, and we decided that we encountered the 30% chance that it would rain 100% of the day.

Aside from the rain, the the trip was actually really rewarding. It was a challenge, but the kids learned to face it head on, and came out proud of what they could accomplish. We set up a group camp like it was tarp city, but still couldn't avoid getting soaked. Some who came ill-prepared soon had nothing left dry and had to perservere. Some of these kids weren't campers and dealt with the challenge of being away from home. Several kids were simply fatigued from the hiking and the mountain air. Above all, it was cold. I usually wandered about in 4 layers, then added a fleece coat, and a gore-tex coat over that. I lived in wool socks, wool gloves, and a ski hat. In fact, I slept in my hat too.

I didn't get much sleep at all - partly due to the rain, partly due to camping with so many people. By Thursday night, we were all wet and tired and cold, but we'd made the decision to stick it out one last day rather than go home early. In the middle of the night, I was awakened to escort a child to the bathroom down the road. Pitch black, and a little bit scared, we clutched flashlights and walked through the trees to the road. Walking along, we stopped, turned off our flashlights, and looked up beyond the trees. We could see stars - millions of stars. One might expect such a thing in the mountains with no city lights, but thus far, we'd only experienced clouds and rain. Stars meant two things - clear skies, and a huge white mountain. The kids awoke Friday morning to clear blue skies and a mighty majestic mountain looming over us. This was their first glimpse of the mountain after four days of camping at the base of it. It made the whole trip worth it for them.

My daughter had an interesting comment about the mountain. She said that somehow, when you're up that close, it just doesn't seem so impressive after all. It looks like you could climb right up. Kinda funny, but I have to agree with her. I have a wish to climb it someday, but for now, I think I prefer to admire it from afar while it turns pink at sunset against a lavender sky.

Ironman Perspectives

2006-09-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

Saturday shed new light on my world of what it means to be an athlete. My 10-yr-old daughter and I were out the door at 5:45 am, and headed east over the mountains. We drove through the pass in the dark and with the rain pounding - I was glad to have company. Somewhere on the other side of the mountains the skies cleared. The sun came up over the hills, the mountains cast a purple haze across the valleys and pink fluffy clouds drifted across the sky. It was beautiful. At about 7:00, a couple hundred miles further east, 67 ironman participants were wading into the water to begin their swim. We stopped to grab some breakfast. We drove through vast farmlands and wound our way through canyons, lakes, and rivers to reach the start area for the Grand Columbian Triathlon. In addition to the ironman and half ironman competitions, this was the site of the 2006 ITU Pan-American Long Distance Elite and Age Group Championships. By the time we arrived, the majority of these competitors had completed their swim - 'cept for the half-iron people. At 10:15, they headed out for their swim. We got to watch both transitions and were out along the trail during the run portion. (We sat under the blue sky at the edge of the Grand Coulee Dam and ate lunch during the bike leg - it wasn't easily accessible for spectators.) The weather was fantastic, and my brother had a great day - finishing in 5 hours, 31 minutes on a fairly hard course. The bike segment had some pretty good climbs and was fairly windy. This was his first half, and just last year he was excited when he'd complete even the swim portion of a sprint-tri. He's already looking toward next year. He was pretty tired when he was through - hopefully pretty proud of himself. It'll be fun to talk to him once it has all sunk in and he realizes what he accomplished. Clock time would've been about 3:45 in the afternoon when he was finished. We hung out for a while as he recovered, watched some finishers, ate some food. It took a while to watch the results come in, gather gear bags, retrieve the bike, etc. Once we returned to the car it was about 5:30. We had watched a few of the iron athletes come through the half-marathon point, but the leader hadn't come through when we left the finish line - he likely came through just before 5:00. My daughter and I drove back through the canyons and the rivers and the valleys, heading west and following the golden sunset. We stopped for dinner around 7:30, headed back over the mountains in the dark where it was once again raining, and arrived home around 9:30 - roughly a 4-hour drive. We put away everything we'd dragged in from the car, and shared stories about our day with my husband. I grabbed a cup of tea and sat down to relax. I eventually headed off to bed - must've been just after 11:00 pm. Within the next hour, the last five ironman competitors would complete the marathon course. According to the results, the last finisher completed the course with a time of 16:42:07. I was fast asleep by then.

I get to go camping this week at Mt. Rainier, and I keep thinking about that rain as I drove over the pass yesterday. Guess I oughtta pack some warm clothes and some raingear. Maybe I'll get lucky and that big mountain will peak out from behind the clouds.

Clouded Over

2006-09-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

It's a good thing I captured all of those photographic moments of my last run because I think it's been cloudy ever since. I still had some aches and pains this week, so I've modified my training a bit 'til the marathon. A little less distance and a little more speed - not really speedwork, just pacing on the workouts. I had a great run at Greenlake yesterday - I did two loops of the lake with a loop around Woodland Park in the middle to make it about 8.5 miles. There are so many people at Greenlake, and it's paved and flat, so it made for some great race pacing - it tends to go by quick when you are weaving in and out of people the whole time. I'm not talking about passing runners - more of the strollers, roller-bladers, walkers, etc. - sort of the place in the city that everybody goes for general exercise.

I think I'll attempt some pace-work on my Sunday run - try to race-simulate many miles at pace, and see if I can cut down at all by the last 4 or 5. I'm thinkin' 12-14 miles sounds good. I'll have several hours to stroll the zoo during my daughter's birthday party in the afternoon - makes for a great post-workout cooldown - if I don't fall over in the process. Then I'll taper. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to run next week when I'll be camping and there are no showers. Do I dare hang out all stinky for others to have to deal with? Ponderous . . .

I'm looking forward to the marathon, and I think I'm looking forward to after the marathon. Sometimes when I run a race and finish, I think: "Now what?" For some reason, though, I'm looking forward to just training and cross-training. I did a marathon in May, and in late August, and then this one in early October. I've loved the training and the long runs, but am ready for a break. I've been able to learn where my strengths and weaknesses are for racing, and what I want to focus on this fall and winter. And then there's my looming spring decision. Boston? Eugene? I dunno. It seems so far off, but when you schedule it and plan it, and figure when you'll need to start your training, it's right around the corner. I think my mind is cloudy like the weather - like a permanent fog rolled in for a while.

I'm heading over to the eastern part of the state to watch my brother compete in the Grand Columbian tomorrow - it's his first Half Ironman, so I'm pretty excited for him. My husband's first tri - Black Diamond is the following weekend. Three weekends in October are already taken up by a mountain bike race, a duathlon and my marathon. (The bike events are my husbands, not mine.) And the kids have soccer games on Saturdays. I don't think I'm going to be able to avoid cross-training for much longer with my family's habits. I've been falling asleep on the couch all week after the kids go to bed, so perhaps just running until this marathon and recovery is over will be enough.

Add on to my last post

2006-09-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

This really is a continuation of my last post - call me the long-winded blogger for the day. When I left off, I was contemplating how effective it is to run an even pace. My next random thought is that it always seems so desirable to run negative splits, but then perhaps you didn't run hard enough during the first half . . . I think a lot of factors really go into all of it. A lot of it is mental, and a lot of it is training. Then you can do all different schools of thought on what kind of training. For me, I want to run a faster marathon. A fast marathon needs endurance and speed (and a lot of grit and a lot of passion). There are so many training plans that have you doing the endurance or the speed, and then both, but it gets harder when you talk about doing them together - to put it simply - to do long training runs or intervals at a fast pace. How much is enough to benefit you, and how much is too much so that you'll wind up with an injury. And without knowing exercise physiology to a 'T', how do you know if you're benefitting from the training. Do you have to undergo tests at an exercise phys. lab? Do you have to run marathon upon marathon to see if you improve? Then some schools will tell you that will cause injury - while at the same time you see this new trend of U.S. runners who try to run 50 states in 50 days, or one every month of the year.

It all makes me crazy. So what did I do today? I set out to run a long run after a race. I figure it was somewhat simulation - an experiment of sorts. When I started out, my legs weren't fresh - a little tired from my 10k yesterday, that's all. My long run said differently. I ran really slow and I was really tired. And I had aches and pains that I never have on long runs. My right soleus is still killing me, and I have odd soreness on the top of my left foot. What I felt like, was that I went out too fast in the 6 miles (yesterday) of a 23 mile mile run (17 today + 6 yesterday +23). My run yesterday served a purpose (see my last post), and I think I proved the lesson today. Running an even pace makes sense - starting controlled and conservative, but finding that sweet spot where you're still pushing yourself. I didn't plan to run fast today. Part of my purpose was to feel a little tired and have to do a long run - that's how I'll feel during a large part of the next marathon. I sauntered along today aimlessing taking gels and drinking electrolytes. I dragged along my hydration pack and my gels and my cell phone and my camera . . . yes, 17 miles with my camera. I'm a photography nut. It's just as much fun to come home and tweak them with computer graphics as it was to take them. Truly, though, today's course was beautiful. My body felt miserable, but mentally, it was just me and the miles out there - pure bliss. I always rant and rave about these areas when I come home, so now I have proof.

Mile 2 - Magnolia Bluffs

Mile 3 - Ferry crossing Puget Sound

Mile 4 - Olympic Mountains over Puget Sound

Mile 4 - Discovery Park

Mile 5 - Discovery Park Loop Trail

Mile 7 - Train Bridge near Chittenden Locks

Mile 8.5 - Turn around at Golden Gardens Park

Mile 9 - Shilshole Bay Marina

Mile 11 - Back on the trails in Discovery Park

Mile 12 - More trails in Discovery Park - Note the "Disco Ball" on the left.

Blog Time and Tacos

2006-09-11T15:18:00.000-07:00

All I've done today is take the kids to school and run and shower. I ended up doing a long run today since I ran a race yesterday, but I'll have to blog my photo journey of my 17 miler today in another post, because I have only half an hour until the school bus comes. What a day.

I've been doing it again. Blogging while I'm running. I run along and think about all the things I'd like to write. Then I come home and I don't blog and time goes on and I have this build up of blog things in my head. Sometimes I think - why bother. But then other times I wonder about the people out there, and my purpose for blogging. Why would I write it if I didn't want it to be read? Some sort of shared interconnectedness to the people of the world for reasons beyond my knowledge. (Speaking of things beyond our knowledge, you should read my husband's latest post - my getnout buddy - he's on my list. provokes thoughts and emotions.) But back to my purpose here. I was looking at my cluster map - it's a fascinating thing. I blog around and see names and locations on my comments from all over the country, Canada, and a couple from Australia, and I think one on vacation in Singapore, but as for the rest, I have no idea who they are, and what they get out of reading my blog. People from all over - Japan, India, Iran, Chile, Brazil, South Africa, The Bahamas, Mexico, 8 countries in Europe that I can actually place, and several others, and someone in London who actually frequents my blog, but never comments. Who are these people? Why have they read my blog? What do they take away from it?
My kids have a book from the library - It Takes A Village - The world population is imagined as a village of 100 people. Here are some facts: of these 100, 22 speak chinese, 9 speak english - so why aren't there people in China reading my blog, and why haven't I translated it into chinese? Although there are 100 people in this village, there are 189 chickens - thus nearly twice as many chickens in our world as humans. Makes you think twice about the bird flu. 17 of these people cannot read at all. So how are so many people reading my blog? 24 people do not have electricity - ah, therefore, no internet connection, let alone power and lights. 75 people have safe water in homes or close by, the other 25 spend most of their day getting it. Only 60 have adequate sanitation - 40 do not. Be thankful next time you use a port-a-potty at a race. Although there is enough food in this world village to feed everyone, if it were to be distributed evenly, it doesn't happen that way. 60 people in this village (read 60% of world population) are always hungry, 26 of those are severely malnourished, 16 go hungry some of the time - thus only 24 always have enough to eat. Makes me wonder next time I go for a long run, how much food do I really need to pack?

Random tangents about the world, but it all makes me think - who are all those people out there in the world? I have a huge itch to go seek them all out and meet them. I guess that's why I like to adventure so much when I run - to see stuff. Probably also why people always want to do the interesting marathons like Safaricom - to see the world. I went to the dentist last week. I hadn't been in 15 years - no reason, just weird. This dentist had a poster of the Boston Marathon on the wall - provoked much conversation. He's in his early 50's and has done 50 marathons - as far away as Bucharest and Hong Kong. Amazing stories this man has.

My stories today are closer to home. I have so much to say about running, but there's so much else to say. Why shouldn't I write about the fruit fly traps (I killed 86 one day), or my 6 yr olds first ride on a ferris wheel next to the Space Needle and how in awe she was to see the world from so high up, or how about . . my watch band broke . . . or how I sipped my coffee this morning and watched the sun rise over the mountains . . or how good the tacos were for dinner last night, but I forgot I had a long run scheduled today. Maybe I should write about doing yoga instead of running the other day and how humbling it was, or the bathroom wars in my house with three girls getting ready for school, or the new Soul Asylum CD that we bought, and how I saw them for free at Pike Place this summer, and stood right up front watching the lead singer. How about the freedom I felt on my last low tide beach run, and the lyrics to the Bryan Adams song 'Here I Am' from the Spirit Soundtrack. I think all runners should download the song, and put on some headphones and crank the volume. The lyrics are amazingly powerful, but you gotta be outside, or have headphones, and listen loud. Some music is just better loud. I could write about my husband's half marathon last weekend and how inspiring it was to watch him reach a goal, and how excited and anxious he is for his first triathlon in a couple of weeks - or about the fact that body glide really works, and I just discovered that today. And what about my run in the park the other day - my husband encouraged me to make the 5 minute drive, and I was in awe of the trails and the leaves and the autumn season approaching so much that you could smell it in the air. Or how about my thoughts that the best proven way to learn a language is total immersion, so wouldn't the best way to learn about life be total immersion in it? Really getting out there and living life.

And then while I'm on such a long post, there's running, and that 10k I did yesterday, and my 17 miler today. I wanted to go out and pace the race yesterday. Not go hog wild for a PR, although that would've been great. But I have a difficult time reigning myself in at the beginning of a race. I feel good, and I'm confident, so I feel like I can go out fast and hold the pace. And I know I've done adequate training to sustain it. (Well, I tell myself that at the 1 mile point when I hear the fast pace.) But I think I get greedy. I go out too fast and pay for it midrace when I slow down. And then I can finish strong, because that's just my mindset. But my goal yesterday was to go out slower. Not slow, just conservative. I'm always afraid that if I go out too slow, that I'll inevitably get tired later and slow down, just as if I went out fast, and then I lose time at the start that I can't get back. Does that make sense? I'm gonna slow down anyway, so why not go out too fast? But in my brain, I know there's a fine line. You can go out conservatively - fast, but not too fast, and reserve some of the energy for mid-race. I went out at 7:10-7:20, and I held close to that the whole race. I didn't PR, I ran a 45:30 I think, but I accomplished what I set out to do. Part of me wonders . . if I had gone out 10 seconds faster, then slowed down 10 seconds later, wouldn't it still be the same? But that's that fine line you have to discover - how hard can you push and still leave some?

I've got to leave it at that for now - my ramblings for the moment, and come back tonight when I have more time - my munchkins await . . .

Fall Contemplations

2006-09-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

Back to school . . . not me, the kids. I've been anticipating this day since before we went on vacation. Our trip was like the last hurrah of summer, then home and getting schedules organized for school to start. Our kids go to an amazing school. It's an alternative school with an emphasis on native american culture/ethnic heritage and outdoor education. (Our fifth grader's class already has a camping trip planned in two weeks @ Mt. Rainier.) But more than all that - it's a place where our kids feel like they belong to something, like part of a family. It's a place where you can walk through the building and classrooms and everyone knows you and is glad to see you and your kids. A place where the teachers aren't just teachers, but care deeply about our kids, and are my friends as well. Because of the way the school is designed, all three of our children have the same teachers and the same classrooms they did last year - comforting to have it so familiar on the first day. They had a back to school BBQ last night to get all the heebie jeebies and giggles out, and see everyone they missed all summer. This morning my husband and I dropped them all off without a hitch. They all waved good-bye with a smile on their face. And for the first time, I didn't cry when they were gone. They're ready, they're in good hands, and I'm ready.

My husband and I sorta celebrated the first day of school. This morning it's low tide. I was supposed to go for a run on the beach, but I know I have all day with no kids. My husband was supposed to go to work, but he has a cell phone, and everyone at the office was doing just fine. So we went to the bakery and got treats to go and took them to the beach. The tide was far enough out to create tide pools and sand bars with all kinds of sealife to attract the gulls. We watched a heron out fishing among them. The sky is a bright blue, and the early autumn sun was crisp but warm at the same time. From our vantage point, you could see the Olympic Mtn range across the Puget Sound. You could see the city peeking around the point, and the Cascade Mtn. range above that. And looking out you could see chunks of land - the peninsula, the far-off islands, and ferry boats crossing in between. What a beautiful morning. As we drove home, I remember the early spring and being so excited to see all the geese with baby goslings waddling behind them in line. The summer seems to have come and gone so quickly, but so many memories linger of all the fun things we did.

Now it's on to fall. I think I'm ready. I have a mental list of all of these things that I want to do and get done, and I feel like I need to accomlish them all today. I think it'll hit me in a few days that the kids are back in school every day, and I have time. I'm one of those people though, who tend to cram in as much as I can. I'm determined to get all my stuff done during the day, so I can devote all of my time to the kids when they get home. I think afternoons and evenings are going to go by in a blink. From the moment the munchkins get off the bus hungry for snack and excited about their day . . . to when they're tucked in for lights out. Somehow we've got to fit in homework and dinner prep and walking the dog and reading and playtime and family time. And oh yeah, swimming lessons Tuesdays and Thursdays, soccer practice on Fridays, games on Saturdays. When ballet starts, I think that's on Tuesdays, and I think Fencing in on Mondays. I'll likely get mixed up and take the wrong kid to the wrong thing. When are they gonna fit in that homework and dinner, let alone time to be kids? And then there's birthday parties and weekend events and Halloween and . . . it gets dizzying to think about, yet somehow it's my favorite time of year. So much going on, so much excitement.

And then there's running. I think I'm honestly a little nervous to run today. I took five days off after the marathon. I didn't mind, and we were on vacation. Oh - side note - 2 days after the marathon, and 500 miles from where it was held, we were at a mostly deserted state park in a remote part of Oregon, and I ran into another marathoner - from this race where there had been only less than 150 runners. What are the chances? And his wife was a woman that I had thanked profusely after the race because she'd been out all over the course with cowbells cheering us on. Life is odd how we reconnect. My real side not here, was that this runner, Bruce, reminded me that after the next marathon I should go back to the hotel and take an ice bath - as soon as I'm able - to cool down the muscles. Obviously at the campground there'd been no ice bath. I'll take up Bruce's advice for the next one. But back to the present . . . I took those five days off, then ran a 4 mile. My legs felt really heavy still. But I thought I'd run through it and did 5 miles the next day. My legs didn't feel any better and they actually hurt a bit. So I took three days more off. I even opted out of the 10 mile I had scheduled for the weekend. I'm a believer in listening to my body. So now it's today and I'm gonna have a go at it and see how it feels. I already don't feel springy and fresh, but I can handle that. I just don't wanna injure myself. But then there's this marathon thing that I want to be ready for. I had a hard time deciding between which one. There were three fairly local marathons scheduled within 8 days of one another and I had to pick one. So I did. Now I feel like I should be out there training, and I keep reading that other people are tapering for fall marathons. I know I'm not on their training plan, and I have to listen to my body and my gut.

In my head I have all of these notions of what it will take to get me to the time I want to run. Then I get over-ambitious. I'd love to train and train and cross-train, and train some more. My kids are at school and I have all day, right? Then I wake up. I have to be smart. I have this short time between marathons, not really to amp up the mileage, but to maintain and fine tune. But I'm dying to ramp up the mileage - I love to run in the fall with the leaves changing and I have all this time . . . so if I can't increase my mileage now, then when. When is my next marathon, and how much time do I have in between? Do I want to run the next one fast or for fun? I know Mesa Falls was supposed to be fun, and not fast, but I have a hard time accepting that when I'm there. I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to run Boston in April. And if I do, I've been advised by knowing souls to go out there and enjoy it, don't race it. Be there to take it all in and just immerse yourself in the experience. But then when you're there, does the anxiety get the better of you?

So many contemplations, and I feel like I need to fit them all into one blog post. I have more time and more days. Right now I should lace up my running shoes and head out to watch the tide roll in - hop on the trail and go where it leads me . . .

pictures

2006-09-01T10:55:00.000-07:00

Bison near Hayden Valley

Fountain Geyser

Thermal hot springs at Norris Basin, not a hot tub

little adventurers

Grand Prismatic Spring at Midway Geyser Basin

Grizzly bear feeding off dead bison in Yellowstone River

Yellowstone Lake at Sunset

The Grand Tetons from Oxbow Bend

Bison Herd with Mud Volcano steaming in background

The Yellowstone River steaming across the Hayden Valley

Out into the World

2006-08-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

I've been away on an amazing adventure with my family. Thanks to the people who inquired with concern or curiosity about my whereabouts - it's nice to have that connection out there in the blog world.

We packed up the pop-up camper and the van, loaded up the kids, and headed out east. Our journey (I'm a visual map type, so I am drawing a map route in my head here): from Seattle to Spokane, Washington, to Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, through Missoula, Montana and across the Continental Divide to Bozeman, Montana - then south to Wyoming through Yellowstone National Park (the focus of our destinations), continuing south through Grand Teton National Park - then looping up northwest to Ashton, Idaho, then west through Idaho Falls, Pocatello, Twin Falls, and Boise, Idaho - then northwest through Baker City, Oregon, Emigrants Springs, Pendleton, Oregon, and home. Truly, I think it's just fun to list it all, because it reminds me of everything we saw and experienced along the way. It would take me eons to say all I want about the trip, so I'll have to just capture the essence of the highlights.

Lake Couer d'Alene boasts the longest floating boardwalk and the water sparkled across the lake from the late afternoon summer sun.

Montana truly is 'Big Sky' country. It is beautiful in every way - mountains, streams, sky . . . I happened upon a river trail to run along while we stopped in Missoula to let the kids play in a water spray feature at a park. I've always imagined Montana as a place where its' people have a deep love for the outdoors. It gave me a huge sense of enjoyment to be out along that river, feeling like I was a true Montana native - out experiencing nature.

Yellowstone National Park was more than we could ever have imagined for us and for our kids. We saw Old Faithful on our 3rd day in the park - sort of a let down after all that we had seen. I'm glad to say we saw it, but as my husband says, 'It was like Disneyland it was so crowded with tourists.' Some of what we did enjoy . . . putting the kids in the car at the crack of dawn - seeing the sunrise across the Hayden Valley while steam rose from the river - happening upon a herd of bison. We sat in the car with the windows rolled down for about half an hour while a herd of 200-300 bison wandered through the area. They stopped to feed their babies, they called to one another, they trotted down the hill, and wandered so close to us that we could have reached out and touched them. To be amidst them like that was the highlight of the trip for me. It was like existing in a prehistoric time amongst the dinosaurs. At first the kids (and us) were a little intimidated, but after a few minutes we were just all in awe. We watched a grizzly bear feed off of a bison in the river - our kids saw a bear eat breakfast out in the wild - huge view of the world there. I've never camped in bear country before. The rangers are very serious about the regulations, and making sure you are aware of them. We watched an amazing amphitheatre presentation on the return of wolves to Yellowstone, while the sun went down over Yellowstone Lake and the stars came out to dazzle us. When it was through, we walked back to our camp. The trek was something every member of our family will remember for a long time. We were nervous walking at night in bear country. It was pitch black, and all the others took their cars back to camp - not the one mile trail that we chose. The stars were so clear and the universe so vast. It had been near 80 degrees in the day, but was now very cold - down near 40 in the night. We had to cross over a suspension bridge that spanned a ravine, and bounced as we walked. We huddled together as we walked - truly experiencing the park in a new sense. We all made it back fine, but it was a long way for our munchkins with the surrounding circumstances - pretty scary - but they were troopers. The geothermal features in the park are amazing beyond belief - I think our word for them was 'otherworldly'. There are so many and they are so diverse - ranging from hot springs, to terraces, to pools, to geysers to mudpots - you really feel like you are on a different planet at times. The rainbow colors of the Grand Prizmatic were one of my favorites - or maybe watching the hot water of a spring overflow to create a waterfall into a cool river.

The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone is bigger than the pictures give it credit for. I cried because I was so nervous to have the kids standing at the edge - I felt all shaky in my legs. Parts of it had no fencing, no barrier of any kind. You could truly stand right at the edge. It was remarkable, though. The beach at the edge of Lake Yellowstone was beautiful by sunset, and there was no one around which made it extremely peaceful. I went for a run in the evening and almost ran into a few elk grazing. Huge creatures. We took the kids swimming in the Fire Hole River to cool off one day - the current was fun for my husband as he climbed through the canyon and floated downriver to the kids.

The Grand Tetons were another experience altogether. We explored many nooks and crannies of the area, and I think Oxbow Bend is the most beautiful place in the world. You have an amazing view of these mounains that seem to grow straight up out of nowhere. While there, we watched a black bear swim across the river, then bound across the field with a herd of elk in the background. A few minutes later a coyote came slinkiing by very quietly. We were lucky enough to see a couple of bull moose one day, and see a mom and her baby eating dinner the next day. We visited a really well put-together native american museum in Colter Bay and got a glimpse of what people used to live in the area. I went for a short run along Jackson Lake with the Tetons as a backdrop and the sun at such an angle that the water was lit up with light. An amazing sight.

Ashton, Idaho was the site of the Mesa Falls Marathon. We left the campground just after 5 am, in the middle of a farming valley, and drove in the dark to the start 20 miles out on some logging road. The first 10 miles were a downhill grade along a gravel road, then the next 4 miles on pavement and through a lookout point to see the falls, the next 3 miles were on trail by the river where you could hear the Osprey cry. Miles 17-20 were a good solid up hill - a real challenge. The last miles were more downhill through rolling barley fields into the town. I kept thinking about the Sting song "Fields of Gold" while I was running. The run was a lot more mentally challenging than I thought it'd be. I think I started out having been on vacation - lots of car time, alternating with lots of walking in my Chacos. I think I started at 6:30 am without a warm-up. I think I was pretty tight until mile 20. I think I had a good race overall, just wish it was faster. I gotta give myself credit for having done the race during vacation, and enjoying it. I need to accept that I can't always go out and run a PR. I know my training times suggests that I can run faster, and I think I can, I just don't think I had that in me on the given day. I ran around a 3:44 - a little over or under. I'm still shooting for faster, but I need to amp up my training mileage a little. The course was beautiful, the people were nice, we got free huckleberry milkshakes. The weather was great, the pre-race pasta/potato dinner was good and cheap, the finisher medals were engraved wood, as were the plaques given as age-division awards. For shirts, it wasn't a compression shirt like Fleet-Feet gave out in Chicago, it wasn't a long-sleeved tech fabric like the Seattle Marathon gives you, it was an embroidered polo shirt. Kind of unique.

We surprised the kids in Twin Falls, ID, and took them to a Nascar track. What a hoot. The rest of southern Idaho was interesting. We saw Evel Knievel's jump site and watched people base jump over the snake river canyon. Shoshone Falls ('Niagara of the West') is beautiful.

Up through Oregon, we followed the historic Oregon Trail. We went through an interpretive center and actually got to see old wagons and where some of the wagon ruts still remain in the dirt along the trail.

We're all glad to be home. We've done endless loads of laundry and I'm sure our skin still smells of campfire smoke. It was really amazing to take such a trip with our kids. To have our focus be about what's out there to see in the world - what's out there to experience. To have a larger than usual portion of our day consumed with our basic needs of food and shelter - setting up at a new camp each night, heating water, cooking meals, cleaning dishes, building fires . . . hot water and electric lights became an unnecessary luxury. Several nights we actually let the kids cook their dinner over the fire. We found geocaches in four different states, we stayed at campgrounds ranging from primitive bear country, to private complete with swimming pools. The kids were able to adapt to all kinds of situations and meet people from all walks of life. 'Cept for a few postcards, arrowheads, and some junior ranger patches, I feel like for the most part we were able to 'take only pictures, leave only footprints'.

I think we all have come home with a greater appreciation of the world out there than we left home with. It really is a captivating place out there when you take yourself out into it, and pause in it's midst to enjoy it and reflect.

I'm looking forward to the beginning of fall, the kids back in school, and the seasons changing. I can't wait to catch up on everyone's blogs and plan my next marathon. Right now, I'm looking forward to tucking the kids into bed and enjoying a movie and a glass of red wine with my husband. And I've learned to have a new respect for all of those luxuries.

North Bend Race

2006-08-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

I ran a race today. I wasn't sure I was ready for it. I have race details, but I have details on my training week too. Last Sunday was my fabulous 21 miler - that was great. I was supposed to run Monday. But didn't. I ran 3 miles on Tuesday. On the treadmill at the gym. I lifted too. That was great. I had a 5:00 am wake-up Wednesday am - slept in 'til 6:00. I was scheduled to run 8 miles of 400 intervals/recovery, etc. at the track. At 6 am I decided to run on the road instead where there are marked quarter miles on the bike path. I headed out. Two houses down the street there was a strange guy hangin' out. At 6 am. Not smoking, not on a cell phone, not a neighbor. Just hangin' out. I ran down the block. I stopped and deliberated. It all freaked me out enough that I went back home. He had moved and there was mischevious activity going on, involving a car and another wandering individual. I went inside and locked the door, with intent to run later. Later. Later I was busy. Later the dishwasher guy was here until 5:00. By 5:30 I had loaded all three kids into the minivan for a trek to the track. They were in running shoes, ready to run or dig in the sand pits. The track nearby is being resurfaced and won't be ready for another month. We continued on to the next track further south. It's at a parks dept. community center, but was locked for the first time that I'd ever seen. The kids offered to climb the chainlink but it was 10 feet high. We drove around it looking for another way in. No such luck. We drove further south to the next track at a local high school. Except, after driving the perimeter and scanning from three different parking lots, there was no track. We drove south again. To another high school track. This one is a private school. The sign at the locked gate promptly reminded us of this fact and mentioned that violators would be prosecuted. I bought the kids dinner. We drove to one last track, just for kicks. This one was locked up like a fortress, and atop the high chain-link fence were three rows of barbed wire. I didn't run on Wednesday. We found a park near the airport where we could watch the planes come in for a landing, and found some amazing botanical gardens where the kids pretended they were fairies until sunset.

I oughtta say that when I came home, I locked the door, still freaked out from the morning. When someone tried to get in my backdoor at 11:15, I was sure glad I had it locked. Nice, eh? Oh, by the way, that day, it was a full moon.

Thursday I ran 5 miles. I stopped twice at the . . um . . restroom, and walked for a quarter mile somewhere in the middle. I ran 4 miles on Friday at the track at the gym. It's 19.5 laps to the mile. So I ran 4x19.5 = 78 laps. If that sounds like a lot of laps, check out this link I had in my dead runner's society email: http://www.srichinmoyraces.org/3100.

So, my race today . . . I consider myself a marathon runner, and train accordingly. I wanted badly to do that missed interval workout, because I wanted to know what it felt like to run 10k pace. My goal was to run a 44:00 10k. My PR from about 15 years ago is 40:52. If I could run a 44 today, the handy dandy team oregon pace wizard says I can run a 3:30 marathon, and that'd be great. I needed to run 7 minute pace. I oughtta say that the North Bend Alpine Days race is set on a beautiful course in the foothills of the Cascade Mtn. range, with views of Mt. Si. It was sunny and cool - great day for a run. My first mile was 6:58 - perfect. I didn't know I had it in me. Well, I thought I did, but you never know until you do it. My second mile was 6:30 - but me and the guy I was running next to both thought maybe it was marked too early. I felt great - really great. I was so excited. I hung tight to a couple of runners in front of me for mile 3, and held on to the pace. Mile 4 I set it in cruise control and drifted a bit. I'm used to wandering thoughts for a 26 mile race - I forgot that you can't stop to daydream in a 10k or it all goes by too quickly. I picked off a few people in mile 5, and hung on to the pace for mile 6. I think I slowed a little bit around mile 4 or 5, but not intentionally. I truly felt great. I was bummed when I saw the finish clock and it was 44:05 - and yet - it took me five seconds to get to the start line, so my net time? 44:00. Saweeeet! Check it out (Alpine Days). I'm so proud of myself.

What a crazy week of running. No long run tomorrow. My daughter's birthday party is tomorrow. No theme or anything, we're going to the beach to play. But it still requires planning and preparation. This child was born in August under the Zodiac sign Leo the Lion. She was born in the year 2000 - Chinese year of the Dragon - the dawn of the new millenium. She is named after one of the head stars 'Meissa or Lambda Ori' in the constellation Orion the Hunter. In arabic, the word 'Meissa' means 'the shining one'. You can only imagine what a fireball of a personality this child has. Meissa is turning 6 this week, and birthday parties are a big deal when you're six. It's a challenge to plan them without gobs of sugar and useless miscellaneous toys that kids seem to love. I think when people grow older we still desire gobs of treats for birthdays and useless miscellaneous toys - they're just more expensive. But then there's Josh. His birthday present was the coolest ever. His wife gave him a little bit of life. You should read his previous post too to understand his motive.

I gotta go finish some cupcakes.

I'm famous!

2006-08-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

A lot of people pay big money to have their name/company come up first in a search engine. We had a good laugh when we googled 'ginger breadman' yesterday. When we scanned further down the list, it came up a few more times, but on Angie's blog - she or someone else referring to me. Pretty funny.

What a great summer weekend we had. Seafair was this weekend, so there were hydroplanes buzzing on the lake and planes in the air all weekend. For 4 days, The US Navy Blue Angels fly right over our house - it's such a rush how fast and loud they go. The first time they flew over one of the kids said, "I could see the words on the plane!" My husband responded with, "From the deck at work we could see the pilot inside the plane." It's really amazing. Saturday morning we ventured down to the lake where we could catch a glimpse of the hyrdroplane races, but get a really great view of the air show. The jets go screaming right over your head. For us, it's a huge tradition, but also a symbol that the end of summer is drawing near. Saturday night after the kids were in bed, we could see fireworks over the hill above the Seafair festivities. We snuck the kids out of bed and brought them to the living room window to watch. It was one of those priceless moments as parents. Standing there listening to the kids ooooh and aaaah and discuss the fireworks, and relish in the privilege to be out of bed and see something special. My husband and I just looked at each other and smiled.

I got up early for my Sunday run. I ran one of my favorite courses - water, water, everywhere. I did a short loop in West Seattle so I could stand at Hamilton Viewpoint on the northern tip of the hill and look out across the bay to where I'd be in a couple of hours. The cruise ships were heading to the port terminal, the fishing boats were in abundance, and the sky was pink behind the city skyline. I ran across the Seattle waterfront along Elliot Bay, up the hill to the magnolia bluffs with Panoramic views of the Puget Sound and the Olympic Mountains. The was an eagle sitting out on a tree snag enjoying the view with me. I ran on some trails through Discovery Park - the largest park in Seattle. I ran down across the Chittenden Locks, and continued along Salmon Bay and the ship canal. I hooked up with another runner who was out for a long run and not too familiar with the trail. We ran a couple of miles together and chatted about running and which marathons we'd done. I finished up at Gasworks Park on Lake Union. I love that course. There is so much life out there on the water and on the path - so much going on as the city awakens.

I did a few things different this run. I tried to hyrdrate. Sort of a new concept for me. I usually just get by with a few drinking fountains carefully planned along a 20 mile course. This time as I trotted along my first mile or two, I munched on a packet of clif blocks, and I brought a hydration pack with me. I stashed several gels in various places as well. So, I had electrolyte fuel at miles 3, 6, 9, 12, 15 & 18. I took gels at 9, 12, 15, & 18 as well. So, lots more stuff than I usually have. I have to note here, I usually feel fine on my long runs. I like to be sort of a minimalist. I don't take music on my long runs either. But after my stomach problems at Capitol City, I'm trying to adjust a little before the next marathon. I think it helped. I felt just as good as I usually do on my long runs, but I ran a lot faster, and I recovered a lot faster. You'd think that maybe I could've figured all this out a long time ago. I just hate carrying hydration stuff. But yesterday, I didn't even seem to notice. Other than a slow first mile, I was able to run my 21 mile on a casual Sunday morning at a pace faster than I averaged during my last marathon on a race course with other people. (granted, yes, it was 5 miles shorter) And I felt really relaxed, and even cut down my last couple of miles. I've been doing speedwork and pace work, maybe that helped. I've been lifting a little, maybe that helped. I swam at the pool on Friday night. Doubt that did anything for my physical running ability 2 days later, I just wanted to say that I did it. I also just came off of my highest mileage week so far, with no rest on Saturday like I usually do before a long run. I refuse to admit that I denied this hydration for so long and that it was such a simple thing and that it had amazing benefits. Maybe it was all a fluke. I mean, we're talking I do a lot of my long runs say . . . 9:20 - 9:40 pace, and I just did my longest one at an average 8:28 pace without any extra effort. I was flying high about it yesterday. I think I oughtta rein it back in - don't wanna jinx anything before my next race. I think I'm partly excited because maybe, just maybe, hard work and training and diligence pays off. 'I' this, 'I' that, 'I' think, 'I', 'I', 'I' . . . I suppose it's my blog but that's enough about me for a moment. Something really cool about yesterday was my family -

I'm training for a marathon in 3 weeks, and another one in the fall. My husband is training for a half marathon in 4 weeks, and a sprint tri 3 weeks after that. I have 2 10k's scheduled in there somewhere. And we have 3 kids. It's a lot of training time to schedule. Sunday mornings are the long ones. While I was out enjoying the sunrise and watching the boats, my husband was dragging 3 kids outta bed at 7 am on a Sunday morning during their summer vacation. He was packing dry clothes for me, loading up all of the replacment drinks I'd stashed in water bottles in the frige. He was packing my food to have when I was done, so I'd make it through the rest of the day. He was getting the kids some breakfast, helping them choose snacks to bring in the car, and making them cocoa in 'to go' cups. Oh, yeah, he was getting ready for HIS long run too - he had a 13 miler planned, the longest he'd run in probably 10 years. He drove a half hour to meet me at the park. I felt like we were at an aid station along an ultra course - take off the hydration pack, refill it, add some more gel packs, I was changing into dry clothes . . . and then he headed out. The kids had been playing in the park with my husband, but hadn't had enough, so we hiked up this mini-hill and stood looking out over Lake Union with the city behind it, and watched the float planes take off, one after another. Gasworks park has an old refinery with some parts that were leftover and painted that you can walk through. What a beautiful day. We ran through some sprinklers, then headed out to the next stop where we'd pick up my husband. He ran along a paved trail that heads out to the north end of Lake Washington. We skirted the lake and ended up at another park to play. This one had a long dock we could walk out on and watch the boaters heading out to watch the hydroplane races. Nearby we watched three eagles flying in and out of a large tree at the shore. It was so cool to hear them crying to one another. What amazing creatures they are.

The kids played in the grass and under the trees and by the shore. What better things for a kid? My husband and I got in some amazing running, and our little troopers went from park to park, seeing a little bit of life out there in the world. The kids got the role-modeling of parents who value exercise and goals, and a family supporting one another. I imagine someday when they're grown, they'll say to one another, "Remember those Sunday mornings when mom and dad did long runs and we got to go to all of those parks and see cool stuff?" Because last Sunday we did the same thing, and there are many Sundays that we do the same thing, just different parks. The kids got cocoa, we went out for coffee when all the hydration bottles were emptied, and we were all home by noon. Life is good.

Music

2006-08-03T07:48:00.000-07:00

I had a hard time draggin' myself outta bed yesterday. After the alarm went off I kept climbing deeper under the covers. I played that mental game I call 'Later'. I'll go run at the gym - I'll go this afternoon - I'll run before dinner. Somehow I got up and out the door. I took my music with me. It spoke to me out on the run. That happens sometimes - when the words just leap out and shake you, and the music reaches you on some emotional level below the surface. I could say the lyrics put to music are like poetry for my soul - but I'm sure someone has said that already. The music simply has some effect on your spirit or on that energy inside you. It makes you feel so alive. It's funny how different types of music can do the same thing for people. From the beginning of time with ritualist drumming and instinctive tapping of feet - to today when everyone has an ipod and music on their cell phone.

My songs today were a litlle bit about freedom and self. A little bit about being high on life and happy to be out experiencing it. I ran a comfortable 8 mile out and back along the beach. ( I was supposed to run 5, but I had to add my 3 from yesterday because the neighborhood BBQ took the place of my evening run.) I raced a ferry boat around the point. I think I beat it. I'd love to have a hand-held and radio the captain: "Hey buddy - I think I'm gaining on ya', you oughtta pick it up a bit." I chased a pigeon too. I swear those things wait until you're right on them before they fan their tail and take off in flight. My new shoes felt great on their inaugural run. I love that I can take them out for an 8 mile jaunt right out of the box and they feel like slippers. I got blue this time - my last pair was yellow. I think I like the blue ones.

Back on the music topic . . . we went to a concert last week - a date, even. We went to listen to Shawn Colvin at an outdoor venue. We last saw her on our first wedding anniversary in 1994, and she's still singing - even has a new album coming out. It was so awesome to sit outside and watch the trees and listen to her guitar.

I listen to an odd mix of music. I'd love to be cool and list the hit music I listen to, but that ain't gonna happen. A lot of the time it's what I consider old music, but because some of it is from the 80's, it's now hip and retro. I somehow really do have some sort of variety - a pretty wide diversity that I seem to have interest in - but it's not necessary 'cool' music, and I wouldn't classify it as running music by anyone's standards but my own. I have no idea how many songs I currently have on my ipod - maybe a hundred or so of that diverse mix - but yesterday the songs played out however which way they chose. They had their way with me. You know it's going to be a good run when you start out with the sky lightening up and the first song you hear is about walking on air. Here are the lyrics:

Look at what's happened to me,
I can't believe it myself.
Suddenly I'm up on top of the world,
It should've been somebody else.

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air.
I never thought I could feel so free.
Flying away on a wing and a prayer.
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me.

It's like a light of a new day,
It came from out of the blue.
Breaking me out of the spell I was in,
Making all of my wishes come true.

Believe it or not,I'm walking on air.
I never thought I could feel so free.
Flying away on a wing and a prayer.
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me.

It's the theme song from a 1981 TV show called The Greatest American Hero. And a sampling of what came next, best I can recollect:

All I Need is a Miracle - Mike and the Mechanics
something by Rod Stewart
Alive and Kicking - Simple Minds
Free as a Bird - the Beattles
Redemption Song - Bob Marley
Runaway Train - Soul Asylum - saw them in concert too
Sugar, We're Goin' Down - Fallout Boy
Maybe I - Five for Fighting
Silver Rainbow - Genesis
Coming to America - Neil Diamond
Zoo Station - U2 -oooh, saw them in concert too
Come Sail Away - Styx

Okay, I'm done reminiscing. The ipod was on random, and I couldn't repeat the playlist if I tried - I know I'm missing several. I find it mildly ammusing that I run along the beach path with my head boppin' side to side and my hands drumming the air. Sometimes you just gotta live a little bit of life.

Hopefully somewhere in there I captured the essence of my run a little bit and delivered it in words to share with the world. It was a great run.

Happy Monday

2006-07-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

Another Monday - where does the weekend always go? I had a great run yesterday. I went a direction I'd never gone before - to explore the unknown in the depths of the city. It was shocking to wake up to the temperature below 60 fahrenheit (that's be about what 15 or 16 celcius to the rest of the world), there was an ever so slight rain, and because of the cloud cover it was dark. I debated leaving later, but my whole day schedule hinged upon my leaving by 5:00. So out the door I went. This was to be a mystery morning. In order to get where I wanted to go, I needed to run through an industrial area, and get up the hill on the other side. But the two nearest roads that go up this hill are a mile to the north, or a mile and a half to the south - thus adding more than necessary distance to my run. My plan was to run straight up. I'd been told there were stairs. The guy who told me has never seen the said stairs, but said he knew others had. Okay. Imaginary stairs. Under the freeway where all the homeless people sleep. In the dark. Promising. But I found the stairs. I stood at the bottom looking at them. Looking up, it was a criss-cross of freeway interchanges, and it looked like the stairs went up to the freeway. Weird. I ventured up to that land of the unknown, and lo and behold, I was on the freeway. Sort of where the bridge/freeway merge and it flows into a main arterial. The builder's plan here was odd. I ran a little way on this sidewalk on the freeway while I contemplated whether or not other freeways had sidewalks. Then the sidewalk ended, some stairs went down, and back up to where the sidewalk continued. (Apparently so one could avoid being hit by cars traveling freeway speed.) There wasn't too much traffic so I braved the road and continued the rest of the way up the hill when I reached the sidewalk again. I imagined drivers going by wondering where the heck this runner had come from. I frequently drive this freeway portion and have never noticed the stairs.

The next 4 miles were through some neighborhoods I've never run along - a very diverse area - kinda fun. Then 7 or so miles of waterfront along the lake. Part of it was along a park trail on a little peninsula park, (complete with drinking fountain for water at miles 4 and 7.5) and some along a bike path on a major thoroughfare. The lake was opened for sockeye season for three days, which doesn't happen every year. It was phenomenal to witness the amount of boats out on the water. It was as if someone had taken a game board and dumped all the pieces, allowing them to scatter at random. The lake was literally littered with boats.

I added some extra mileage in there somewhere. The map I read showed the two beach parks connected end to end and I could get back out onto the road after running through them. After running through some woods in a park, and out into a neighborhood, I reached a dead end sign. I could see the second park about 100 yards in front of me. But between me and it were a chain link fence, and either a thick thicket of bushes or a swim through the water to the beach I was staring at. C'est lavie. I backtracked and made it around. The drinking fountain wasn't working when I got there. Bummer when you don't pack water. C'est lavie again. I had another park with a water fountain planned in a couple of miles. And it was actually working. The rest of my run was serene and happily uneventful 'til the end. A little hamstring soreness, but great otherwise. I had even been doing some cutdown pacing the last three miles.

I was about half a mile from the park in the city where my husband was to meet me. Before I continue, I must explain something. I live in the United States - a free country. But even so, there are some places that I don't usually enter - namely governmnent property, especially after 9/11. But being that, the only other property that one usually holds sacred in these parts would be Microsoft property or Boeing property - both largely due to security. (It's fun to be in a boat and go past Bill Gates' compound - you can see the security guys with binoculars on the lookout for anyone who dares come too close.) At this point in my run, however, I was in the city of Renton in Boeing territory. I ran right past the huge Detour signs, thinking they didn't apply to runners, and assuming there would be a sidewalk still available. No such hope. Just like my prior beach park deadend, I could see where I needed to get to, not more than 100 yards ahead - on the other side of a mammoth fence. I swore a few times, and turned around. I went around the block, and found only barricades, no fence. I got excited and went right through. I continued down the street and lost all hope. Another chain link fence. I could see some security building nearby and I was already trespassing. The thing was - I'd just run 18 and a half miles from a different city, and the only way I knew how to get from where I was standing to the other side, was the turn by turn directions I had written down and now carried in the small ziplock baggie in my hand. I stood and looked at the detour suggested and had no idea how far away it would take me. The last few miles of pace cutdown had taken it's emotional toil and I started to get upset. I felt myself start to hyperventilate and my tears start to well-up. Not only did my day hinge upon leaving at 5 am, but also on arriving at the park at a certain time so my husband could start and complete his long run, me pick him up in a different city, and arrive to pick up our child who'd been at an overnight - on time. Silly irrational thoughts that really weren't that big of a deal, became a big deal when I was tired. I noticed the end of the high chain link fence was tied to a barricade at the next fence connection. A barricade! I can do that! In fact it was two barricades tied together with about a mile of yellow caution tape. But it was a way through. My adrenaline was rushing at this point. Mentally I dared some security guard to mess with me as I imagined my explanation with my plastic baggie and my garmin that registered my mileage. And tears - that always helps, doesn't it? The poor damsel in distress? Does tired, dirty, sweaty, cranky runner in distress work? I made it over the barricade and no one even noticed. Good thing I'm not one of those dangerous runners.

I finished the run at the park at 19 miles. Felt really good. Had some chocolate soymilk, a lot of ultima, and ate a cliff bar. Life was just fine. Lots of swimmers coming out of the water, and bikes heading in and out of the parking lot. What a great morning for exercise. The sun was even coming out. My husband headed out for his run, and the munchkins and I headed to get a coffee and treat. Now it's Monday and the UPS guy just brought a box containing my new running shoes! Ahhhh . . . . . the little things in life that make me happy!

A Look Into My World

2006-07-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

Too many thoughts are on my mind - too many thoughts so intertwined . .

Over 90° fahrenheit for 4 days in a row. It hasn't happened in this city for 25 years - it said so on the news - and the news is always right, right? People here don't have A/C - maybe Bill Gates does - and people who live in fancy neighborhoods. But even most of them likely don't. Why would you in a city that's usually between 45° and 65° F all year round? When it's been 92° outside, it's also 92° inside. You try to open the doors and windows early to let a breeze through and then close up the house to keep it cool. Inevitably, when you have 3 active children, the door opens and closes all day long and it gets hot inside. It's hard to sleep - even with a fan on. And then you still wake up all night long. It's crazy.

I haven't typed a blog in a week and my fingernails have grown so long it's hard to type.

I mentioned in a previous post that my birthday was last week. We drove down the hill to have a picnic at the beach the night before to celebrate. I even made BBQ ribs - yummy. The kids and I picked blackberries the next day and made a pie. It's still a little early for blackberries - they're more plentiful in August. The kids were very diligent, though, and found some berries up behind the house. Blackberries are like weeds here - they grow everywhere. I don't like cake a whole lot so pie was a great birthday dessert. I think the most favorite part of my birthday was coming home from the gym. I took my 8-yr-old with me and we walked up to the gym to run on the indoor track. When we got home, my 5 & 10 yr. olds had decorated the house with ribbons, balloons, and hand-drawn banners. They were so excited - it was really cute. My 10-yr-old even opened up itunes, found a song I had just purchased from itunes, and added it to my playlist (Collide, by Howie Day), and had it playing when we walked in the door.

I've been running at the gym a lot since it's been so hot, and since I haven't been sleeping well, it's hard to get up and outside early when it's not so hot. Last Wednesday I got inspired reading about DGC's treadmill PR. I headed up to the gym and did a 10k workout. I can't really call it that 'cause I took a break in the middle. I did the first 5k @ 7:30 pace. Then I walked for a minute. I did the next 5k starting @ 7:20 pace and evenly cut it down to just below 7 minute pace by the end. I was sooo excited. It helped tremendously that Peter Gabriel's 'Salsbury Hill' came on my ipod right at the end - I was getting pretty tired. I remember telling Joe a week or two ago that the good thing about a treadmill is that you can't cheat on a workout - it forces the pace.

The next day was my birthday when I had my 8-yr-old at the indoor track. I intended to run easy. The track is something like 20 laps to a mile. The laps go by so fast, and the track is banked, so it's kinda fun. But you almost can't help going fast - especially when other people are on the track 'cause it's like roadkill during a race. However, I was sore from the day before, so I was planning on taking it easy. I forgot I brought the rabbit with me. The rabbit's name is 'Sydney' - named after the 2000 Sydney Olympics when they announced the city as the site several years prior to 2000. We should've known then and there that the child would love sports. Anyhow . . . she'd stop @ the drinking fountain on the track - when she'd see me approaching, she'd get a big grin on her face and bolt around the corner, taunting me to chase her. I'd try to catch her 'til she'd tire, take a water break, and repeat the process. It was a great 3 mile fartlek workout. I took Friday off, and ran an early and easy 5 on Saturday. I took the kids to the lake for several hours Thursday, Friday, and Saturday because it was so hot. Sunday I had a 12 mile run scheduled. I headed out just before 5 am. The first 6 miles were great - I even got to see one of the cruise ships come into the bay and run through the sprinklers in the park. At 6 miles I suddenly got tired. I stopped to stretch and walked a bit. I ran a little more, then decided I'd had enough. I walked a half mile home, and ended my run at only 8 miles. I brought in the Sunday paper and went to sleep. I spent the next day and a half with nausea, a BAD headache and sensitivity to light. I'm not sure if it was a minor migraine or just too much heat and sun. It was no fun.

I was able to lift weights and run an easy 4 on the treadmill again last night and then we took the kids to the pool and my husband snuck in a few laps while we played. The 2 mountain bike duathlons he had scheduled this summer were both canceled, so now I think he's training for a triathlon instead. I think I'm jealous. But truly I have more running goals that I need to meet before a tri. I just really want to swim more and I have a hard time with it. I think I need a coach. Maybe after our vacation next month.

After all this time on the treadmill, I've become fascinated by it as a tool for training. I've run on treadmills before - in fact my college degree is in exercise physiology and I'm a certified athletic trainer - just not doing anything with that knowledge to earn money right now. (It sure comes in handy sometimes for training, though.) But other than the fact that the treadmill has umpteen hundred functions and settings for use - I'm noticing other stuff. I never expected to have it help me with pacing - and I do much faster workouts than when I'm on the track or the road. I have the perfect opportunity to practice my chi running when I'm running in one place. (If you ever see the book, it's a great read.) I can stare at myself in the mirror and watch my form. When I set the treadmill on the lap program, I can focus on something different every lap - stride, posture, footstrike, etc - it makes it go by pretty fast. I never think about that stuff when I'm on the road. I don't think I'd survive if I didn't have my ipod, though. It amazes me the amount of multi-tasking that goes on there - running without falling off, listening to my ipod, watching the tv up ahead of me while still not falling off, reading the closed-caption while I'm watching the tv, and then focusing on my form and my pace and gawking at all the other people around me on the other treadmills as I stare into the mirror. It's really fascinating.

More life at my house . . . the Tour is over - great year . . . the Mesa Falls marathon has an updated website - I'm getting excited for it just reading the course description. I've enjoyed looking at the badwater webcast - thanks to Angie's link the other day - another year in the books. The temperature finally cooled off today - to 85°. Trail passes to Mt. St. Helens are a hot commodity. I just finished a challenging read - really made me think about society in a different way. And while I'm doling out trivial details - for dinner tonight . . . chicken breast cooked in minced garlic and olive oil, tilapia - marinated and pan fried in lime juice, garlic, salt, cilantro, and sugar, boiled purple cabbage, and gluten free spinach-rice pasta tossed with finely shredded sheep's milk cheese. Bon appetite!

Running 24/7

2006-07-18T14:30:00.000-07:00

I think about this often as I wander through my day so I figure it deserves a random post. I've been running since I was 10. I'll be 36 - on Thursday to be exact, so - quick math - I've been running for 26 years. 26 out of 36 years means I've been a runner for 72% of my life. Dang. That's a lot. I didn't run all the way through three pregnancies, and I've taken bouts of time off for injuries, but more or less, 72% of my life I've been a runner. I've competed at distances from a 200m (4X200 relay in junior college) to the marathon. I've run on teams and I've run alone. What does all this mean? Running is constantly in my head. I find myself living every part of my life as if I'm running or racing.

Driving is the biggest one. Especially since we got our PT Cruiser, and I'm not only driving a minivan full of kids and gear. I drive like I'm running a race - sometimes on a track, sometimes a crowded road race. I find myself making sure I don't get boxed in, and feeling the need to put on surges to pass people. If I'm driving a long distance, I look to the pack of cars ahead, and try to rein them in. When I'm switching freeways, I use the onramps as if I'm beelining from point to point to shorten the distance. When I get tired driving at night, I hang with a group of cars and let them pull me along and break the wind.

I don't know how I'd exist without my stopwatch. I time everything. I time my laundry. I time my cooking. I have a separate timer to time my children's computer usage. I time how long my husband runs so I know when to expect him back. I time when I allow my children to play at a playground. I time how long I read and how long I write. I obviously time my runs. I time my splits even if I'm not doing a pace run.

I'm most comfortably dressed in running clothes. It doesn't make sense to wear much else, because inevitably I have to put them on anyway to go for a run. I wear sport sandals and running shoes. Someone I've known for 15 years told me the other day that she'd never seen my in any girl shoes. I wear shorts most of the year - 'cept for a few months when it gets too cold. Then I wear running pants and polar fleece. My closet is overflowing with race t-shirts, and the reason we do so much laundry is because of running clothes.

Sometimes if I can't sleep at night, I play this game. We have a smoke alarm on the ceiling above the bed. The red light blinks every 30 seconds. As soon as it blinks, I count - trying to maintain an even counting pace between blinks, so I get to the exact same number before it blinks again. Then I close my eyes, count, and try to resist opening them to check if I'm on pace until the last second. It's a pacing game, as if I'm running splits at the track. I do the same thing when I'm running 400's - I don't wanna let myself look at my watch until I'm done with the repeat. I'm convinced that somehow magically, avoiding peeking will make me a more successful pacer.

Everything I consume has to be considered for it's affect on running. I think that's a pretty normal runner thing. I used to have a Nike t-shirt that said, "Eat right, get lots of sleep, drink plenty of fluids" and on the back "and Go Like Hell!". Typical runner mentality.

When I walk anywhere I have to consider the course and the water stops (drinking fountains) along the way.

When I'm grocery shopping, I feel the need to weave between carts and not get passed by the same person down the next aisle.

Whether or not I do yardwork or any other form of exertion that requires lifting or muscle use depends on my training calendar. I don't want to be sore for a run.

I plan vacations with a race in mind or what kind of running routes there might be.

Sometimes I think I must be crazy. But it's so familiar to me, I don't remember any other way to be. I eat, sleep and breathe running. I love to run fast. I was so bummed the other day when I was doing a pace run that I couldn't maintain it for any longer. I love the feeling of flying when I'm running. I talk fast and eat fast too. I have all of my life. I wonder sometimes if I'm an anomaly, or if I'm the norm. It makes no difference. It's who I am. I love running. I do slow down sometimes. Like right now while I'm sitting and typing. What am I writing about? Running, of course.

in random order . .

2006-07-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

Sunday

2006-07-16T19:48:00.000-07:00

So, I could complain all about that hill on mile 5 - 300 ft in a mile, but really, it sorta worked some muscles that would've just been hangin' along for the long haul. And what goes up, must come down. Then my muscles got balanced out. What a beautiful morning. Panoramic views of the mountains and the Puget Sound all pink in the morning. My garmin said it was 16.42 - my Map Point software said about 16 - which do you think would be more fun to put in the running log . . and hey, my pace was pretty close to a 9 minute average - that's lickety split for a long run for me - and the hills n'all. So, another run down, on with my day . . .

The afternoon topped out with a trip to the street fair, a trip to the mediterranean fantasy festival, and a barbecue dinner with overnight company and hopefully a movie. And oh yeah, the triathlon. That was somewhere in the middle. I did realize, 4 hours after my run, and after the tri, that I hadn't eaten. Naughty. I had some good replacement fluids - chocolate soy, some ultima, and some espresso. You just get going with your day . . . but that barbecue dinner made up for it all. And that sushi last night at the japanese restaurant - dang, I've been eatin' good this weekend. I had chinese take-out on Friday too.

Okay, the tri. I didn't do it. I've never done one - not even a duathlon. The Seafair Triathlon was about 1900 this year. There were 300 in the kids tri that our munchkin participated in. A crazy lot of bikes everywhichwhere. We got there when most of the big people were through, and chatted with a veteran triathlon friend who somehow got spooked in the water - too many people in her wave and a little chaotic. All was well, though. Our little one found a friend over in the kids transition area and got set up nearby. Then they sorta hung out and played in the water until close to start time. It was beautiful out at the lake - sun sparkling over the water, mount rainier in the background. When it neared start time, they corralled the kids doing the longer of the two kid versions (100 yd swim, 2 mile bike, .4 mile run), and sent them out in waves.

The water is shallow enough to stand, and many lifeguards stand watch in the water. It all goes by pretty quickly. Grown-ups aren't allowed in the transition area, but volunteers are available to help if needed, and my husband was able to help loosen a tight bike helmet at the exit of the transition area. You get such a kick out of watching all the commotion, it all really does go by fast and your child is continually coming in or out of the transition area. Before you know it, they finish and it's all over.

The little things in life

2006-07-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

My mind is whirring with all sorts of little things . . . I feel like I have all of these thoughts, and when I don't write about them, they float up into the air and 'poof' vanish as though they never existed. Writing them down is my way of validating them. Maybe that's why people write journals - to validate the existence of their inner selves. That's too deep for early morning for me.

The sprinklers were a tease this morning on my run. I took a different route and passed several homes with lawns being watered. I'm the type that typically uses the public sprinklers, but you can never be sure if they'll be on when you get there, and this one yard was ever so tempting . . . ah, but alas, the living room windows were too close and I passed by - ever so dry. I was ever so lucky to discover that many city sprinklers were spraying the grass along the beach trail down below. Sometimes I wonder what people think when they see me running through the sprinklers at 6 in the morning. Sorta like I wondered about the guy I saw exiting the tavern at 5:45 this morning. Interesting. To each his own, I suppose . . .

The cairn artist was in the paper this morning - interesting article about the guy. My daughter was in the paper on Wednesday - not in the PI like the artist, but in the Times. Okay, it wasn't all of her, but a photo of her hands holding a rock crab at low tide. No article, just a photo with a caption. Because it isn't an article, it isn't online, or I'd post a link. She was pretty excited. A journalist interviewed us while we were down at the beach. I was teasing the guy about his job. He spent the morning at the beach taking pictures, then was going to sit in a coffee shop and link up to office, send his work, and call it good for the day. He said he didn't even have to go in. My dream job.

I've had a few really nice runs the last couple of days. Wednesday night I ran when my husband came home from work, while he fed the kids dinner. Then we headed up to the gym to lift weights. By the time we headed home and got the kids settled it was 8:00. We stood in the kitchen eating bananas, then pulled out a couple of beers. We laughed at the prospect of simply having beer and bananas for dinner - sounds like something runners would do. It didn't seem like enough so we made some guacamole and had some corn tortilla chips with it. Carbs, fruit, vegetable, grain - I suppose all we missed was the protein. I was reluctant to run last night when he got home - just feeling lazy. He proceeded to take his sweaty running clothes out of his work bag from his run at lunch, and said, "Come on, you know you want this, you want that 'after run' feeling." I had to laugh at the effort and it got me out the door. I was scheduled to run 8 with a tempo in the middle. I skipped the warm up and cool down, and just did the tempo in the middle. Lazy runner. I clicked off four miles between 7:15 and 7:30 pace and came home with dinner made. Life is good. I got up and ran my scheduled 6 this morning. I'm trying to figure out my run for Sunday. It's tricky. I've got to get in about 2 and a half hours, come home, then my husband leaves for a 10 miler point to point to finish at the location of the triathlon our 8-yr-old is doing. In the meantime, I've got to help her get her gear all ready and head out with the munchkins. I guess it'll be an early morning.

Two other blogworthy things on my TV - We watched 'Shopgirl' the other night - great movie if you haven't seen it. Not at all what we thought it'd be, but thought provoking anyway. Interesting role for Steve Martin. I was watching Sesame Street Tuesday - remember Oscar the Grouch? He was inviting some bands down to his garbage cans for practice. Their names were hilarious, and I'm not sure of the spelling: 'N-Stink' & 'Phlegm 'n' M'. In case you haven't had any caffeine or green tea or fresh air and don't get it - 'N-Sync and Eminem'. The band member/muppet for Phlegm 'n' M kept clearing his throat, it was hilarious. Sesame Street never ceases to amaze me with it's ability to keep up with the times.

I suppose it's breakfast time. My youngest - who is 5 - just woke up and asked if she could have one of those fuzzy things that we bought at the produce market on the way home from the dog park yesterday. (That's how she said it.) She's just gone into the kitchen, gotten an apricot (one of those fuzzy things), and taken it back to bed with her. And she's woken up her sister on the top bunk to tell her all about the experience and ask again what that fuzzy thing is called. I can tell it's going to be a great day.

A few more of my favorites

2006-07-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Cairns

2006-07-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

These are the cairns/inukshuks that I saw from my run on Sunday. I took the kids back with me to take a look. The two parks adjoin and are about 3/4 miles long from end to end. There are 268 cairns in total - my children counted. We even got to meet James, the artist, who is included in one of the photos. Some along the park by another artist are mere rock stacks, others are a form of art, and depict actual scenes or character representations. On a bench nearby, a friend of James told me it reminded him of Easter Island and said it was as if these statues were protecting the city from what might come in from the bay.

Lowest tide of the year . . .

2006-07-12T10:49:00.000-07:00